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New TSA Slogans
Vanity

Posted on 11/22/2010 2:36:45 PM PST by safetysign

Grope discounts available.

Can't see London, can't see France, unless we see your underpants.

If we did our job any better, we'd have to buy you dinner first.

Only we know if Lady Gaga is really a lady.

Don't worry, my hands are still warm from the last guy.

Throw a few back at the airport Chili's and you won't even notice.

Wanna fly? Drop your fly.

We've handled more balls than Barney Frank

We are now free to move about your pants

We rub you the wrong way, so you can be on your way.

It's not a grope. It's a freedom pat.

When in doubt, we make you whip it out.

TSA: Touchin', Squeezin', Arrestin'

You were a virgin.

We handle more packages than the USPS

The TSA isn't silly, they just want to inspect your willy

Stroke of the hand, law of the land

No Shirt, No Shoes, No Problem

Let your fingers do the Walking

Cough

Reach out and touch someone

Can you feel me now?


TOPICS: Culture/Society; Government; Miscellaneous; News/Current Events; Politics/Elections
KEYWORDS: chainemail; chat; duplicate; vanity
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1 posted on 11/22/2010 2:36:46 PM PST by safetysign
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To: safetysign

“No, you can’t have a cigarette now!”


2 posted on 11/22/2010 2:39:18 PM PST by Ronin ("Dismantle the TSA and send the screeners back to Wal-Mart.")
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To: safetysign

I love this post soooooooooooooooo much.


3 posted on 11/22/2010 2:39:18 PM PST by Velvet_Jones
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To: safetysign

“Heavy breathing, optional!”


4 posted on 11/22/2010 2:40:31 PM PST by Ronin ("Dismantle the TSA and send the screeners back to Wal-Mart.")
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To: safetysign
Same thread with 67 comments posted here
5 posted on 11/22/2010 2:41:09 PM PST by Servant of the Cross (NPR: Air America with government funding to keep them alive)
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To: Ronin

“The Good Hands People!”

(Apologies to Allstate, which might want to change its slogan.)


6 posted on 11/22/2010 2:42:27 PM PST by Ronin ("Dismantle the TSA and send the screeners back to Wal-Mart.")
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To: safetysign

They should co-opt the Yellow Pages slogan: TSA let OUR fingers do the walking....

TSA...We know what about the junk in your trunk....LOL


7 posted on 11/22/2010 2:42:32 PM PST by jakerobins
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To: jakerobins

What are we going to do when TSA finds out that the tongue is the most sensitive touch organ in the human body?


8 posted on 11/22/2010 2:44:11 PM PST by Ronin ("Dismantle the TSA and send the screeners back to Wal-Mart.")
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To: safetysign

‘We Watch Your Crotch’


9 posted on 11/22/2010 2:44:22 PM PST by screaminsunshine (Americanism vs Communism)
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To: safetysign

TSA = Tough Sh*t America


10 posted on 11/22/2010 2:44:47 PM PST by JEC ((Pray for ALL our troops))
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To: safetysign
TSA: The Audacity of Grope


11 posted on 11/22/2010 2:45:02 PM PST by SparkyBass
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To: safetysign

This is going viral around the Internet and the TSA is the topic of every talk show on the radio today. We The People calling in are big-time angry. Apparently, November 2nd wasn’t loud enough for this Regime and this Congress to get our message. Sanity and common sense is in short supply in DC and in state governments everywhere.


12 posted on 11/22/2010 2:46:13 PM PST by ExTexasRedhead
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To: safetysign
Don't worry, my hands are still warm from the last guy.

LOL...urrrp. One of my faves on another site was, "We don't like touching you either, but it beats having to urinate on the passengers to show our dominance."

Actually, some of the TSA people are perfectly nice and certainly didn't sign on to do something like this. The problem is not the individual TSA employees, it's the whole insane policy.

13 posted on 11/22/2010 2:48:19 PM PST by livius
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To: safetysign
And for the Las Vegas flights: “You alopin’? We a gropin’.”
14 posted on 11/22/2010 2:48:36 PM PST by 5thGenTexan
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To: safetysign

Well done. :)


15 posted on 11/22/2010 2:50:21 PM PST by trisham (Zen is not easy. It takes effort to attain nothingness. And then what do you have? Bupkis.)
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To: safetysign
Rape is just a second term away.

16 posted on 11/22/2010 2:50:33 PM PST by I see my hands (How's that ballot box working out for you?)
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To: ExTexasRedhead

Humor sometimes is the best weapon. But we’ve got to make sure it goes further and people don’t just laugh and then say, ok, I guess I’ve got to do it.

NOBODY should have to be subjected to this...well, except people who could be identified the way the Israelis identify them...by profiling.


17 posted on 11/22/2010 2:52:23 PM PST by livius
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To: safetysign

underpants optional


18 posted on 11/22/2010 2:53:07 PM PST by AngelesCrestHighway
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To: safetysign

* We feel your pain.
* You give us the finger and we’ll give you ten.
* We’ll get cashmere while you get felt.


19 posted on 11/22/2010 2:53:06 PM PST by reagan_fanatic (Scratch a “progressive” and a fascist bleeds)
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To: safetysign
Along with the new slogan, maybe a cute mascot?

(Apologies to Betty Crocker)


20 posted on 11/22/2010 2:53:13 PM PST by ZOOKER ( Exploring the fine line between cynicism and outright depression)
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