Posted on 04/11/2007 5:19:22 AM PDT by shrinkermd
ABSTRACT: In this meta-analysis of online dating and speed dating, we propose a corollary to the Flaw-O-Matic theory of romantic revulsion. Current research reveals that the Flaw-O-Matic, a mechanism in the brain that instantly finds fault with any potential mate, can be reoriented positively in certain conditions through a newly identified process, the Sally Field Effect.
...Just as Darwin could have predicted, the researchers have found that women are pickier than men. While men concentrate mainly on looks and will ask out a lot of women as long as they’re above a certain threshold of attractiveness, women focus on fewer prospects.
They’re less willing to date someone of another race. When using online services, they pay more attention than men do to a potential partner’s education, profession and income. They prefer taller men, but they’re willing to relax their standards for the Ron Perelmans of the world, as revealed in a study of more than 20,000 online daters by Gunter Hitsch and Ali Hortacsu of the University of Chicago and Dan Ariely of the Massachusetts Institute of Technology.
They found that a 5-foot-8 man was just as successful in getting dates as a 6-footer if he made more money — precisely $146,000 a year more. For a 5-foot-2 man, the number was $277,000. [For more of these trade-offs, see nytimes.com/tierneylab.]
...Being able to make this distinction in a four-minute speed date, the researchers write in the April issue of Psychological Science, “suggests that humans possess an impressive, highly attuned ability to assess such subtleties of romantic attraction. In fact, the need to feel special or unique could be a broad motivation that stretches across people’s social lives.”
(Excerpt) Read more at nytimes.com ...
The Sally Field effect seemed to center around to perfectionists finding something in common--chemistry.
Yet I see a lot of white woman/black man couples, but rarely see a white man/black woman.
Every interracial couple is made up of a man who’s willing to go out with someone of another race, and a woman who’s willing to go out with someone of another race.
“They found that a 5-foot-8 man was just as successful in getting dates as a 6-footer if he made more money — precisely $146,000 a year more. For a 5-foot-2 man, the number was $277,000.”
I think women tend to view dating only from the money angle.
When a women meets a new man the questions are based around, income, education and car. education and car are indicators of income. Also when they tell their friends of a new man they are dating the questions are based on these very same topics.
Not, does he treat you nice, is he caring, does he love you etc.
It is about the money.
I was recently datng a young lady and she started talking about prenups and that the man should allow for the wife to recieve money in the event of a splitup based on the number of years they spent together, sorta like a bonus plan I guess.
I expect a man would find that off-putting.
I have in my experiance found that bottom line it is about money.
If she's asking those questions, she's thinking about settling for you. That means you've already struck out with her in the love arena, so it's time to move on.
Excellent point.
It's fortunate that I fell for my FReepless spouse when I was too young and giddy to think things through, because he had nothing but debt. (And potential :-).
It is about the money.
Amen to that Bro’.
Between marriages, I was dating a young lady. She was marginally above my ‘threshold’ but...
Anyway, when she was convinced that ‘it’ was over, she sent me a bill for all the ‘gifts’ she had purchased for me - around $240.00. I broke all records writing out the check...
My wife and I were friends for a year or so before we started dating. While we were friends, she was dating a wealthy surgeon who at one point took her on a photo safari to Africa. She broke up with him soon after that because she realized one night while they were looking at the Southern Cross that she'd rather be sharing that view with me. She says marrying money would have been nice, for a while, but she's happier with someone who's good to her and who understands her quirks.
Yes we do, the other thing is some only ask about my business interests and never want to talk about anything else.
Seems to be that way to me too!
Amen to that!
You are 100% correct on the height thing. I’m 5’7” and ran into exactly the same thing. First question out of the box was “height?”. When I told them, I got the brush, often with a terse, “too short” (to which I replied, “and you’re too shallow”).
My wife is my height, and couldn’t care less about how tall I am.
I would not have sent her the money, I would have remind her they wer gifts from her to me.
The other thing they do is drop little hints at what nice gifts you can buy for them.
I usually ignore those hints and buy something that I would like to give them.
You should have asked her about her hourly rate, since that's what it seemed to comed down to.
Prenups are for older,established men and women.One could argue that when such couples marry one of the things that they would agree upon is that what they've accumulated individually before they met should remain the sole property of that person.
IMO,the younger a person is when he/she starts talking about prenups the more suspicious it is.
Deal breakers:
1. Man hands
2. Elmer Fudd laugh
3. Used toothbrush that fell in toilet
4. Got dumped by Newman
5. Likes Dockers commercial
I don’t understand the thing about height at all. I’m 5’10” and in the day dated guys anywhere from 5’4’ to 6’7” I never paid any attention to it. My husband is barely 2 inches taller tham me, I always wore 3+ inch heels.
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