Online Contest: What does liberalism stand for - in one sentence of no more than 30 words

American Prospect ^ | 2/17/05

[JennysCool]

Absolutely!

Corn-fed.

[Varmint Al]

LIBERAL.... A liberal thinks that perjury and obstruction of justice is no crime if committed by IMPOTUS.
CONSERVATIVE.... A conservative believes that there should be equal justice under the law and no man is above the law.

LIBERAL.... A liberal believes the constitution is a tool to interpret/change to whatever they want it to say.
CONSERVATIVE.... A conservative respects the constitution and believes in preserving the original intent of the founding fathers.

LIBERAL.... A liberal uses feelings to come to a conclusion and then tries to use logic to justify the conclusion.
CONSERVATIVE.... A conservative weighs the facts of the arguments and then uses logic to come to the best conclusion.

LIBERAL.... A liberal knows you need help because he believes you can't get along without someone's help.
CONSERVATIVE.... A conservative will tell you, "Look, I made it. You can make it too."

LIBERAL.... A liberal judges the success of welfare by the number of people who receive it.
CONSERVATIVE.... A conservative judges the success of welfare by the number of people who no longer need it.

LIBERAL.... A Liberal wants you to be comfortable in your poverty. They will help you be conformable with welfare and food stamps, but you can't work.
CONSERVATIVE.... A Conservative wants you to be comfortable by helping you out of poverty and supporting yourself.

LIBERAL.... Liberals want to legalize marijuana.
CONSERVATIVE.... Conservatives want to legalize the concealed carry of hand guns.

LIBERAL.... Liberals used to listen to the Mario Cuomo talk radio program.
CONSERVATIVE.... Conservatives listen to the Rush Limbaugh, Sean Hannity, Neal Boortz, Lee Rodgers, Melanie Morgan, Matt Drudge, Roger Hedgecock, Ken Hamblin, GG Liddy, Alan Keyes, Oliver North, Mike Reagan, and many more on talk radio.

LIBERAL.... Liberals believe that a problem can be solved by forming a government program or agency to regulate it. Then, when the problem is not solved, it only because the government program was under funded.
CONSERVATIVE.... Conservatives believes that most problems are caused by government programs or agencies.

LIBERAL.... Liberals are liberal with other people's TAX MONEY.
CONSERVATIVE.... Conservatives are conservative with their OWN money.

LIBERAL.... A Liberal sees the discouraged and downtrodden, gives them a HAND-OUT and says, "Look what I just did!"
CONSERVATIVE.... A Conservative sees the discouraged and downtrodden, gives them a HAND-UP, and says, "Look what you just did!"

LIBERAL.... Liberals believe that animals have rights. You have to be aware to have rights. Animals don't and don't even know they don't have rights.
CONSERVATIVE.... My ancestors did not fight to the top of the food chain for me to become a liberal vegetarian!

LIBERAL.... Liberals refuse to believe what the Second Amendment says and try to pass laws against it.
CONSERVATIVE.... Conservatives want to legalize the concealed carry of hand guns. NO! It's already legal. It is right there in the Second Amendment.

LIBERAL.... Liberals believe in limiting personal freedom for the betterment/good/safety of the people as a whole.
CONSERVATIVE.... Conservatives believe, in the words of Ben Franklin, "He who sacrifices individual freedom for personal safety ends up with less of both and deserves neither.

LIBERAL.... If you're not a liberal when you're 25, you have no heart.
CONSERVATIVE.... If you're not a conservative by the time you're 35, you have no brain.

LIBERAL.... A dimpled chad, anywhere on a ballot, is a vote for Gore.
CONSERVATIVE.... A dimpled chad is evidence of vote fraud.

Good Hunting... from Varmint Al

[ken21]

don't think,

emote!

[Blood of Tyrants]

Here is what I sent them:

"Liberalism is a system of slavery where the producers are forced to work for the leeches in society, being forced to accept every perversion and nitwit idea that comes along. "

Thirty words exactly. I wonder what my chances are that it gets posted.

[since1868]

A tofu turkey in every pot

[Brett66]

From each according to his abilities, to each according to his needs.

[rlmorel]

Heh, thats just about out of "Atlas Shrugged"!

[piasa]

Liberalism- from each according to his abilities, to those who want to sit around and just ruthlessly exploit your efforts with our 'compassion.'

[TheForceOfOne]

Liberalism - Terrorisms last hope!

[supercat]

Heh, thats just about out of "Atlas Shrugged"!

Which part (I haven't read the book; I just compiled those from my own observations as a former liberal).

[Junior_G]

Liberalism is a philosophy that supports the undermining or destruction of traditional institutions in the never-ending pursuit of a socialist utopia that has never existed and never will exist.

[B-Chan]

Vox populi vox Dei est.

"Now the serpent was more subtle than any of the beasts of the earth which the Lord God had made. And he said to the woman: Why hath God commanded you, that you should not eat of every tree of paradise? And the woman answered him, saying: Of the fruit of the trees that are in paradise we do eat: But of the fruit of the tree which is in the midst of paradise, God hath commanded us that we should not eat; and that we should not touch it, lest perhaps we die. And the serpent said to the woman: No, you shall not die the death. For God doth know that in what day soever you shall eat thereof, your eyes shall be opened: and you shall be as Gods, knowing good and evil. " - Genesis 3:1-5

[Zman516]

Spread the misery evenly, comrad.

Nannyism is their religion; government, their God.

[judicial meanz]

In one word:

Totalitarianism

[untenured]

Iowahawk had some great suggestions.

A taste:

• Feel how this elevator is moving up? That's what Liberalism is about: moving people up. Hey you zombies, stop looking at the door! I'm talking to you! About Liberalism.
• Unlike jingoistic Conservatism, Liberalism is complex and very hard to boil down to thirty words or less, but I will: The essence of Liberalism is freedom. And progress. And... wait a minute. That first part doesn't count against the thirty word limit, does it? I'm sure there were some hyphenates, and think I used 'it' and 'in' a couple of times, so they really shouldn't count. C'mon dude, do-over.
• I'll tell you what it Liberalism doesn't stand for: Bush. And you can just take that to the bank, mister. Damn straight. Mmm hmm. Okay, how many words is that?

[rlmorel]

Just about the whole meaning of the book boiled down....not Number 1, but most definitely, 2,3,4 and 5!

[Blood of Tyrants]

LIBERAL.... Liberals are liberal with other people's TAX MONEY.

Tell me about it. I have challenged MANY liberals to put up their tax returns and compare my charitable giving against theirs ANY DAY. Their choice, percentage of income OR raw amount, I bet I gave more. I have never had a taker.

[Gritty]

Liberalism believes mankind can be perfected through human institutions and effort - just like Marxism does.

One is just a slower version of human murder and suicide than the other.

[cspackler]

The liberal agenda celebrates the right to life (affordable health care), liberty (privacy, freedom of religion) and the pursuit of happiness (education, equality between genders, races and creeds). --R.L.

Celebrates the right to life? What the hell has this moron been smoking? I did notice, however, that it was qualified as healthcare. Those little unborn children don't count, I guess.

[tet68]

Liberalism is the closed mind, thinking it is all encompassing in it's openness.
Liberalism is the closed mind, making sure others
thoughts are not acceptable.
Liberalism is the closed mind, or else.