Posted on 09/29/2007 8:44:51 AM PDT by 2ndDivisionVet
Dear Otus, I classify myself as a proud Libratarian, and I always vote for the candidate who is the biggest gun supporter. I heard that last week Mike Huckabee spoke to an NRA convention and boasted about his gun collection. Do you have that information ? How about the other candidates ? I’ve always felt you can tell a lot about a candidate by the caliber of his gun. — Braun Werden Stuttgart
Dear Braun,
It was wholly a pleasure to hear from you and to add a hearty amen, brother.
Nobody gets elected in this country without a healthy respect for the Second Amendment. It’s the American way.
You are absolutely correct. Mike Huckabee did us all proud by being the first presidential candidate to lay out his love of gun sports and his sacred reverence for the right to bear arms.
Huckabee told a standing-room-only crowd that he owns a Browning, a Weatherby rifle and a Benelli for hunting ducks. He also said his very most favorite was an old 20-gauge shotgun that is so rusted it won’t fire anymore.
He had the crowd in the palm of his hand until he committed that last faux pas. The NRA is the last place you want to admit that you’ve allowed a shotgun to go to rust.
Huckabee played the nostalgia card by adding the old shotgun was the one he and his late father used to go hunting with when Mike was just a lad. They didn’t buy it.
He tried to recover by first joking, “I’m pretty sure there will be duck hunting in heaven,” then by mentioning the time he nailed an antelope from 250 yards in a one-shot contest in Wyoming.
Ouch. The room was full of real hunters, not those who needed a guide to lead them to the ambush spot and tell them when to shoot. Had he really wanted to score points, Huckabee would have admitted he’s really just a fisherman, but that his wife, Janet, can drill the eye out of a buzzard at 500 paces with a. 22. Having witnessed what happened to Huckabee, the other candidates scrambled and were quick to issue news releases on their own personal arsenals.
Democrats John Edwards: The former senator from North Carolina said he was a “good ol’ Southern boy” and still owned a Ranger single-shot, long-rifle. 22 he got on his 12 th birthday. He also has a brace of custommade Holland & Holland Royal Deluxe side-by-side shotguns that set him back $ 130,000. They were an investment, he said, and he didn’t realize he owned them until his broker mentioned it to him last month.
Barack Obama: The Illinois senator said he doesn’t do hunting, but sometimes carries a Glock 25 compact for street cred. He said he played paintball once, but didn’t like it. That got only a smattering of applause.
Hillary Clinton: The New York senator said she still cherishes the single-shot. 22 Hornet that Barry Goldwater gave to his top Goldwater Girls in 1964. “I hear it’s good for vermin,” she quipped. “Maybe I can nail some of the rats in the White House.” Nobody applauded.
Republicans Rudy Giuliani: Having once called the NRA “a bunch of wild-eyed fanatics with hairtrigger tempers,” the former New York mayor has tried to make amends with the purchase of a Savage Milano over/under 410. He says he’s partial to the Schnabel fore and hopes to kill some clay pigeons one day.
John McCain: The Arizona senator says he owns a Ruger Model 77 Hawkeye chambered for the. 358 Winchester cartridge. He takes the rifle along whenever he’s going after elk in British Columbia.
Mitt Romney: The former governor of Massachusetts told the NRA audience that he’s a pheasant hunter and never travels without his 12-gauge 870 Wingmaster for wild pheasant and a Wingmaster 28-gauge for preserve hunting.
Knowing the difference highly impressed the NRA attendees.
Fred Thompson: The former Tennessee senator and alleged actor came prepared. He said he was born in Alabama and reared in Tennessee, so hunting is in his blood. He never goes anywhere without his traveling gun collection.
He then pulled back a curtain to reveal an impressive array of antique and modern weaponry that caused the crowd to stand and cheer.
The guns ranged from a Belgian naval pistol circa 1813; to a Civil War era Model 1851 Springfield musket; a German Mauser Karabiner 98 kurz; a Kalashnikov AK-47 assault rifle (he has a permit ); to a modern M 4 with SOPMOD package, including Rail Interface System (RIS ) and Trijicon ACOG 4 x. The NRA convention delegates carried Thompson out on their shoulders. Thompson’s personal weapons exhibit is scheduled to be at the MacArthur Museum of Arkansas Military History in Little Rock from noon until 5 p. m. Sunday. Call ahead to confi rm. Until next time, Kalaka reminds you that admission may be free, but freedom never is.
Disclaimer: Fayetteville-born Otus the Head Cat’s award-winning column of humorous fabrication appears every Saturday. E-mail: mstorey@arkansasonline. com
bump.
ACK! What a moron.
It’s made up.
Opps. I’ll just slink away now. Thanks.
That’s gonna leave a mark
If he was using my 1937 Mosin-Nagant, it would have lasted a long time.
As a lover of Browning A-5s, I can get your drift.
He’ll probably not do that twice. :)
I thought it was real, till I read this, The Illinois senator said he doesn’t do hunting, but sometimes carries a Glock 25 compact for street cred.
Then I knew it was a fake.
I love Fred, but over and unders don’t go with red pickup trucks. He should borrow my Winchester model 1897.
There’s a varmin, Hillary, so shoot it!
Just gotta love Micheal Storey and Paul Greenberg, sometimes I miss the Arkansas Democrat Gazette.
Hunter is at the top,on the right, next to his son.
I know this is a phony story, but I did think the same thing when Huckabee was telling the story about the rusted shotgun!! Shame on him!! And I don’t think he ever really did say he ever went hunting, just owns a shotgun.
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