Posted on 05/11/2011 7:38:23 AM PDT by Kaslin
It's a tough time for President Obama. He's worked long and hard at cultivating a nuanced, thinking-man's presidency, and now he's getting praise for shooting a terrorist in the head? What a guttural, simplistic thing to receive acclaim for; it's the sort of thing a NASCAR fan would cheer on. It's like how Sir Alec Guinness received more attention for a few lines he spat out in some B-movie schlock instead of for his more substantial acting rolls. Obama worked long and hard on the millions of jobs he saved and created -- special jobs that only people with advanced economic degrees can see -- but the common man didn’t notice. People want mindless action instead, and now everyone is cheering over some "bad guy" getting shot and barely caring about the respectful, Islamic burial at sea that Obama was much more proud of.
Let's face it: Regular people just don't get the Obama presidency. It's too intellectual for them. Everyone keeps asking why Obama doesn't focus on jobs and the economy and why he won't reduce the budget, but that's like watching an Ingmar Bergman film and asking where are the explosions, CGI effects, and giant robots punching each other. Obama is not about simplistic things like helping the economy -- things any idiot president can do. Instead, his presidency is about much subtler, more nuanced achievements that only those with a keen intellect would perceive. Here are the top ten accomplishments of his presidency so far -- things small minded people who rejoiced in Osama bin Laden's death probably missed:
PRESIDENT OBAMA’S TOP TEN ACCOMPLISHMENTS
10. Avoided international embarrassment by making sure the first thing he did whenever he met a monarch was bend over and check his shoelaces.
9. Reduced the efficacy of the nation's pedophiles by making sure fewer of them can afford a creepy van.
8. Gave great prominence to the previously obscure occupation of birth certificate analysis.
7. Solved the problem of there being fewer and fewer people each year with the valuable experience of having lived through the Great Depression.
6. Put together his IKEA desk he got for the Oval Office in a creative, non-standard way that used all but three of the pieces.
5. Helped accelerate our debt towards $100 trillion, at which point all those debt counters should roll over to zero.
4. Made a subtle comment on the futility of trying to control the economy with his absurdist responses of "high-speed rail" and "windmills" to economic concerns.
3. Got America to spend less time in front of the TV by interrupting primetime shows with speeches no one wanted to watch.
2. Came up with a creative solution to rising gas prices by making sure fewer people need to expend gas driving to a job.
1. Demonstrated the pointlessness of wealth by having the government spend trillions of dollars to no noticeable effect.
See, what Obama has achieved for this country is complex and nuanced. If you just want some boring president who will help reduce unemployment and thinks shooting terrorists in the head is an achievement worthy of his intellect, look elsewhere, dullard.
It’s too intellectual for them?.....Ha!
Just open your wallet and watch all those moths fly out!
I like this list
Hey I take offense at this posting!
I am a NASCAR fan (since 1969 at least).
While I did like his role in Star Wars, Alex Guiness’ lines in All at Sea, Captain’s Paradise and Murder By Death were also quite good. In fact, his comedic roles were his best work.
All the other stuff about Obama is ok. Cary on.
Yeah, I do too. I emailed it to my e-pal list
finaly a post worth reading,,kudos
Not surprised that the Lefties would call a Con Man a “thining-man”
Yeah he’s always thinking of ways to CON the American people.
thanks
He also brought the nation together in laughing at anyone who disagrees with any piece of his agenda.
It’s the whole “What’s the Matter With Kansas” idea. That concept is that people in Kansas vote Republican and vote against their own economic interests in doing so. And the good citizens of Kansas don’t know any better so they vote Republican. They aren’t sophisticated enough to know that they should be good Democrats. Or so that theory goes.
Apparently those Americans are not so “simplistic” that this author and the MSM can make Obama stinking economy and freedom-stealing big brother grabs look appealing.
Hey! It takes hard work and dedication to suck this hard.
Free Republic Runs ONLY On Your Donations.
Make Yours NOW and End the FReepathon!
We too dumb.
Quick, someone mail off the top ten list to Lettterman. I’m sure he’ll want to get it on the air.
no
Don’t forget to note the great list of accomplishments. Maybe you can think of a few to add.
We'll be there in no time! Woohoo!
Simplistic Americans never "got" Fidel's achievements either.
Simplistic Americans never "got" Mao's achievements either.
Simplistic Americans never "got" Stalin's achievements either.
Simplistic Americans never "got" Pol Pot's achievements either.
What's the beef?
Barack Hussein is in great company!
< /sarc >
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