Aging and Gay, and Facing Prejudice in Twilight

New York Times ^ | October 9, 2007 | Jane Gross

[-=SoylentSquirrel=-]

The dirty little secret of the (male) gay world is that once you are past your prime physically, your street value declines very quickly. There is always a boy younger and hotter than you, ready to take your place, and gays are notorious for always wanting to "trade up". As an intimite observer of male gay behavior for the last several years, I got a kick how the younger, firmer gays derisively belittled the older ones as "wrinkled and gross", then were horrified that the next year they were themselves were mocked by gays who themselves were younger and firmer.

Maybe it is because gays are so catty, but I see them ride the popularity wave as long as possible, with an attitude of "I don't need anybody, I'm young and hot, everyone wants me, No need to be nice to the lessers" but then find themselves cast out due to their failing attractiveness. Then their attitude becomes "life is so unfair, all they care about is looks, can't they see me for more than that?", when it was they who perpetuated that very same value not much earlier.

It is a repeating pattern of sadness and loss.

[Fishtalk]

This story is soooooo....

Of course the ladies at the beauty parlor will love it. They will tear up and as a group vow to be kinder to the gays and lesbians they know.

The NY Times counts on this.

It’s a national Oprah moment.

[jagusafr]

We live with the conduct and associations we choose. Unfortunately, “love the sinner and hate the sin” is harder to live by than ostracism.

[freekitty]

Maybe she shouldn’t have chosen that lifestyle.

[caseinpoint]

“this story which to me does not pass the smell test.”

I agree. First off, most if not all these problems are intrinsic in assisted living. Some workers are nice; some aren’t. Some residents are friendly; some aren’t. This article assumes that anything unpleasant that happens to them is because they are gay. It’s still all about them.

In nearly every situation where people meet and greet, some people feel uncomfortable or that they don’t “fit in”. It might be height, weight, hair color, lack of hair, race, religion, possessions, history, whatever. We all have things that attract and repel people. It seems that gays, however, tend to base so much of their identity on their sexual proclivities that anyone who isn’t totally accepting of them is assumed to be homophobic. It is very sad to be so wrapped up in just one tiny aspect of their lives, especially in their old age when proclivities decline in importance for everyone. They are the incredible shrinking gays whose primary identity is no longer that relevant.

[Fawn]

Ooopss.....http://www.zombietime.com/

[dforest]

Funny, I was thinking the same thing. They could even have double beds in there!

[jagusafr]

I have trouble with the concept of homosexuals being “who they are”. No, it’s not who they are, it’s what they’ve chosen to do, nothing more or less. Chosen behavior carries with it consequences, no matter what that behavior is.

[NKStarr]

>>She wants to “come out of the closet” with those of that era and feel welcome....she’s deluding herself in thinking legislation is going to change it.<<

Yes, precisely. The idea that federal lawmaking will change ingrained attitudes is a typical liberal delusion. The better answer is private enterprise - assisted living facilities targeted to elderly gay people. I rather suspect that could be a profitable enterprise.

[papertyger]

I understand exactly what you mean. I've seen the same thing with a homosexual man whose wife abandoned their two children with him, and later, his boyfriend.

Just goes to show you there is no one who is a completely bad person.

Unfortunately, homosexuals tend to resemble mohammedens. When they are small and weak, they mind their manners. When their numbers reach a critical mass, they make life hell for everyone else.

[ClearCase_guy]

I agree. They choose to have a lifestyle, I choose to disapprove of their lifestyle. They criticize my choice by pointing out that their choice cannot be criticized.

Boggles my mind.

[jagusafr]

“Unfortunately, homosexuals tend to resemble mohammedens. When they are small and weak, they mind their manners. When their numbers reach a critical mass, they make life hell for everyone else.”

Bravo - you made my “quote of the day” wall!

Colonel, USAFR

[2banana]

I’m sort of a “radical right winger” as they say about a lot of things, but I have a lesbian sister (I’m one of 6), and I am amazed at her life. She’s been in a monogamous relationship for over 20 years; they’ve adopted two boys, one of them was what you’d call a “serious risk” baby: abandoned, born to an addict in the ghetto, MAJOR fetal probs, etc. To see those boys grow up so well, to see them blossom under love and guidance, to see them so well-raised from such dangerous beginnings, I have to tell you I have become much more tolerant of folks’ sexual “identities.” My sister is a great - even an heroic - mom even if she’s a homosexual.

I agree - and she is a very rare exception to the homosexual lifestyle...

[Right Brother]

Even now, at 81 and with her memory beginning to fade,

I guess the old gay mare, she ain't what she used to be.

[John Leland 1789]

“I don’t want elderly homosexuals to be mistreated by care-takers or shunned by fellow residents, but federal legislation certainly is not the answer.”

---

We still believe in the freedom to associate with people of our own choosing. The “fellow residents” must be allowed the freedom to associate or disassociate with anyone they choose, and for traditional reasons, all the better. Let the sodomites be shunned by those who don’t want to associate with sodomites.

I have no sympathy whatsoever for anyone who announces that they have a wicked, perverted view of life and God’s creation, and expects others just to tolerate that. Back in the closet with them(!) instead of setting up a society where they take over whole streets and communities with their filth. RE-ENACT ANT-SODOMY LEGISLATION as it existed prior to WWII.

[reaganaut1]

‘The dirty little secret of the (male) gay world is that once you are past your prime physically, your street value declines very quickly. There is always a boy younger and hotter than you, ready to take your place, and gays are notorious for always wanting to “trade up”.’

Much of this could be said about heterosexuals, too. My wife and I have 3 little kids, so we now have more important criteria by which to judge each other. Hmm, maybe intimate human relationships need more than lust to be stable.

[EEDUDE]

“I have to tell you I have become much more tolerant of folks’ sexual “identities.””

I don’t have a problem with homosexuals. I have a REAL BIG problem with the “in your face attitude” of so many of them.

What they do in the privacy of their bedrooms should stay in their bedrooms.

I suspect I speak for many “homophobes”.

[poobear]

“...and you know the place will be kept spotless...”

BWAAAAHAAAHAAAHAAA ;D!

[HuntsvilleTxVeteran]

I would give that queer hell for misusing the word gay.

[STONEWALLS]

“When they say they want tolerance, what they mean is that they demand acceptance.”

....exactly!....and more than that they demand recognition of homosexuality as normal.