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[From 2011] Divorce Agreement
[Posted on Blogosphere and on FR] Morning's Email ^ | Posted on Blogosphere and on FR 2011

Posted on 06/01/2013 7:01:57 AM PDT by IbJensen

DIVORCE AGREEMENT--

WRITTEN BY YOUNG COLLEGE STUDENT

The person who wrote this is a college (law) student. Perhaps there is hope for us after all.

DIVORCE AGREEMENT

THIS IS SO INCREDIBLY WELL PUT AND I CAN HARDLY BELIEVE IT'S BY A YOUNG PERSON, A STUDENT!!! WHATEVER HE RUNS FOR, I'LL VOTE FOR HIM.

Dear American liberals, leftists, social progressives, socialists, Marxists and Obama supporters, et al: We have stuck together since the late 1950's for the sake of the kids, but the whole of this latest election process has made me realize that I want a divorce. I know we tolerated each other for many years for the sake of future generations, but sadly, this relationship has clearly run its course.

Our two ideological sides of America cannot and will not ever agree on what is right for us all, so let's just end it on friendly terms. We can smile and chalk it up to irreconcilable differences and go our own way.

Here is a our separation agreement:

--Our two groups can equitably divide up the country by landmass each taking a similar portion. That will be the difficult part, but I am sure our two sides can come to a friendly agreement. After that, it should be relatively easy! Our respective representatives can effortlessly divide other assets since both sides have such distinct and disparate tastes.

--We don't like redistributive taxes so you can keep them.

--You are welcome to the liberal judges and the ACLU. --Since you hate guns and war, we'll take our firearms, the cops, the NRA and the military.

--We'll take the nasty, smelly oil industry and the coal mines, and you can go with wind, solar and biodiesel.

--You can keep Oprah, Michael Moore and Rosie O'Donnell. You are, however, responsible for finding a bio-diesel vehicle big enough to move all three of them.

--We'll keep capitalism, greedy corporations, pharmaceutical companies, Wal-Mart and Wall Street.

--You can have your beloved lifelong welfare dwellers, food stamps, homeless, homeboys, hippies, druggies and illegal aliens.

--We'll keep the hot Alaskan hockey moms, greedy CEO's and rednecks.

--We'll keep Bill O'Reilly, and Bibles and give you NBC and Hollywood .

--You can make nice with Iran and Palestine and we'll retain the right to invade and hammer places that threaten us.

--You can have the peaceniks and war protesters. When our allies or our way of life are under assault, we'll help provide them security.

--We'll keep our Judeo-Christian values.

--You are welcome to Islam, Scientology, Humanism, political correctness and Shirley McClain. You can also have the U.N. but we will no longer be paying the bill.

--We'll keep the SUV's, pickup trucks and oversized luxury cars. You can take every Volt and Lea f you can find.

--You can give everyone healthcare if you can find any practicing doctors.

--We'll keep "The Battle Hymn of the Republic" and "The National Anthem."

--I'm sure you'll be happy to substitute "Imagine", "I'd Like to Teach the World to Sing", "Kum Ba Ya" or "We Are the World".

--We'll practice trickle-down economics and you can continue to give trickle up poverty your best shot.

--Since it often so offends you, we'll keep our history, our name and our flag.

Would you agree to this? If so, please pass it along to other like-minded liberal and conservative patriots and if you do not agree, just hit delete. In the spirit of friendly parting, I'll bet you might think about which one of us will need whose help in 15 years.

Sincerely,

John J. Wall

Law Student and an American

P.S. Also, please take Ted Turner, Sean Penn, Martin & Charlie Sheen, Barbara Streisand, & ( Hanoi ) Jane Fonda with you.

P.S.S. And you won't have to press 1 for English when you call our country.


TOPICS: Chit/Chat
KEYWORDS: vanity
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Forgot to give the progressives Hillary, Billy Goat, Pelosi, Durbin, Waters, et al until infinity!
1 posted on 06/01/2013 7:01:57 AM PDT by IbJensen
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To: IbJensen

Good post!


2 posted on 06/01/2013 7:05:44 AM PDT by sauropod (Fat Bottomed Girl: "What difference, at this point, does it make?")
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To: IbJensen

Actually, this sort of thing has been tried. It did not work.

Look at the history of India/Pakistan.

The only solution with regards to the left/islam is annihilation. Nothing more or less.


3 posted on 06/01/2013 7:06:40 AM PDT by Hardraade (http://junipersec.wordpress.com (Obama equals Osama))
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To: IbJensen

Forgot to give the progressives Hillary, Billy Goat, Pelosi, Durbin, Waters, et al until infinity!

***

obama and his beastly wife, all media except Fox, Reid, McCain, Graham, RINOs. We’ll be happy to take our toys and leave. I’m so sick of these people I can scream.

Many thanks to the author of the article.


4 posted on 06/01/2013 7:14:45 AM PDT by mardi59 (IMPEACH OBAMA NOW!!!!!)
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To: Hardraade

“The only solution with regards to the left/islam is annihilation. Nothing more or less.”

The left understands this and is intent on crushing conservatives just as the North destroyed the South during and after the Civil War.

Unfortunately Bob Dole, both George Bushes, John McCain, Lindsay Graham, Mitch McConnell, John Boehner, Mitt Romney, Eric Cantor, Susan Collins, Lisa Murkowski, Orrin Hatch and the other Republican leaders in Washington don’t understand they are in a fight to the death or have already surrendered and are being given a few crumbs to play the opposition in a charade.


