Posted on 06/15/2014 5:35:44 AM PDT by Kaslin
Its Fathers Day today and I cant think of a more important job than raising your kids right. Dont believe me? Well then, I have two words for you: Bowe and Bergdhal.
As much as some stretch-panted lesbian might try to marginalize the role of fathers with their mullet-headed, misguided, misandristic Weltanschauung, the stats clearly state that when pop is in the house, and he properly doles out TLC, the kids come out as a great asset to the planet instead of selfish jackasses.
And thats what our country needs: parents raising kids who love God and our country and dont cost our nation one red cent, but rather add tremendous value to this great experiment in self-governance.
Yknow, sometimes I wonder if Obama had been properly fathered then maybe our country wouldnt be so embarrassed, in debt and internationally laughed at right now.
Therefore, and herewith, are nine ways you, the young dad, can make certain you dont raise a kid like el presidente.
1. Make sure your children appreciate this nation, its founding docs and its original intent and not some wet dream Bill Ayers and Bernadine Dohrn had back in the late 60s when they were high on acid, Che Guevara and Saul Alinsky. Especially be certain that they love our Armed Forces who protect us and not slice and dice their benefits.
2. Make certain your kids know its wrong to lie your butt off to people who have given you their trust. For instance, if you tell people "they can keep their health care plan and their doctors, period! then mean that, dammit.
3. If in the event your offspring does make mistakes and situations get worse under their care, train your child to own their mistakes instead of blaming George W. Bush for their ham-fisted, ill-thought out blunders.
4. Teach your child that glib speeches read from a teleprompter that are laced with platitudes and horse manure do not replace character, honesty and integrity.
5. Lovingly school your young child that when he gets older, writing two books about yourself, or worse yet, having them ghost-written about oneself, is really, really weird and doesnt make one a great leader but rather a Little Lord Fauntleroy.
6. Take the time also to train your dear child to throw a baseball properly so he doesnt look uh um effeminate should he ever be called upon to throw out a first pitch during a baseball game.
7. Father, if you have a son, let him know its okay for him to drink out of a straw when hes like uh three but not when hes the leader of the free world. At least not in public; and if he ever does drink from a straw in public tell him to never look someone of the same sex in the eye while doing so. The same goes for eating a banana.
8. In addition, dads, please instruct your spawn not to frickin spy on people. Okay? Its rude and no one likes it and people will think youre a paranoid control freak.
9. And finally, teach your young whippersnapper if he is a boy to forego marrying a mean woman whos ashamed of this nation and wants to police what people eat and dont eat.
Happy Fathers Day and good luck.
I would recommend against tranny nannies too.
I don’t think I have to worry about that. I am not of a privileged class to even have a shot at putting a child in that position. I have also raised four children that respect God, their nation, and its military. They can’t wait to register to vote. (I will have two new voters in 2016.)
How about: before you take on a wife to be the mother of your children, make sure the prospective grandparents (her parents) aren’t flaming Commies?
The simplest way a man can avoid having sons who turn out badly is not to have sex, ever, with anyone other than his wife. (One and only one wife, not one of several.)
I spent yesterday with my sons whipping the yard and our equipment into shape ,, then I made my youngest son a bowie knife from the used edger blade we replaced. They went to bed TIRED.
Also, make sure that you ARE there for your kids. Don’t abandon them and make sure you are MARRIED before you get a kid.
My sons would love to have a used-edger-blade Bowie knife!
As well as a group of corrupt politicians.
Be there.
Despite the Cavalier curls, he was a manly little boy with a high regard for truth and love for his country.
Some people call it a Kaiser blade. I call it a sling blade.
:)
How about just being there for your child and not let some left wing 1960s radicals rais him?
Take your kids shooting.
Often.
If you (the father) are a left wing 1960s radical, that’s hardly an improvement.
Your kids may disappoint, but be honest. Your grand kids never do. Right?
Don’t want to raise a collectivist?
Be there for them. Teach them. Tell them stories at bedtime. Take them to church and teach them about God at home. Love them. Hug them. Listen to them. Watch them. Know everything about them. Love their mother with a passion and stay with her. Be loyal. Tell them no. Spank the slobbers out of them when they need it. Laugh with them. Take them shooting. Make stuff in the shop with them. Warn them about the follies of foolish living, which includes collectivism. Show them what fools look like and what wise people look like.
And Being mentored by commies/muzzies.
LOL
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