Posted on 10/01/2004 2:28:54 PM PDT by pabianice
“Please stand by for a call from the President of the United States.”
*click*click*
“Hello, Jacques? It’s Jean Francois. How are you and how are things in Paris?”
“Fine, Mr. President, and you?”
“Listen: This Iran thing. The voters are giving me hell about Iran’s having mounted nuclear weapons on the No-Dong-III missiles they bought from North Korea with the money you paid them for oil. Just because they can ‘technically’ reach Japan, Hawaii, and the west coast of the US with 15kT warheads, some in the press are suggesting I’ve made the US less safe by having stuck with bilateral talks with them since 2005 and that they’ve been stringing me along until now, and then they go and pull this stunt.”
“Look, Jean. You can’t keep paying attention to those silly people in pajamas who write those ridiculous – what do you call them? – ‘bogs?’”
“That’s ‘blogs,’ Jacques, and no, I try not to pay any attention. Look. I wouldn’t be calling you if I wasn’t also having trouble with those damn Japanese and Taiwanese, too. They are demanding we honor the contract Bush made with Taipei for eight new submarines. They say without them, they can’t defend themselves against mainland China. Taipei is raising hell about my dragging my feet over this, especially since I’ve already OKed selling Beijing the technology for the AEGIS missile defense system and the Standard-III missiles that go with it. And Japan is still pissed about that Chinese Ming-class sub that gave them the finger off their own coast back in 2004. But look, the Chinese did help me win the election.”
“So why are you calling, mon ami?”
“Jacques, I need your support about acting on this Iran thing. I want your commitment to be part of the Global Consensus I talked about so much during the campaign. Just like the consensus we got from you and Germany and Holland to pull the Sixth Fleet away from Israel a few months ago after Hamas threatened to use chemical weapons in the subway systems in Hamburg and Amsterdam. I am sure the Palestinians and Israelis can work things out for themselves a lot better without the West leaning on them all the time. That’s so “1948.” So, can you get with Kofi in the next several days and talk over this whole Iran thing? I don’t want to be seen acting unilaterally…”
“I don’t know, Jean. The UN is still a bit sensitive about the criticism it got after those two million Iraqis were murdered after the U.S. and its allies pulled-out at the beginning of your term. Kofi may not want to engage another such sensitive issue at this time.”
“Look, Jacques, I’m in a bind here. The conservative press is screaming bloody murder about the loss of Puerto Rico to Columbia as well as this Iran missile thing, while my base is just as adamantly demanding that we don’t act without the approval of the international community of nations. Besides, I had to cut the military by 50% in order to pay for national health insurance. On top of that, you know that under the new rules The Sudan is heading the UN Security Council this month, and they are so easily offended. You remember how angry they were after Australia made such a big deal over their still keeping women and children as slaves, even after I told the Aussies I have been working on an international coalition to help end that unfortunate practice.”
“I’m sorry, Jean. I’d like to help, but as you know, France is in a very delicate situation now. With the money from the Oil for Food Program being shut off, I cannot afford to do anything at the moment that might cause further problems for La Belle France.”
“Look, Jacques, I’ve already called Berlin but they took a message and I’m waiting for the call-back. I don’t want to have to… uh, wait a minute… uh, yes…yes…missiles? …oh, crap! Look Jacques, the chairman of the Joint Chiefs has just come running in and I’m afraid I’m going to have to call you back…”
“So nice talking to you, Mr. President. I am sure we can arrange a meeting on this Iran missile thing sometime before the end of the year … you have France’s best wishes… goodbye…”
Oh the humanity.....all those poor dead kittens......
but not dead HAMPSTERS
Sent to my poor daughter, she has swithced sides due to watching MSM. I send her stuff in details about what has happend over the last two years or so. Perhaps your little scenario will bong something in her brain.........
good job.
Tell your daughter "THANKS for voting DEM".....It'll pay for our retirement....motor home, medical care, etc...../sarcasm.
Excellent!
Or worse............
Somehow over a period of time I will better educate her as to what conservatism verse liberalism means. She has not clue as what Lurch is, man wise, politician wise, triator wise, treason wise etc.. I have been sending her stuff for the past few months, often pages of facts I gather together from my mind. Perhaps she will see the light. To many women abhor war, and the snake obviously knows just what to say to make it appear he will somehow make it all go away.
hang in there all.
RED states keep building up blues turn to lightpink then light red, then hopefully to solid dark red.
I don't know what percent of voters are actually stupid or to ill informed to see the difference between GWB and Lurch, in a clear light, but hopefully we have the electoriate tied up at this point based on to date polls.
pabianice
ip568@charter.net
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