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The night Hillary's funny bone went missing
Townhall.com ^ | 4 February 2006 | Kathleen Parker

Posted on 02/04/2006 12:42:34 AM PST by Aussie Dasher

WASHINGTON — Hillary blew it.

That was the instant reaction in the room where I watched Tuesday night's State of the Union address. It was such a simple thing, but the senator from New York missed her cue.

It was this: smile and show the nice people that you're a human being and that you have a sense of humor.

But no. When President George W. Bush tossed a valentine to her husband, former President Bill Clinton, the senator sat stone-faced, nary a crack in her facade.

Catty? Not at all. Shaken, perhaps, but not stirred.

Truthfully, I'm pulling for everyone deep down. I have no bone to pick with Hillary Clinton, no wish to see her stumble. But I admit to being fascinated and I watch her closely. I especially watch her when she's out of sight; listen when she's quiet. You learn a lot about people not just by what they say, but by what they don't say.

Or by what they don't do, where they don't show up. With a Clinton, no move is accidental. And she is, of course, considered the most likely Democratic candidate for president in 2008. Could she win?

Polls indicate that people are ready to support a woman for the highest office and that being female is no longer an obstacle. In fact, at this juncture, it may be an asset. Tipping points and all that.

Certainly, Clinton is qualified to be president. Smart and well-educated, she's fluent on issues and hard-working. She's also managed a difficult marriage in plain view and has raised a well-adjusted daughter whose success any parent would envy.

So what is it about Hillary that sets some people off? That thing — what is it?

I've had a hundred conversations with people who can't quite put their finger on the reason Clinton is such a lightning rod. Or why some dislike her with such visceral intensity. Many don't just disagree with her; they can't stand her.

Yet, by other accounts, people who know her love her. Those who have met her attest to her charm, intelligence and decency. There's nothing fundamentally wrong with Hillary Clinton, no critical resume gap.

She's not evil, obviously, but her enemies would have you think otherwise. Why?

The answer may have revealed itself during Bush's speech.

Clinton is surely self-aware enough to know that wherever she is, the camera will seek her out. Thus, her response to public events has to be measured, safe and controlled, if not studied. She's not going to be rearranging her skirt during the most important speech of the presidential year, in other words.

Predictably at such times, she doesn't show approval of the president's policies. Like other Democrats in the audience, she carefully selects when she'll applaud, when she'll stand. Sometimes members of the minority party display a little confusion.

Wait, we're life-affirming, right? I mean, we like life, but could we take that with just a sprinkling of stem cells?

Fine, stand up slowly, sit down quickly.

Inevitably, when Bush made the one light comment of the evening, which happened to make reference to her husband, the camera zoomed to Hillary Clinton. Her lips, painted crimson, were a bright beacon in a sea of dark suits.

Bush was discussing stresses to the Social Security system and mentioned that the first baby boomers were turning 60, including two of his father's favorite people. We're waiting to hear George and maybe Jeb Bush when he says, "Me and President Bill Clinton."

Badaboom! Pan to Hillary.

Nothing, nada, zip. Cheekbones bouncing light back to the fluorescent gods, her ruby lips a door slammed shut for all eternity to the minions of mirth. My mind immediately free-associates to the ancient vampires in Anne Rice's "Vampire Chronicles," who, cold and bloodless through the ages, had turned to stone.

Clinton was the sphinx the joker couldn't budge. If eyes could emasculate, Hillary's would send a man into the high octaves.

I don't know what was going through Clinton's mind in that moment, but her expression said, "Bug off," or sentiments to that effect. What we do know is that Bill Clinton would have loved it. And laughed. And reminded Americans of his humanness and his ready sense of humor.

His wife, by defining contrast, showed the world that she is something else. That thing — what is it? It is what she isn't: human, gracious and humorous.

Kathleen Parker is a popular syndicated columnist and director of the School of Written Expression at the Buckley School of Public Speaking and Persuasion in Camden, South Carolina.


TOPICS: Editorial; Government; News/Current Events; Political Humor/Cartoons; Politics/Elections
KEYWORDS: 109th; 44; clinton; georgewbush; hildebeaste; hillary; hitery; hitlery; kathleenparker; lesbian; moonbat; sotu; witchofwashington
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You've got to have a heart before you can have a sense of humour. Hitlery hasn't got either!
1 posted on 02/04/2006 12:42:37 AM PST by Aussie Dasher
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To: Aussie Dasher
Certainly, Clinton is qualified to be president.

Start with the big lie early. Maybe they can convince us by election day.

Nah. not likely.

2 posted on 02/04/2006 12:47:42 AM PST by adamsjas
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To: Aussie Dasher
Badaboom! Pan to Hillary. Nothing, nada, zip.

That's because she's a completely calculating politician--every single "random" action in public planned for effect on those who she knows are watching.

A random moment causes her to tense up for fear of doing the wrong thing. A human being would have chuckled--because it IS funny how the two former presidents are on TV seen as pals.

But a total politician was surprised by something funny said by The Enemy...and she didn't know how her fans would see her if she laughed. Yet, everyone around her was laughing...

