Posted on 07/26/2004 8:14:30 AM PDT by TBP
What you must believe to be a Democrat:
1. Drug addiction is a disease that should be treated with compassion and understanding...unless the addict is a Conservative talk show host.
2. The United States should be subservient to the United Nations. Our highest authority is not God and the U.S. Constitution, but a collective of tinpot dictators (and their appeasers) and the U.N. charter.
3. Government should relax drug laws regardless of the potential for abuse, but should pass new and unConstitutional anti-gun laws because of the potential for abuse.
4. Calls for increased security after a terrorist attack are "political opportunism," but calls for more gun control after a criminal's spree killing is "a logical solution."
5. "It Takes a Village" means everything you want it to mean...except it mandates creeping socialist government involvement in the nuclear family.
6. Disarming innocent, law-abiding citizens helps protect them from evil, lawless terrorists and other thugs.
7. Slowly killing an unborn innocent by tearing it apart limb from limb is good. Slowly killing an innocent disabled woman by starving her to death is good. Quickly killing terrorists, convicted murderers and rapists is BAD.
8. Every religion should be respected and promoted in public schools the name of diversity, so long as that religion isn't Christianity.
9. The best way to support our troops is to criticize their every move. This will let them know they're thought of often.
10. Sexual harassment, groping and drug use are degenerate if you're the governor of California, but it's okay if you're the President of the United States.
11. Sex education should be required so that teens can make informed choices about sex, but gun education should be banned because it will turn those same teens into maniacal mass-murderers.
12. Minorities are blameless for the hatred of the racist; women are blameless for the hatred of the rapist; but America is entirely at fault for the hatred of Islamofascists.
13. Poverty is the cause of all terrorism...which is why the leaders of al Qaeda are typically U.S.-educated and were raised in wealth and luxury.
14. The Patriot Act is a horrific compromise of Constitutional rights, but anti-Second Amendment laws and Franklin Roosevelt's Presidential Order 9066 must be regarded "reasonable precautions."
15. We should unquestioningly honor the wishes of our age-old allies, even when said allies no longer act like our allies and have vested economic interests in propping up our enemies.
16. Socialized medicine is the ideal. Never mind all those people who spend every dime they have to get to the United States so they can get quality medical care...that their nation's socialized medical community can't provide.
17. Michael Moore, Noam Chomsky and Natalie Maines are perfectly qualified to criticize our leadership, but Arnold Schwarzenegger, Charlton Heston, and Dennis Miller are just ignorant political hacks.
18. John Lott's research on how gun ownership reduces crime is junk science, but Michael Bellesiles is still an authority on why gun control is good (even though he was forced to resign from Emory due to research misconduct over his book "Arming America").
19. Bush's toppling the Saddam regime was a "diversion," but Clinton's lobbing a couple of cruise missiles at Iraq in the thick of the Lewinsky sex scandal was "sending a message."
20. A president who lies under oath is okay, but a president who references sixteen words from an allies' intelligence report should be dragged through the streets naked.
21. Government should limit itself to the powers named in the Constitution, which include banning Second Amendment rights and shopping the courts for judges sympathetic to causes that wouldn't pass in any legislature.
22. "The People" in the First Amendment means The People; "the People" in the Fourth Amendment means The People; but "the People" in the Second Amendment (ratified in 1791) means the National Guard (created by an Act of Congress in 1903).
23. You support a woman's "right to choose" to kill her unborn child, but don't believe that same woman is competent enough to homeschool the children she bears.
24. Proven draft-dodging is irrelevant, but baseless claims of AWOL status is crucial to national security.
25. Threatening to boycott Dr. Laura's and Rush Limbaugh's advertisers is exercising Freedom of Speech, but threatening to boycott CBS's "The Reagans" and Liberal actors over their asinine anti-American remarks is censorship and McCarthyist blacklisting.
Smart people don't let other people vote Democrat.
I'm looking forward to busting this chestnut out in class this year.
A real keeper.
Thanks for initiating an appropriate thread on which I can vent about the conversation I had with a young graduate student this morning.*sigh*
His aim is to go into city management/planning, and he truly believes in his heart that it will be his job to foster planning that is "good for society." In his discussion with me, he used the example of a certain kind of bird living on my imaginary plot of land. "If all my neighbors enjoy watching this bird on my land, then should I just get to raze the land and build a parking lot?" he asked me.
Well, you can imagine my response.
He just shook his head and said things shouldn't be that way. He also agrees in full with a local smoking ordinance we have that will fine restaurant owners if smoking is allowed in their restaurants. He says he especially agrees with it if I'm the only restaurant in town, because "everyone should have access" to the restaurant.
He says a city planner should be able to tell a land developer that he may not develop land in a "popular" section of town unless the developer also agrees to develop a plot of land in an "underserved" part of town.
I need some Maalox, not just because of the conversation, but because---and here's the clincher--THIS KID IN HIS LATE 20'S CONSIDERS HIMSELF A REPUBLICAN AND SUPPORTS GEORGE W. BUSH.
That about sums it up
Tell that kid that he should manfully strive to supress his inner democrat.
This is sooooo true.
I am miffed this mornin' because the most liberal dim aquaintance of mine keeps emailin' me Anti-bush stuff. She is upset about the war in Iraq because it is immoral and is killin' children.
But she is a woman who aborted her own child and is now openly involved in an affair with a married man.
ARGH!
Couldn't you just ask her to stop sending the literature to you?
We are on the same list-serv and we share students.
Yeah, I should just ask her to stop,
HOWEVER, I do use her posts to reply with a good conservative rebuttal ;)
LOL!
It sounds like it keeps you up on the latest liberal talking points. If only she knew what it was being used for... :)
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