Mother of Disabled Son: “I Knew I Had to Abort Him”

Life News ^ | 5/21/12 | Byron Calhoun, Ph.D.

[wagglebee]

While one woman’s video about her decision to reject an abortion of her disabled son is resonating with millions of views, another mother tells a British newspaper that, upon finding out her son would have disabilities, she “knew” she had to abort him.

Sara Carpenter writes at the London Daily Mail newspaper, “I saw my son’s bleak future and knew I had to abort him.”

Feeling my unborn son move inside me should have been a joyous moment midway through my pregnancy — a milestone that took me closer to welcoming my third child into the world. Instead, every tiny movement made me feel sick with guilt at what I knew I had to do.

Sitting, head in hands, at our kitchen table, I wept at the turn our lives had taken and the terrible dilemma my husband Andrew and I were suddenly facing. It was a choice no parent should ever have to make. This should have been a straightforward pregnancy. After all, this baby was every bit as planned and wanted as our other two children, and welcoming our first son into the family would be a special joy.

But things were different from the start. In contrast with my previous two pregnancies, I had felt sick and weak every minute of every arduous day. It was almost as if my body had been trying to tell me something. I’d grown to love this baby, but something felt terribly wrong. My fears were confirmed on October 1, 2006, when a routine scan changed everything. I’d held my breath as the consultant spent far longer than I knew was standard studying and measuring sections of my baby’s spine and brain.

Scan images are notoriously hard for lay-people to make sense of, but the protrusion on my son’s back was impossible to miss. As the doctor switched off the monitor and turned her chair to face me, I clenched my fists and jaw, willing her to say there was nothing to worry about. Instead, my stomach lurched as she said: ‘I’m sorry, but your baby has spina bifida.’

Spina bifida can be surgically closed after birth and intrauterine surgery for spina bifida has also been performed. But Carpenter said her doctor informed her and her husband that their baby would never walk.

Carpenter said she came from a pro-life, Catholic family and marched in a pro-life rally when she was young. Although she had pro-life values, the prospect of watching a disabled son struggle prompted the decision to take his life, saying killing him was a kind response.

Andrew and I talked long into the night, and finally agreed that ending the pregnancy was the kindest thing we could do for our son.

Despite the confident manner in which Carpenter decided to have an abortion using the dangerous abortion drug mifepristone, the thought still haunted her and probably will for a lifetime.

What followed were the worst 16 hours of my life. They passed in a morphine-induced haze, but there was no dulling what was happening. My baby was being forced into the world long before he could survive in it, and it felt unnatural — completely at odds with my instincts as a mother. My body seemed to be doing all it could to hold onto him, and the labour went on and on.

At one point, in the grips of what felt like a panic attack, I became hysterical. Gasping for breath and screaming, I demanded that Andrew tell me why we were doing this and why it was the right thing for our son.

In contrast, the video of the courageous mom who shares her account of rejecting suggestions that she have an abortion following the prediction from doctors that her unborn child would be born with disabilities has been seen now by millions of people.

Lacey Buchanan is chronicling her journey with Christian and her family on her blog and has talked more about the inspiring story. Christian Taylor Buchanan was born with a bilateral cleft palate and lip and almost completely blind.

[Blue Collar Christian]

“...the kindest thing they could do for themselves.”

I concur. Abortion is purely selfish. The rest of this crap is just that.

[HiTech RedNeck]

A kid’s legs are paralyzed from birth (if the doctors’ notoriously often-wrong prognosis about the handicap is correct), so that automatically makes him a useless eater?

GRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!

Doesn’t this kid have a MIND too???? Not just a BODY????

She might have just killed off the next Beethoven, or the man who would have cured all cancer.

[Pinkbell]

Just so incredibly upsetting! In a sense, her comments seem to contain regret and would seem to have the power to deter some women from abortion. One might almost think she regrets her decision, but then she declares her and her husband made the right decision so her son wouldn’t have to “suffer.” That’s nonsense. Every person alive suffers in life, even if the person has no disability. I got the feeling that it was her and her husband that didn’t want to suffer and sacrifice their quality of life and ideal life raising a son that was disabled.

My heart just breaks for that child. The people who were supposed to love him the most and protect him the most, his mother and father, had him killed. Doctors, doctors who should be saving life, not taking it, recommended and participated in his murder.

[Harmless Teddy Bear]

Andrew and I talked long into the night, and finally agreed that ending the pregnancy was the kindest thing we could do for our son.

:sigh:

Why are people so eager to kill anyone who isn't "perfect"?

One of my former co-workers has spina bifida. She is in her late thirties and she has to wear braces but she walks. She and her husband adopted a little girl a couple of years ago. This world would be a sadder place without her in it.

I keep on thinking about the scene in "A Wrinkle in Time" where "IT" informs Meg that when someone has a cold they are killed because it was kinder then having them suffer through the sneezes and stuffy noses of a cold.

I wonder how far we are from that mindset.