Iowahawk: Default, Dear Brutus, Is Not In Our Stars, But In Ourselves

Iowahawk | July 28, 2011 | David Burge

[EveningStar]

August 2 is but a few days away, and you know what that means: I need to buy mom a birthday card. Also THE COMMENCEMENT OF THE BUDGETARY MELTDOWN END DAYS WHERE WE FACE FINAL ARMAGEDDON UNLESS WASHINGTON GETS ITS BAR TAB RAISED ANOTHER TRILLION. Or something.

I know the consequences of failing to do so are too horrible to contemplate, but I went ahead and contemplated them anyway. This resulted in a bunch of 140-characters-or-less prophecies for the Twitter hashtag #ConsequencesofDefault, which I have edited and compiled for your edification. If my inner Nostradamus is any guide, the post-apocalyptic future of August 3, 2011 looks grim indeed:

Continued

[EveningStar]

I'm temporarily handling the Iowahawk ping list while dighton is away.

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Please ping me to Iowahawk articles. Thanks. :)

[WhyisaTexasgirlinPA]

Great, as always.... my favorite:

Chaos reigns at Goldman Sachs, who no longer knows who to bribe with political donations.

[Lonesome in Massachussets]

With the Dept of Ed shuttered, national school quality plummets to 1960s levels.

Cannot happen soon enough.

[secret garden]

Love it.

Beltway policy experts begin living by own wits; after 45 minutes there are no survivors.

[Tex-Con-Man]

"No longer protected by government warning labels, massive wave of amputations from people sticking limbs into lawn mowers."

[RightGeek]

Breadlines teeming with jobless Outreach Coordinators, Diversity Liaisons, and Sustainability Facilitators

Faster, please!

[bksanders]

Gooood stuff! So I, the Marxist Dance Theorist, am seen walking away from my Chevy Volt, Mohair amess, humming my zitherless Cowboy poetry only to find the tram to Iowa City defunct. Bummer, dude, I’m writing my congressman!

[Liberty Valance]

bump! Iowahawk resurges after his spacement flood ...

[EDINVA]

Such stiff competition!

I rather favor:
“Nation’s freeway exits croweded with desperate bureaucrats waving ‘will regulate for food’ signs.”

[WhyisaTexasgirlinPA]

Yes, indeed another good one!

[Free in Texas]

Iowahawk nails it again!