You could almost see the "Program Not Responding" screen popping up. Looks like she sure did.

3 posted on 02/04/2006 12:51:16 AM PST by Darkwolf377
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To: Aussie Dasher
Kathleen Parker is a popular syndicated columnist and director of the School of Written Expression at the Buckley School of Public Speaking and Persuasion in Camden, South Carolina.

Her, tone, tenure, and grammar are horrible.

4 posted on 02/04/2006 12:52:36 AM PST by Cobra64
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To: Cobra64

He looks alright, though! LOL!


5 posted on 02/04/2006 12:54:54 AM PST by Aussie Dasher (The Great Ronald Reagan & John Paul II - Heaven's Dream Team!)
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To: Aussie Dasher
The only "smile" I noticed from Hillary while watching a replay of the SOTU was a disdainful, condescending one, often accompanied by an arrogant shaking of the head.

I thought her bahavior at the address was childish. As usual.

6 posted on 02/04/2006 12:59:01 AM PST by Allegra (You Won't Find the Meaning of Life in This Tagline....At Least Not Today.)
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To: Aussie Dasher

Hillabitch proved why she has so deservedly earned that nickname.


7 posted on 02/04/2006 12:59:15 AM PST by Socratic
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To: Aussie Dasher
The only "smile" I noticed from Hillary while watching a replay of the SOTU was a disdainful, condescending one, often accompanied by an arrogant shaking of the head.

I thought her bahavior at the address was childish. As usual.

8 posted on 02/04/2006 12:59:27 AM PST by Allegra (You Won't Find the Meaning of Life in This Tagline....At Least Not Today.)
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To: Aussie Dasher

Like Dennis Miller said that marriage is only one for convienance.


9 posted on 02/04/2006 1:00:18 AM PST by lndrvr1972
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To: Aussie Dasher

Hitlery is a political hack and nothing but a mouthpiece for George Soros and all the other extreme left-wing kooks.

10 posted on 02/04/2006 1:09:14 AM PST by charrisGOP ("Troubles are often the tools by which God fashions us for better things." --Henry Ward Beecher)
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To: Allegra
"I thought her bahavior at the address was childish. As usual."

Women see things and men sense things. Men ignore women that don't seem right. Hillary is one of them.

11 posted on 02/04/2006 1:13:32 AM PST by BobS
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To: Aussie Dasher

She's drunk with wanting power and angry that it's going to be a major uphill battle for her to achieve anything higher than the Senate. She's embittered that the extreme lefties are forcing her to straddle the fence in her own party between the anti-war farlefties and the so-called moderates. She's angry that she can't have more time off for her lesbian activities. She's covering up a lot of secrets and has to worry that something will slip at any time.

She's a humorless nutbag who can't ever be given the power to govern.


12 posted on 02/04/2006 1:18:27 AM PST by goresalooza (Nurses Rock!)
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To: Aussie Dasher; Darkwolf377
"Clinton was the sphinx the joker couldn't budge. If eyes could emasculate, Hillary's would send a man into the high octaves." ----

*****

"I think for me, the sickest and scariest kind of rage is the Hillary Clinton kind of rage. You know, the perpetual permafrost smile she wears that's hiding a well of fury deeper than Barry White's voice during a bout of pneumonia." -- Dennis Miller

13 posted on 02/04/2006 1:18:36 AM PST by beyond the sea (Cal Thomas: If only Robert Bork had cried ...................)
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To: Aussie Dasher
has raised a well-adjusted daughter

This author's ridiculous praise of Hillary's smarts and talents aside, how on earth does Parker know whether Chelsea is "well-adjusted"? Gossip column accounts of the unfortunate girl's frequent binges indicate otherwise.

14 posted on 02/04/2006 1:18:49 AM PST by M. Thatcher ( I truly hope for two things before I die. The death of the Democrat Party, and the death of Islam.)
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To: Darkwolf377
You could almost see the "Program Not Responding" screen popping up

Right.

15 posted on 02/04/2006 1:20:01 AM PST by beyond the sea (Cal Thomas: If only Robert Bork had cried ...................)
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To: Socratic

The Queen of Darkness


16 posted on 02/04/2006 1:20:45 AM PST by beyond the sea (Cal Thomas: If only Robert Bork had cried ...................)
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To: beyond the sea

Even worse than that!


17 posted on 02/04/2006 1:24:28 AM PST by nopardons
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To: Aussie Dasher
"So what is it about Hillary that sets some people off?"

Well, Ms Parker, you could start with the disrespect she shows for the established protocol in the White House.

Strict orders were given to the White House Staff that they were NOT, I say again, NOT to look the first (ahem) lady in the eye when she was present.

Then there was the issue of her making the elite Marine Guard serve as waiters.

All that when she was a nothing, just think of the Sheila Jackson Lee "Queen" complex she would have if she was CIC.

18 posted on 02/04/2006 1:28:53 AM PST by nightdriver
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To: beyond the sea

The comparison between her and Angela Lansbury's character in the Manchurian Candidate has always seemed apt.


19 posted on 02/04/2006 1:32:04 AM PST by Socratic
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To: Aussie Dasher
Yet, by other accounts, people who know her love her. Those who have met her attest to her charm, intelligence and decency.