5 posted on 06/01/2013 7:17:43 AM PDT by Soul of the South (Yesterday is gone. Today will be what we make of it.)
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To: sauropod

bump


6 posted on 06/01/2013 7:25:54 AM PDT by Rumplemeyer (The GOP should stand its ground - and fix Bayonets)
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To: IbJensen

Aw, do we have to keep Ted Baxter?


7 posted on 06/01/2013 7:28:20 AM PDT by NonValueAdded (Unindicted Co-conspirators: The Mainstream Media)
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To: IbJensen

The next secession can be peaceful or devolve into another pitched Civil War fought to the bitter end. I am good either way.


8 posted on 06/01/2013 7:28:48 AM PDT by central_va (I won't be reconstructed and I do not give a damn.)
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To: MarineMom613

for later


9 posted on 06/01/2013 7:29:07 AM PDT by MarineMom613 (RIP Sandra Sue, my fur baby 12/31/1999 ~ 7/2/2010 - See you on the other side!)
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To: NonValueAdded
Ted will have to have his own little island.

He's an "independent" don'tyouknow.

10 posted on 06/01/2013 7:29:49 AM PDT by Texas Eagle (If it wasn't for double-standards, Liberals would have no standards at all -- Texas Eagle)
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To: IbJensen
Truth you can believe in.

They can keep their Hope version of that ideal.

11 posted on 06/01/2013 7:30:09 AM PDT by R0CK3T
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To: IbJensen

The only way they’ll give us a divorce is if we take all of the debt and pay them alimony for 100 years. Leeches.


12 posted on 06/01/2013 7:36:20 AM PDT by BuckeyeTexan (There are those that break and bend. I'm the other kind. ~Steve Earle)
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To: IbJensen

Excellent post. Thanks.

About the debt though, both sides are responsible.

We need to stop buying more than we sell.

Now.


13 posted on 06/01/2013 7:43:05 AM PDT by Cringing Negativism Network
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To: IbJensen

The Republicans see public treasuries as a place to collect money to be used for common purposes such as defense and road building. The Democrats see public treasuries as a place to loot. Sometimes they loot the public treasuries to buy votes, but they also loot the public treasuries to enrich themselves. The Democrats got out of the bank robbing business and got into the public treasury robbing business. It’s safer and more profitable.


14 posted on 06/01/2013 7:43:54 AM PDT by blueunicorn6 ("A crack shot and a good dancer")
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To: IbJensen
I firmly...absolutely...believe that secession is the only answer.The Communist States of American can have CA,NY,IL,MA,VT,NJ,MD,DC,HI and a few others.Once the CSA is formed it can be “damn the torpedoes” for them for all I care.EBT cards for everyone! The entire population of Mexico is granted automatic citizenship in the CSA! Marriages between 3 people,4 baboons and a garden gnome are allowed.And everyone (except the powerful,of course) will commute on pogo sticks.We'll get most of the farmland and oil...they'll get Oakland,Detroit,Camden,NJ....and Guadalajara!
15 posted on 06/01/2013 7:45:49 AM PDT by Gay State Conservative (Leno Was Right,They *Are* Undocumented Democrats!)
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To: sauropod

Sure would save an enormous amount of blood shed in the long run.


16 posted on 06/01/2013 7:47:25 AM PDT by servantboy777
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To: IbJensen

If only it were that easy. The left wants power over everybody, not just people who think like they do. There is no “live and let live” in the heart and mind of a leftist.


17 posted on 06/01/2013 7:47:37 AM PDT by EricT. (Another Muslim terrorist. Who saw that coming?)
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To: Gay State Conservative

I am convinced that the only way America can be saved is to take Washington (the seat of the Central Socialist Government) completely out of the hands of the entrenched political class. They’ve used our Constitution as toilet paper so, at present, it is not functioning as a safeguard against incursion by this evil government. If that is so the nation can be ruled by the RIGHT until such time as proper safeguards against the rebirth of socialism are enacted.

An expansion of the death penalty is necessary to avoid costly incarceration of murderers, rapists, child predators, terrorists, etc.

A return to the worship of God is necessary as is the expulsion of all those citizens of other countries AND the muslims who will never be able to be assimilated into a peaceful society. Their ridiculous, evil religion is not compatible with a peaceful, ordered society.

Our membership in the (dis) United Nations should be cancelled and embassies in all unfriendly nations closed, our ambassadors recalled and theirs expelled. Foreign aid to every nation must be withdrawn.

Immediate work on a strategic defense mechanism should begin.

Drill for oil everywhere and halt all imports of Muslim oil.

There are so many things that must be done and time is of the essence. The longer this evil and utterly ridiculous government remains in power the shorter our time becomes to function as a nation .


18 posted on 06/01/2013 8:08:40 AM PDT by IbJensen (Liberals are like Slinkies, good for nothing, but you smile as you push them down the stairs.)
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To: blueunicorn6

It’s as simple as this:

The Democrat Party is the party of death, homosexuals, pig troughs, surrender and evil.


19 posted on 06/01/2013 8:10:25 AM PDT by IbJensen (Liberals are like Slinkies, good for nothing, but you smile as you push them down the stairs.)
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To: central_va

YES


20 posted on 06/01/2013 8:11:52 AM PDT by IbJensen (Liberals are like Slinkies, good for nothing, but you smile as you push them down the stairs.)
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