Posted on 01/19/2004 6:37:51 AM PST by Cincinatus' Wife
"It's not as bad as it sounds," he said. "You get used to it. You can work in it. As a matter of fact, it's a pretty cool place to work."
Sloan is part of a five-man crew mining the bat waste from the Bracken Bat Cave, home to 20 million or more Mexican freetail bats from February to October every year, making it the largest bat colony in the world.
That many bats leave a lot of guano. In fact, in parts of the cave it's piled 30 feet deep, and if some of it weren't removed periodically, the cave would fill up eventually, leaving no room for the bats to roost.
Every other year the folks from contractor Garden-Ville go into the cave when the bats are wintering in Mexico and harvest the guano, which has a reputation as a great fertilizer.
This year they hope to remove 200 tons in the four weeks they have access to the cave. That's just a fraction of what lies on the cave floor.
"It's really not bat guano," said Malcolm Beck, a consultant to Garden-Ville. "It's really beetle poop. The insects eat the plants, the bats eat the insects and beetles eat the guano. It goes through several stages. It's more processed than regular fertilizer. I think it refines it."
Beck said the guano is especially prized by marijuana growers because it is rumored to grow the biggest and best plants. But lots of gardeners with more legitimate crops also swear by the all-natural fertilizer.
The Marbach family, which sold the cave to Bat Conservation International several years ago, started mining the guano for fertilizer in the 1850s, and during the Civil War it was used to make gunpowder.
"It doesn't harm the bat colony at all," said Andy Moore, conservation program administrator for BCI. "It actually creates more roosting space."
BCI gets $125 a ton, plus 25 cents a bag to help pay for its bat conservation programs.
The mining operation uses a huge vacuum, attached to about 800 feet of tubing, to suck the guano from the cavern floor up into big 16-cubic-yard roll-off containers. The containers are then taken to Garden-Ville, where the guano is sifted and put in bags ranging from three quarts to a ton.
The vacuum is very powerful, as Sloan learned his first day on the job.
"I caught my arm in it the first day," he said. "That's why we always have someone on the emergency valve. It breaks the vacuum. They say the power of this thing can pull your eyes, nose and ears right off, and I believe it."
About 5,000 juvenile bats stay behind each winter, so the cave is still full of bat chatter.
"If you look up, keep your mouth closed," Moore said. "I speak from experience."
The guano itself is not nearly as nasty as one might imagine. By the time the colony has gone for the year and the beetles have done their work and gone into hibernation, what remains is dry, powdery and earth-toned. It does, however, have a strong, ammonia-like smell.
The mining operation will continue until the bats return early next month.
Wearing some sort of face-mask might help, too.
In which case the bats would be $#!+ out of luck...
Deep in the bowels of a D.C. office building, while searching for his lost keys to the Lock Box, Algore stumbles across some FBI files and an old pant suit named Crusty.
Mandrake: Look, I don't know what sort of stupid game this is you're playing, but I've got a very good idea what the recall code is and I have to get in touch with SAC headquarters immediately.
Guano: I said put your hands over your head and keep 'em there. Got any witnesses?
Mandrake: Witnesses? What are you talking about, witnesses? He shot himself!
Guano: While he was shaving, huh?
Mandrake: Now look, Colonel... Bat Guano, if that really is your name, may I tell you that I have a very, very good idea, I think, I hope, I pray, what the recall code is. It's some sort of recurrent theme he kept repeating. It's a variation on Peace on Earth or Purity of Essence. E O P. O P E. It's one of those!
Guano: Put your hands up on top of your head. Start walking.
Mandrake: Don't you know that General Ripper went as mad as a bloody march hare and sent the while wing to attack the Soviets? Don't you know that?
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