Posted on 12/29/2015 6:13:17 AM PST by Kaslin
yeah, doing it for societal reasons sounds silly to me. leads to a lot of unhappiness and abuse.
do it because you are in love. there is a tremendous difference seen between my friends who married for love and those that married because “it was time”.
leaving the “sexual revolution” out of any marriage debate makes it a little moot.
We weren’t ready, by any means.
We grew into it, and we raised each other. We’re still married after almost 30 years now.
That said, I’m all for waiting to find the right one if that takes a little extra time. Better than marrying the wrong one and being in misery forever. I’ve known plenty who held out and did quite well.
Too many have their faces in their phones nowadays to even look up. I honestly don’t know how anyone expects to find anyone nowadays. Everyone so self absorbed.
Certain kinds of musicians and artists should not marry. Never. The ones driven by the madness of their craft - the spouse will just end up being a kind of widow as all of the passion is diverted onanistically and poured out in notes or canvass. It’s a variation on the workaholic’s widow. Writers seem to be able to pull it off though. Funny that.
The number of quality single men wasn't all that high when I was younger either.
Many great points in the article.
However ........ if I were contemplating marriage in the aftermath of gay “marriage” I would find a clergy member who would be willing to marry me in the church but not in the eyes of the government. The government and the legal profession have made a mockery of marriage and a thriving business from divorce and it is none of their business whether I am married or not.
I’m not sure why Dennis didn’t mention that ready access to consequence free sex is the primary disincentive for men to marry.
As long as women are willing participants in this charade, they will continue to be the victims of being used and alone.
Some women are fine with this....most are not.
Very few young men are ready to marry today, for various reasons.
Writer's cramp?................
I was always told that if a man says. “I’m not ready to get married,” that one should append the words “...to you” at the end of the statement, and one would not be far wrong.
Jesus said, "There is no marriage in Heaven.".................That's why they call it 'Heaven'....................
Newspeak translator to the rescue: “I’m not ready to get married” = “I’m not ready to stop f***ing my brains out”.
HTH.
Another piece of 'untrue' 'common wisdom'. Since this is the Christmas season, I'll use the case of Joseph and Mary...... In the New Testament, Joseph basically disappears after the Flight to Egypt part of the story (and just a cameo appearance when Jesus stayed at the Temple after Passover when he was 12). Why? In practically every production of The Christmas Story I've ever seen in movies or books Joseph and Mary are portrayed as teens or young adults, but was probably not the case. Back in those days, men and women did not get married at the same age. Men usually were about thirty or so and women were barely into puberty, so there would have been approximately a 17 year gap in their ages. Even though the marriages were usually arranged between families and tribal clans to preserve the bloodlines and whatever fortunes there may have been to 'keep in the family', men were expected to be able to financially support a family by learning a trade and become proficient at it. Joseph was a carpenter and was most likely in his early 30's, while Mary would have been a very young teenager. So, by the time of Jesus' crucifixion, Mary was probably about 45 and Joseph would have already died. That's why Jesus asked John to 'take care' of his mother, being the oldest son it was his responsibility to make sure she was provided for........................
Why do you think that only works in one direction? I think your sentence is just as true if you change "men" to "women".
Most of the so-called "hookup culture" seems to consist of young women pursuing random encounters with "alpha" male "players".
Many of the "non-alpha" men, many of whom would have made fine husbands and fathers in a different age, simply refuse to play that game and drop out. (Google "MGTOW".) Video games are more compelling and fun than asking for dates and being turned down repeatedly, laughed at, cheated on, or otherwise humiliated.
The problem is you can't keep doing it once they're all gone.
In medieval Europe, royalty often married when they were barely in puberty or even before. Why? Procreation was their primary responsibility, and almost everything else in their lives was comfortably provided for.
Among the poor, however, that was not true, and marriage ages were often much older. Boys first had to establish themselves in some sort of productive trade or craft. Girls sometimes had to care first for aging parents or younger siblings.
Honestly, I’m not sure there’s much out there that is worth marriage. If you’re not into the Lena Dunham type, then you’re better off alone.
I don’t blame people marrying people from overseas, this whole dysfunctional “hookup culture” needs to be vetoed and left to die off for what it is, sad and lonely.
FTA: Aside from the rational and moral problems that derive from being guided by feelings rather than by reason and values, there is one other problem. In life, behavior shapes feelings. Act happy, you’ll feel happy.
&&&
Making life choices based on “feelings” is adolescent, at best.
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