Republican Leadership Comes Out as “Transpolitical,” Self-Identify as Democrats (satire)

Finally explaining their unexplainable actions in Congress since the midterm elections last November, House and Senate leaders announced today that they were “transpolitical,” meaning they consider themselves to be a member of both political parties. The move was made after Speaker of the House, John Boehner, said he viewed being called a “RINO” (Republican in Name Only) to be a political micro-aggression, and it always made him cry.

Congressman Paul Ryan and Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell also said that conservative lawmakers and critics have been hurting their feelings for quite some time by questioning their decisions and they were relieved that the issue was now out in the open. Mr. Boehner said, “If people couldn’t tell that I’m 2/3 Democrat by now then they’re stupid and that’s their fault, not mine.”

“I think screwing the American people on this fast-track trade bill has been what has opened the door for this frank discussion on transpolitical politicians, so I view it as a mixed blessing,” Congressman Ryan said. “Lately, I, personally, have been identifying more as a Democrat. It’s been a confusing time for me as I try to figure out what it all means. But, hopefully, this will help the American people, especially Republican voters, understand why we sell them out so much of the time.”

Asked if he still had the backs of Republican voters until the election next November, McConnell said, “Oh, God no! We haven’t worked on their behalf since the midterms so why should we start now? No, we’ll continue to pretty much give President Obama whatever he needs to build his legacy over the next year and a half and the voters will just have to suck it. Let them run for office if they want to change things.”

Rand Paul to GOP: It's Time to Move Beyond the Second Amendment

Rand Paul On Shutdown: "Even Though It Appeared I Was Participating In It, It Was A Dumb Idea"
I said throughout the whole battle that shutting down the government was a dumb idea. Even though it did appear as if I was participating in it, I said it was a dumb idea. And the reason I voted for it, though, is that it's a conundrum. Here's the conundrum. We have a $17 trillion debt and people at home tell me you can't give the president a blank check. We just can't keep raising the debt ceiling without conditions. So unconditionally raising the debt ceiling, nobody at home wants me to vote for that and I can't vote for that. But the conundrum is if I don't we do approach these deadlines. So there is an impasse. In 2011, though, we had this impasse and the president did negotiate. We got the sequester. If we were to extend the sequester from discretionary spending to all the entitlements we would actually fix our problem within a few years.
[Posted on 11/19/2013 12:16:51 PM by Third Person]

Rand Paul: Time for GOP to soften war stance
...by softening its edge on some volatile social issues and altering its image as the party always seemingly "eager to go to war... We do need to expand the party and grow the party and that does mean that we don't always all agree on every issue" ... the party needs to become more welcoming to individuals who disagree with basic Republican doctrine on emotional social issues such as gay marriage... "We're going to have to be a little hands off on some of these issues ... and get people into the party," Paul said.
[Posted on 01/31/2013 5:08:50 PM PST by xzins]

Rand Paul's immigration speech
...The Republican Party must embrace more legal immigration.

Unfortunately, like many of the major debates in Washington, immigration has become a stalemate-where both sides are imprisoned by their own rhetoric or attachment to sacred cows that prevent the possibility of a balanced solution.

Immigration Reform will not occur until Conservative Republicans, like myself, become part of the solution. I am here today to begin that conversation.

Let's start that conversation by acknowledging we aren't going to deport 12 million illegal immigrants.

If you wish to work, if you wish to live and work in America, then we will find a place for you...

This is where prudence, compassion and thrift all point us toward the same goal: bringing these workers out of the shadows and into being taxpaying members of society.

Imagine 12 million people who are already here coming out of the shadows to become new taxpayers.12 million more people assimilating into society. 12 million more people being productive contributors.
[Posted on 03/19/2013 7:04:07 AM PDT by Perdogg]
Rand Paul calls on conservatives to embrace immigration reform
Latinos, should be a natural constituency for the party, Paul argued, but "Republicans have pushed them away with harsh rhetoric over immigration." ...he would create a bipartisan panel to determine how many visas should be granted for workers already in the United States and those who might follow... [and the buried lead] "Imagine 12 million people who are already here coming out of the shadows to become new taxpayers...
[Posted on 04/21/2013 1:52:42 PM PDT by SoConPubbie]
[but he's not in favor of amnesty, snicker, definition of is is]

Rand Slams Congress for Funding Egypt's Generals: 'How Does Your Conscience Feel Now?'
Sen. Rand Paul is hammering his fellow senators for keeping billions in financial aid flowing to Egypt's military -- even as Cairo's security forces massacre anti-government activists. [by "anti-government activists" is meant church-burning Christian-murdering jihadists]
[Posted on 08/15/2013 5:44:10 PM PDT by Hoodat]

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