Sometimes we’re differenet. Sometimes we’re alike. So what.
birds N bees ,,, time
bm
Women aren’t completely hopeless. If you have the patience and put in the time eventually they can be trained to get you a beer from the fridge.
Well, the math thing is true. I can’t do that sum.
We cover the “roles of the husband and wife” in one of many sessions.
It is interesting when “young” couples start with the idea that everything is 50/50 and they are equals in everything. We soon get to dabbling in details and help them sort out the expectations they might be better served with for the future.
I have a short speech I start the discussion with, Generally speaking:
Men will take action or make decisions based on facts and expected outcomes. Women will take action or make decision based on emotional impulse. This suits a two parent household well and is necessary. The mother will be a better nurturer because her first concern/instinct is the mental and physical health of her children. The father will be the better disciplinarian and character instructor because his first concern/instinct is the safety and development of the family (and child)now and in the future. It is natural of our species and often does not begin to take shape until we procreate. Many roles overlap and these roles are not set in stone. But it is important for your marriage and your lifelong relationship to understand there are important differences in the skills you have and the roles you will play. Be careful not to fall into the trap of who is more important. Respect, acknowledge and support each other in the others role. Inevitably, life and extenuating circumstances may force you to adapt and modify the roles you play. Never underestimate how important the role of your spouse is, else you'll find yourself trying to play all the roles by yourself. (or something to that affect).
If there was no difference between men and women, I wouldn’t bother getting married. I’d spend every weekend sitting on my couch in my T-shirt drinking beer and watching football.
The following was actually turned in by two of my English students: Rebecca (last name deleted), and Gary (last name deleted).
THE STORY:
(first paragraph by Rebecca) At first, Laurie couldn’t decide which kind of tea she wanted. The chamomile, which used to be her favorite for lazy evenings at home, now reminded her too much of Carl, who once said, in happier times, that he liked chamomile. But she felt she must now, at all costs, keep her mind off Carl. His possessiveness was suffocating, and if she thought about him too much her asthma started acting up again. So chamomile was out of the question.
(second paragraph by Gary) Meanwhile, Advance Sergeant Carl Harris, leader of the attack squadron now in orbit over Skylon 4, had more important things to think about than the neuroses of an air-headed asthmatic bimbo named Laurie with whom he had spent one sweaty night over a year ago. “A.S. Harris to Geostation 17,....”, he said into his transgalactic communicator. “Polar orbit established. No sign of resistance so far...” But before he could sign off a bluish particle beam flashed out of nowhere and blasted a hole through his ship’s cargo bay. The jolt from the direct hit sent him flying out of his seat and across the cockpit.
(Rebecca) He bumped his head and died almost immediately, but not before he felt one last pang of regret for psychically brutalizing the one woman who had ever had feelings for him. Soon afterwards, Earth stopped its pointless hostilities towards the peaceful farmers of Skylon 4. “Congress Passes Law Permanently Abolishing War and Space Travel,” Laurie read in her newspaper one morning. The news simultaneously excited her and bored her. She stared out the window, dreaming of her youth, when the days had passed unhurriedly and carefree, with no newspapers to read, no television to distract her from her sense of innocent wonder at all the beautiful things around her. “Why must one lose one’s innocence to become a woman?” she pondered wistfully.
(Gary) Little did she know, but she had less than 10 seconds to live. Thousands of miles above the city, the Anu’udrian mothership launched the first of its lithium fusion missiles. The dim-witted wimpy peaceniks who pushed the Unilateral Aerospace Disarmament Treaty through the congress had left Earth a defenseless target for the hostile alien empires who were determined to destroy the human race. Within two hours after the passage of the treaty the Anu’udrian ships were on course for Earth, carrying enough firepower to pulverize the entire planet. With no one to stop them, they swiftly initiated their diabolical plan. The lithium fusion missile entered the atmosphere unimpeded. The President, in his top-secret Mobile submarine headquarters on the ocean floor off the coast of Guam, felt the inconceivably massive explosion, which vaporized poor, stupid, Laurie and 85 million other Americans. The President slammed his fist on the conference table. “We can’t allow this! I’m going to veto that treaty! Let’s blow ‘em out of the sky!”
(Rebecca) This is absurd. I refuse to continue this mockery of literature. My writing partner is a violent, chauvinistic semi-literate adolescent.
(Gary) Yeah? Well, you’re a self-centered tedious neurotic whose attempts at writing are the literary equivalent of Valium. “Oh shall I have chamomile tea? Or shall I have some other sort of f*****g TEA??? Oh no, I’m such an air headed bimbo who reads too many Danielle Steele novels.”
(Rebecca) Asshole.
(Gary) Bitch.
(TEACHER) A+ - I really liked this one.
Women compare themselves to men, men compare themselves to God.
Differences? No, really, I hadn’t noticed. Differences. Men and women, different. Well, maybe, I guess. Women are the ones who want a man to be tender and loving and then date hairy, alcoholic bikers. Men are the ones who try to light farts with large-caliber handguns. Naw, we’re not really different. We’re all idiots.
Mostly, I want to be able to find stuff where I put it and I don't want to be awakened by somebody telling me what time it is. The stuff beyond that is even simpler.
But, NOOOOOOOO, that is 'way too much to ask.