Posted on 12/11/2012 9:48:27 AM PST by SeekAndFind
A very successful lawyer parked his brand new Porsche Carrera GT in front of the office, ready to show it off to his colleagues. As he got out, a truck came along too close to the curb and completely tore off the driver’s door.
Fortunately, a cop in a police car was close enough to see the accident and pulled up behind the Porsche, his lights flashing. But, before the cop had a chance to ask any questions, the lawyer started screaming hysterically about how his Porsche, which he had just picked up the day before, was now completely ruined and would never be the same, no matter how hard the body shop tries to make it new again.
After the lawyer finally wound down from his rant, the cop shook his head in disgust and disbelief. “I can’t believe how materialistic you lawyers are,” he said. “You are so focused on your possessions that you neglect the most important things in life.”
“How can you say such a thing?” asked the lawyer.
The cop replied, “Don’t you even realize that your left arm is missing? It got ripped off when the truck hit you!!!”
“OH, MY GOD!” screamed the lawyer.........”MY ROLEX!”
Hi, B-D.
Any news on DrE?
B-D. How have you been? It’s been a month of Fridays.
I absolve you of your thread absence since you have blessed us with another silly lawyer joke.
Someday I shall organize another Bi-Annual Neener Picnic and reunion. We shall invite the GRPL’s and perhaps join forces against the forces of darkness. Or perhaps we shall just drink a few beers and reminisce and swap stories from the Cal/Arm wars.
It is good to hear from you.
Neeners all around.
YOU are wrong. There is an answer. The answer is the historically proven successful institution of marriage as it evolved and was defined by many generations of society BEFORE the rational central planning crowd began attempting the social engineering of it.
The free market place of ideas already provided the answer long ago before the modern elites began the assault on marriage.
Calling this an issue for the states (states rights) to decide is in essence nothing more than calling for the perversion of the institution by rationally based central planning at the state level RATHER than the federal.
There are some (the majority) things reserved to the people and there are as well some self evident to all but the intentionally or ignorantly blind.
There was never no problem with the definition of marriage UNTIL the leftist started redlining it -THAT is the problem. The solution is simple -stop government at all levels from imposing the absurd instead of protecting the proven.
A duck walks into a pharmacy and says, “Give me some chap stick and put it on my bill.”
An attorney was sitting in his office late one night, when the Devil appeared before him.
The Devil told the lawyer, “I have a proposition for you. You can win every case you try, for the rest of your life. Your clients will adore you, your colleagues will stand in awe of you, and you will make embarrassing sums of money.
All I want in exchange is your soul, your wife’s soul, your children’s souls, the souls of your parents, grandparents, and parents-in-law, and the souls of all of your friends and law partners.”
The lawyer thought about this for a moment, then asked, “So, what’s the catch?”
things have been rather hectic here with little time for the forum. I miss the wars and the annual Neener’s barbecue, mud wrestling and revival meetings we used to have every third year if the date fell on an odd year; if on an even year then every fourth years or second year, which ever came first.
A blonde and a lawyer sit next to each other on a plane. The lawyer asks her to play a game. If he asked her a question that she didn’t know the answer to, she would have to pay him five dollars; And every time the blonde asked the lawyer a question that he didn’t know the answer to, the lawyer had to pay the blonde 50 dollars.
So the lawyer asked the blonde his first question, “What is the distance between the Earth and the nearest star?”
Without a word the blonde pays the lawyer five dollars. The blonde then asks him, “What goes up a hill with four legs and down a hill with three?” The lawyer thinks about it, but finally gives up and pays the blonde 50 dollars.
after a long pause the lawyer asked her what the answer was and without a word the blonde gave the lawyer five dollars.
What do you call a lawyer gone bad?
Senator
What do you call a lawyer with an IQ of 80?
.
.
.
.
.
Your Honor.
LOLOL! Thanks so much for the chuckles!
At a remote monastery deep in the woods, the monks followed a rigid vow of silence. This vow could only be broken once a year on Christmas, by one monk, and the monk could speak only one sentence.
One Christmas, Brother Thomas had his turn to speak and said, “I love the delightful mashed potatoes we have every year with the Christmas roast!” Then he sat down. Silence ensued for 365 days.
The next Christmas, Brother Michael got his turn, and said, “I think the mashed potatoes are lumpy and I truly despise them!” Once again, silence ensued for 365 days.
The following Christmas, Brother Paul rose and said, “I am fed up with this constant bickering!”
LOLOL!
LOL!
LOL!
Post #45 with no replies is the first one to get it. Amazing!!
Polygamy will be brought back as soon as they think it is safe. It is the hope of all faithful LDS men. After all they model their earthly life after what they think their after life will be like.
Disclaimer: Opinions posted on Free Republic are those of the individual posters and do not necessarily represent the opinion of Free Republic or its management. All materials posted herein are protected by copyright law and the exemption for fair use of copyrighted works.