[Libloather]

I've always wondered - how does someone prove that they're gay. The miracles of modern medicine. Or Gaydar.

Full title - Gulf states to introduce medical testing on travellers to 'detect' gay people and stop them from entering the country

[Gabrial]

Show the males a picture of the clown and see if they go all Reggie Love.

[Theoria]

Joke? Satire?

[Corey Ohlis]

And I thought the article was referring to Ala., Miss., La.

[AKinAK]

Easily. Hook up suspect fags to a BP & ECG machine then parade naked men & boys in front of them to see if there is a reaction.

[ghost of nixon]

place a TV on either side of the security line...show soccer match on one side, latest episode of Glee on the other side...

[abigkahuna]

I think they have prospects sing “Clang Clang Clang Goes the Trolley.

If that result is misleading, then a rendition of “Somewhere Over The Rainbow” should provide definite results one way or another.

[John Valentine]

I wonder how this will work in Oman, considering the rumored status of at least one highly placed individual already in the country.

Hmm....

[Chainmail]

Simple field test: if the testee has a nasty STD, it’s about 85 per cent certain it’s a “gay”.

[JediJones]

[Hardraade]

Obama can no longer set foot in the Middle East?

[Vision Thing]

The Vegas bookies should start accepting bets in the upcoming battle between gays and Islam.

[Hillarys Gate Cult]

Was always said in the Air Force that the way to tell if a guy is gay is to kiss him. If he gets “aroused” then he’s gay. Never cared to try it.

[paudio]

I believe some doctors and psychologists affiliated with BYU Utah tried to do this in the 1960s or 70s. They used the strength of erection, etc., on students. Those who deemed homosexual would be sent for treatment.

[Misterioso]

Won’t they need to ‘detect’ gay people in their domestic population in order to expel them? Lotta work ahead.

[bunkerhill7]

Have a male camel at the gate.

[canuck_conservative]

Ha! The RCMP already beat them to it.

"Fruit machine" is a jocular term for a device developed in Canada that was supposed to be able to identify homosexual people, or "fruits". The subjects were made to view pornography, and the device measured the diameter of the pupils of the eyes (pupillary response test), perspiration, and pulse for a supposed erotic response.

The fruit machine was employed in Canada in the 1950s and 1960s during a campaign to eliminate all homosexuals from the civil service, the Royal Canadian Mounted Police (RCMP), and the military. A substantial number of workers did lose their jobs. Although funding for the "fruit machine" project was cut off in the late 1960s, the investigations continued, and the RCMP collected files on over 9,000 suspected homosexuals.

The chair was like one from a dentist's office. It had a pulley with a camera going towards the pupils. There was a black box in front of it that showed pictures. The pictures ranged from the mundane to sexually explicit photos of men and women. It had previously been determined that the pupils would dilate in relation to the amount of interest in the picture. This was called the pupillary response test.

People were told the machine was to rate stress. After knowledge of its real purpose became widespread, few people volunteered for it.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fruit_machine_%28homosexuality_test%29

[mikey_hates_everything]

That culture only considers the “catcher” as gay so it will probably involve some sort of anal exam.

[fieldmarshaldj]

Worst job in the world... airport rectal prolapse checker.

[Harmless Teddy Bear]

Ask them what "mauve" is.

If they say, "Huh?" They are straight.

If they say "oh I love that color!" They are gay.

[IbJensen]

They could check and see if any of the travelers’ body orifices are somewhat enlarged. Or, the authorities could have them look at an eye chart that would show a male organ. If there’s a reaction they’re probably homosexual or perhaps cockeyed.

Show the suspected lesbians a female chart. A big tipoff would be a large wristwatch or a very butch hairdo.