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Alexandra Kerry: Dad Gave Hamster CPR
NewsMax .com ^ | 7/30/04 | Carl Limbacher

Posted on 07/29/2004 9:33:18 PM PDT by kattracks

Would-be first daughter Alexandra Kerry revealed Thursday night that her father's habit of saving men overboard didn't end with his Swift Boat rescue of fellow Vietnam veteran Jim Rassman.

In a bizarre recollection, Alexandra told the Democratic Convention crowd how the family waited dockside one summer day to embark on a trip, when the cage housing her sister's hamster "Licorice" tumbled into the drink. "My dad jumped in, grabbed an oar, fished the cage from the water, hunched over the soggy hamster and began to administer CPR," the Kerry daughter told the audience. "There are still to this day some reports of mouth-to-mouth, but I admit it's probably a trick of memory."

Actually, the textbook definition of CPR is mouth-to-mouth resuscitation, though what techniques may be appropriate for hamster rescue is anybody's guess.

Too bad Sen. Kerry didn't have his trusty 8mm camera along to reenact his hamster heroism for posterity.



TOPICS: News/Current Events; Politics/Elections
KEYWORDS: dncconvention; hamsterhero; hamstersavior; kerry
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1 posted on 07/29/2004 9:33:20 PM PDT by kattracks
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To: kattracks

Which, I've got tell ya, is just the skill I'm looking for in a President!


2 posted on 07/29/2004 9:34:36 PM PDT by jpf
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To: kattracks

Is this the guy who believes that life begins at conception, but has no qualms about abortion?


3 posted on 07/29/2004 9:34:49 PM PDT by Paul Atreides
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To: kattracks

Look, my husband and I are boaters. Out of the 700 boats in our marina, I do not know of one person who takes their hamster with them on the water, "for a Sunday outing." Dogs, yes and one friend has a parrott, but no hamsters. Now come on, I just don't buy it.


4 posted on 07/29/2004 9:36:12 PM PDT by Toespi (,)
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To: kattracks

For those who believe in same sex marriage, this is a handy skill to have...


5 posted on 07/29/2004 9:36:34 PM PDT by gnarledmaw
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To: kattracks

Is Alexandra the film lady with the see-through dress? If so, I'd really like to give her CPR. I know she's Kerry's daughter and all, but dayum she's well built (all butterface though)...


6 posted on 07/29/2004 9:36:34 PM PDT by krb
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To: kattracks

"but I admit it's probably a trick of memory."

It must run in the family.


7 posted on 07/29/2004 9:37:11 PM PDT by Toespi (,)
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To: kattracks
Dad Gave Hamster CPR

Thus winning him the endorsement of the Hamsters Union.

8 posted on 07/29/2004 9:37:14 PM PDT by Charles Henrickson (Kerry is like that or so a crack sausage.)
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To: kattracks

Look for him to carry New Hamster.


9 posted on 07/29/2004 9:37:36 PM PDT by Charles Henrickson (Kerry is like that or so a crack sausage.)
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To: kattracks
I know its not about Edwards but I made this and wanted to post it..


10 posted on 07/29/2004 9:37:51 PM PDT by GeronL (geocities.com/geronl is back)
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To: kattracks

You just can't make up stuff like this.


11 posted on 07/29/2004 9:38:39 PM PDT by atomic conspiracy (A few words for the media: Julius Streicher, follow his path, share his fate.)
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To: Charles Henrickson

Charles, that is the best laugh I have had all night. Thanks for the humor, needed that!!!


12 posted on 07/29/2004 9:38:46 PM PDT by Toespi (,)
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To: cyborg

I know its a Kerry thread... but Edwards reminds me of a Hamster in a way.


13 posted on 07/29/2004 9:38:56 PM PDT by GeronL (geocities.com/geronl is back)
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To: kattracks

WELL HE JUST CLINCHED THE GAY VOTE


14 posted on 07/29/2004 9:39:23 PM PDT by longfellow
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To: Charles Henrickson
New Hamster... LOL

For balance, a message from the Kerry campaign:

Img src="http://www.photodump.com/direct/geronl/keanigif.jpg">

15 posted on 07/29/2004 9:40:21 PM PDT by GeronL (geocities.com/geronl is back)
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To: kattracks

He must have read "Rodential CPR: A Primer" by Richard Gere.


16 posted on 07/29/2004 9:40:30 PM PDT by gnarledmaw
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To: gnarledmaw

Lurch and his "special friend" wannabe Veep Smiley take turns sending rodent Mickey up the Hersey highway until the damn thing NEEDS a blow.


17 posted on 07/29/2004 9:41:03 PM PDT by troublesome creek
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To: GeronL

18 posted on 07/29/2004 9:41:14 PM PDT by GeronL (geocities.com/geronl is back)
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To: dead

This might be an appropriate thread for your gerbil photo.


19 posted on 07/29/2004 9:41:31 PM PDT by Sgt_Schultze
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To: atomic conspiracy
" You said.......You just can't make up stuff like this".

Yes they CAN!! They just DID!

20 posted on 07/29/2004 9:41:32 PM PDT by Claire Voyant ((visualize whirled peas))
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