10 Things Movies Teach Us About Virus Outbreaks

Den of Geek ^ | 4/29/09 | Ron Hogan

[Malone LaVeigh]

In case you haven't heard, we're all going to die. You, me, everyone we know, and possibly all our pets are all doomed to die from the latest in a long line of fatal pandemics, the swine flu. The experts are on TV every day relaying pant-soiling fact after pant-soiling fact about the upcoming apocalypse. I, for one, look forward to dying from swine flu, just like I died from bird flu in 2006 and SARS in 2003.

Fortunately for me, I'm prepared for the upcoming viruspalooza. You see, I've watched dozens of virus-related disaster films, and I am as well prepared as anyone to survive any virus outbreak. I know how viruses work, I know how to combat them, and I know what symptoms to look for when someone I know gets infected. In order to expedite the rebuilding of civilization after the fall, I'll pass those tips along to you, the Den Of Geek reader, so that we may unite as one and get the Internet running again as fast as possible once the outbreak has run its course.

[Malone LaVeigh]

Forewarned is forearmed! ;-)

[bill1952]

just like I died from bird flu in 2006 and SARS in 2003.

forgot the 1976 swine flu?

[yankeedame]

Good point! Seems to me the CDC and particularly the MSM have been crying "wolf" wwaayy too often.

[Man50D]

Brace yourselves people. There has already been seven deaths worldwide!

[Kartographer]

What they teach us is that usually these things aren't acts of God, but the government screw-ups, so why should the real thing be any different!

"The wind had picked up again, it made strange hooting sound in some empty doorway, and farther away he thought he could hear bootheels pacing off the night, rundown bootheels somewhere in the foothills coming to him on the chilly draft of this early morning breeze. Dirty bootheels clocking their way into the grave of the West."

King-'The Stand'

[Salamander]

I’m not worried.
I keep having dreams of a sweet blind old black woman in Nebraska who offers me cornbread.

[yankeedame]

From the article:

• 1. All viruses have a characteristic delivery system.
• 2. Science is always important.
  ("Either science is directly responsible for your virus outbreak...or science is completely ineffectual...")
• 3. Viruses do awesome things to those infected in terms of their physical abilities.
• 4. Viruses always make people 1000 percent more badass.
• 5. The virus will kill everyone except for a plucky band of survivors.
  ("...One of these survivors will have a dog, and one will be a child. The group will reflect an ethnically and racially diverse cross-section of society....")
• 6. There will always be a perfect hiding spot, and you will always somehow end up in that location.
• 7. There will always be two people in your group.
  (..."One of these people you won't get along with.... The other person will be quiet, unassuming, and usually very dangerous..."
• 8. Here's the other crucial member of your group to watch out for, but he's a lot easier to spot than the psychopath.
  ("...one member of your group will always sacrifice him or herself so that the important members of the survivor corps can get away..to make up for his or her previous behavior..)
• 9. Civilization will instantly turn back to normal once the cure for the virus has been discovered.
  ("...Viruses never mutate or change in any way once it kills people, so once you're immune...you're home free..."
• 10. The new world post-virus will be a utopia.

[blu]

The writer forgot the most important thing for these killer disease epidemics. Music. Everybody knows apocalypses are always accompanied by a killer rock ‘n roll soundtrack.

So, we better get started on that. I suggest we start with Jimi Hendrix’s Star Spangled Banner (you just know that any movie that starts or features that spells doom for the US.)

Oh, rules for this: No “Five for Fighting” allowed on this list-I like that guy!

So, moving on...Bowie’s “Changes” would be good. And probably some mellow guitar stuff, to represent middle America (women and children affected most). No Clapton, I like him, too!

So, ya’ll fill in the blanks, and I’ll tell you how the movie/epidemic ends: Toby Keith’s “It’s the American Way” plays.

Remember, refuse to participate in this flu epidemic unless the music is good!

(Can you tell I’m not all shakin’ in my boots about this? Wonder what Obammy’s other hand is doing now!)

[gunnyg]

See US History BioWar, Germ Waefare, etc.

http://gunnyg.wordpress.com/2009/04/29/re-germ-warfare-biowar-etc/

[blu]

Only in the book, the walkin’ dude was white.... And in the movie, he was HOT!

[A Texan]

Well crap, my dreams seem to be telling me to go to Vegas.

[Kartographer]

I am not worried either, but when ‘Zero’ takes ‘Air Farce One’for a extended trip to ‘Vegas’ I am heading for Boulder!

[I Buried My Guns]

King- "The Stand"

I do not condone Mr. King's politics, but that book may very well be the Great American Novel.

Everything I learned about human nature I got from that book, as well as my early distrust of government.

[Salamander]

Yo, Walkin’ Dude...ya might wanna pick this one up on your way out...;-D

[Salamander]

Oh, great.

Our “refuge” will be a liberal hell hole.

;-D

[Kartographer]

Yea I remember Nadine thought he was HOT! If you remember Randall Flagg was able to be all things to all people. I just hope the DHS doesn’t throw me in jail anytime soon, I’m not a big fan of ‘Jailbird Tartare’!

[SJSAMPLE]

#8, in using “CJ” as an example, was dead wrong.

CJ wanted to keep “the wrong people” (the infected) out.
And, what happens as soon as the idiot survivors gained the upper hand and locked CJ up?

Right! Infected people got in.

CJ was the bad-ass of that movie, bar none.

He also went out in the best way.

Whiny liberal Canadian chick should’ve bought it.
Skank was a lefty, anyway.

[Salamander]

That book was inspired.

It was his Magnum Opus.

Everything he ever wrote *after* that paled by comparison.

Sometimes, I wonder if he wasn't used as an incidental “prophet”.

[too bad he went completely loony tunes later in life]

[Salamander]

I was horrified by the choice of actor for Flagg in the movie.

In my mind, as I read the book, I pictured the eternally-febrile, inappropriately grinning-mad Martin Sheen in the role.

Did you know that Christopher Walken was considered?

Now *that* would been great....:)

[Kartographer]

In several interviews I read King says of all his works he gets the most questions about 'The Stand'. Also isn't it odd that this one book out of all the novels that he has written that this one is so different in content and style. I would think it would be a excellent novel for study in any Christian School.

"The Lord moves in mysterious manner at times, using strange methods and odd instruments."