Gordon Brown pledges new measures on knife crime after four die in 24 hours

Telegraph ^ | 11/07/2008

[george76]

Gordon Brown said the attacks were "shocking and tragic" as he also promised the first ever "cross-government youth crime plan" would be published later next week.

A teenager was among four victims of separate fatal stabbings which took place in London over the past day, as a fifth man fights for life.

[Mark]

he also promised the first ever "cross-government youth crime plan"

Wow! That sounds really cool...............To a weeny LIBERAL.

[dsc]

“Hey Gordon, the knife’s just an implement, a tool. The criminal is the weapon.”

“Quemadmodum gladius neminem occidit, occidentis telum est.” (A sword is never a killer; it is a tool in the killer’s hands.)
Lucius Annaeus Seneca, circa 45 AD

[Alouette]

When will we hear about “fork crime” and “spoon crime”?

[Drew68]

if only all knives were illegal,

It's going to come to that. Seriously. Our cousins across the pond are going to be cutting their steaks with the side of a spoon.

[GnuHere]

Wow, Gordon, it’s gonna take a lot of guns to stop all these knife crimes!
Don’t get me started about the polo mallets!!

[ken21]

lol!

and speaking arabic.

[Paladin2]

"cutting their steaks with the side of a spoon"

Isn't high quality SPAM easily cut with a spoon?

[Chickensoup]

If they had more responsible, law abiding, armed men about this would not happen so frequently. The Brits have disarmed themselves on behalf of the barbarians in their country and now they will pay the price.

They British have become either cowed quislings or barbaric jerks. What a sad ending to a proud heritage.

[RetSignman]

Hey, have you ever been glorked with a spork, it HURTS, man!!

[RetSignman]

What about those women with three inch fingernails?...fingernail crimes.

[riverrunner]

I guess they have no grinders or files there.

I guess they have no hard thick plastic or plate glass and tape there.

I guess they have no hard wood that is capable of being formed and sharpened.

Just plain idiots.

[NewJerseyJoe]

James Clavell never wrote a novel called Hong Kong. Perhaps you are thinking of Tai-Pan or Noble House.

[marktwain]

I am sure that Gordon Brown has a reasonable measure in mind. Perhaps knives can be limited to one per village, chained to a large metal slab so that the village people can cut whatever meat and vegetable that need to, but they will not have those dangerous homicidal implements in their homes!

I hear it worked in Japan, many years ago...

[Dr.Zoidberg]

I dunno, I maybe going out on a limb here, but I expect a large electric van with double reinforced steel walls, armed guards and a motorcycle escort to bring a mostly blunt block of soft plastic attached to a chain attacked to a guard, attacked to the van.

With lights and sirens blaring of course...

He will come and wave the plastic at you and say “Gnaw the damned carrot in two! No one uses a knife, no way no how! And get that scowl off your face or you’ll be locked up for attempted intimidation of a public official and thought crime!”

Then he will be on his way to the next piece of rope or celery that has to be separated into smaller parts. (cutting of course will be illegal in word and deed.)

[TigersEye]

Does Britain

[marktwain]

“He will come and wave the plastic at you and say “Gnaw the damned carrot in two! No one uses a knife, no way no how! And get that scowl off your face or you’ll be locked up for attempted intimidation of a public official and thought crime!”

---

Given the way that bureaucracies carry out policies, you are probably correct. The guy in the van would also carefully avert his eyes from the "yute" with a homemade cutlass thrust through his belt, in certain parts of the town.

[Dr.Zoidberg]

The guy in the van would also carefully avert his eyes from the "yute" with a homemade cutlass thrust through his belt, in certain parts of the town.

Certainly, he wouldn't want to be seen as anything but accommodating to the "asian" guest in his country.

Anything less would be uncivilized...

[Chode]

Right!!! Well then... henceforth, all things sharp will be banned, and all things pointy shall also be banned, and anything that is sharp AND pointy is right out!!!

Also, things that are blunt are banned, and things that are heavy are banned, and things that are blunt AND heavy are RIGHT OUT AS WELL!!!

Well, lets see... that about cover it then???

[Paladin2]

Guess Merry ol’ England will have to do without glass windows. That material is too dangerous to leave in the hands of the potential state militias.

[Chode]

yup... it's to the point that i fart in their general direction