[Jack Hammer]

I happen to know for a fact that a dissident group of aliens from the planet Alpha Centauri 4, in league with immortals from Peru who, several centuries ago, travelled here in prehistoric space craft, put out a contract on the president utilizing signals written in the form of crop circles. That contract was fulfilled by Freemasons, who had predicted the whole thing in a document referenced in the works of Leonardo DaVinci and subsequently printed in invisible ink on the back of the Declaration of Independence. The reason I know this is that the aliens told me themselves, in broadcasts which I receive via the fillings in my teeth. It fulfilled a prophecy made ages ago in the very secret Gospel of Melvin, which was found in Qumran, but which has been suppressed by a covert organization composed of the descendents of King Arthur - who feel that the information it contains is too controversial for Mankind until after the Great Transformation of human nature due in the year 2052, after which all will be revealed.

[jrd]

I happen to know for a fact that a dissident group of aliens from the planet Alpha Centauri 4, in league with immortals from Peru who, several centuries ago, travelled here in prehistoric space craft, put out a contract on the president utilizing signals written in the form of crop circles. That contract was fulfilled by Freemasons, who had predicted the whole thing in a document referenced in the works of Leonardo DaVinci and subsequently printed in invisible ink on the back of the Declaration of Independence. The reason I know this is that the aliens told me themselves, in broadcasts which I receive via the fillings in my teeth. It fulfilled a prophecy made ages ago in the very secret Gospel of Melvin, which was found in Qumran, but which has been suppressed by a covert organization composed of the descendents of King Arthur - who feel that the information it contains is too controversial for Mankind until after the Great Transformation of human nature due in the year 2052, after which all will be revealed.

man that has to be true!

[Rte66]

Oh, man, I dated a guy from Alpha Centauri when I was in college. But, ummm, it was in Dallas. However, Kennedy was already dead by 5 years. They *said.*

[uglybiker]

ALERT! This one can see!

[Eighth Square]

Now, that is the first and undoubtedly the most courageous presentation of the facts surrounding the actual events leading up to and occurring, on that fateful day. Well done and I'm glad it's finally cleared up!

[fuzzthatwuz]

Thank you very much for clearing this matter up. I have been awaiting the time someone would step up to the plate and confirm my observations!

s/ Dennis Kucinich

[mark_interrupted]

that was good.:)

[grey_whiskers]

DING DING DING DING DING DING DING DING DING DING!

NO more calls, please.

We have a winner!

And a bonus set of undocumented gay whales who fight global warming...