We cover the “roles of the husband and wife” in one of many sessions.
It is interesting when “young” couples start with the idea that everything is 50/50 and they are equals in everything. We soon get to dabbling in details and help them sort out the expectations they might be better served with for the future.
I have a short speech I start the discussion with, Generally speaking:
Men will take action or make decisions based on facts and expected outcomes. Women will take action or make decision based on emotional impulse. This suits a two parent household well and is necessary. The mother will be a better nurturer because her first concern/instinct is the mental and physical health of her children. The father will be the better disciplinarian and character instructor because his first concern/instinct is the safety and development of the family (and child)now and in the future. It is natural of our species and often does not begin to take shape until we procreate. Many roles overlap and these roles are not set in stone. But it is important for your marriage and your lifelong relationship to understand there are important differences in the skills you have and the roles you will play. Be careful not to fall into the trap of who is more important. Respect, acknowledge and support each other in the others role. Inevitably, life and extenuating circumstances may force you to adapt and modify the roles you play. Never underestimate how important the role of your spouse is, else you'll find yourself trying to play all the roles by yourself. (or something to that affect).
Excellent speech.
Well said. Feminists are trying to undermine what is natural of our species, as you said, and has been the norm for many thousands of years. If at any point of our past human history, skills and roles were ever equal between the genders, then it has evolved into clear differences. I don't believe they were ever equal. It just is the way it is.
My wife and I tried to be equal when we got married over 37 years ago, but quickly learned to respect the differences. She defers to me as better in some tasks, and I defer to her in others. As you say, the male is driven by fact, the female driven by emotion. It has served us well in raising our children.