OH REALLY?!!! WHAT A LOAD OF CRAP!! Here's what the Secret Service people who have 'met her' attest to: (Note: Excerpted.)

PRESIDENTIAL OBSERVATIONS BY THE SECRET SERVICE e-mail forwarded from a friend | 1/27/2006 | Observations by Dave Kulow

We had a neighbor when I lived in DC who was part of the secret service presidential detail for many years. His stories of Kennedy and Johnson were the same as those I heard from the guys who flew the presidents' plane.

Yes, Kennedy did have Marilyn Monroe flown in for secret "dates," and LBJ was a typical Texas "good ole boy" womanizer. Nixon, Bush 41, and Carter never cheated on their wives. Clinton cheated, but couldn't match Kennedy or LBJ in style or variety.

The information below is accurate: The elder Bush and current president Bush make it a point to thank and take care of the air crews who fly them around. When the president flies, there are several planes that also go one carries the armored limo, another the security detail, plus usually a press aircraft. Both Bush's made it a point to stay home on holidays, so the Air Force and security people could have a day with their families.

WHAT WAS:

Hillary Clinton was arrogant and orally abusive to her security detail. She forbade her daughter, Chelsea, from exchanging pleasantries with them. Sometimes Chelsea, miffed at her mother's obvious conceit and mean spiritedness ignored her demands and exchanged pleasantries regardless, but never in her mother's presence.

Chelsea really was a nice, kindhearted, and lovely young lady. The consensus opinion was that Chelsea loved her Mom but did not like her. Hillary Clinton was continuously rude and abrasive to those who were charged to protect her life. Her security detail dutifully did their job, as professionals should, but they all loathed her and wanted to be on a different detail. Hillary Clinton was despised by the Secret Service as a whole.

Former President Bill Clinton was much more amiable than his wife. Often the Secret Service would cringe at the verbal attacks Hillary would use against her husband. They were embarrassed for his sake by the manner and frequency in which she verbally insulted him, sometimes in the presence of the Secret Service, and sometimes behind closed doors. Even behind closed doors Hillary Clinton would scream and holler so loudly that everyone could hear what she was saying.

Many felt sorry for President Clinton and most wondered why he tolerated it instead of just divorcing his "attack dog" wife. It was crystal clear that the Clinton's neither liked nor respected each other and this was true long before the Monica Lewinsky scandal. Theirs was genuinely a "marriage of convenience."

Chelsea was much closer to her father than her mother, even after the Lewinsky scandal, which hurt her gravely. Bill Clinton did in fact have charisma, and occasionally would smile at or shake hands with his security detail. Still, he always displayed an obvious air of superiority towards them. His security detail uniformly believed him to be disingenuous, false, and that he did nothing without a motive that in some way would enhance his image and political career. He was polite, but not kind. They did not particularly like him and nobody trusted him.

WHAT COULD HAVE BEEN:

Al Gore was the male version of Hillary Clinton. They were more friendly toward each other than either of them were towards former President Clinton.They were not intimate, so please don't read that in. They were very close in a political way. Tipper Gore was generally nice and pleasant. She initially liked Hillary but soon after the election she had her "pegged" and no longer liked her or associated with her except for events that were politically obligatory.

Al Gore was far more left wing than Bill Clinton. Al Gore resented Bill Clinton and thought he was too "centrist." He despised all Republicans. His hatred was bitter and this was long before he announced for the Presidency. This hatred was something that he and Hillary had in common. They often said as much, even in the presence of their security detail.

Neither of them trusted Bill Clinton and, the Secret Service opined, neither of them even liked Bill Clinton. Bill Clinton did have some good qualities, whereas Al Gore and Hillary had none, in the view of their security details.

Al Gore, like Hillary, was very rude and arrogant toward his security detail. He was extremely unappreciative and would not hesitate to scold them in the presence of their peers for minor details over which they had no control. Al Gore also looked down on them, as they finally observed and learned with certainty on one occasion. Al got angry at his offspring and pointed at his security detail and said, "Do you want to grow up and be like them?"

Word of this insult by the former Vice-president quickly spread and he became as disliked by the Secret Service as Hillary. Most of them prayed Al Gore would not be elected President, and they really did have private celebrations in a few of their homes after President Bush won. This was not necessarily to celebrate President Bush's election, but to celebrate Al Gore's defeat

WHAT IS:

Everyone in the Secret Service wants to be on First Lady Laura Bush's detail. Without exception, they concede that she is perhaps the nicest and most kind person they have ever had the privilege of serving. Where Hillary patently refused to allow her picture to be taken with her security detail, Laura Bush doesn't even have to be asked, she offers. She doesn't just shake their hand and say, "Thank you." Very often, she will give members of her detail a kindhearted hug to express her appreciation.

There is nothing false about her. This is her genuine nature. Her security detail considers her to be a "breath of fresh air." They joke that comparing Laura Bush with Hillary Clinton is like comparing "Mother Teresa" with the "Wicked Witch of the North."

...

20 posted on 02/04/2006 1:38:03 AM PST by AmericaUnited
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