50 Reasons Lord of the Rings Sucks

Pointless Waste of Time ^

[sheltonmac]

You do realize this was satire, right?

[MarkL]

As a professor of literature at Oxford University, Tolkien specialized in Old and Middle English and loved ancient pagan mythology. His first fantasy novel, The Hobbit, appeared in 1937, and The Lord of the Rings, in 1954-55. Several others were published later, some posthumously.

In a biography that I saw about how Tolkein came up with Middle Earth, they spoke of his feelings that the English people had been cheated out of their own mythology. It seemed that every other european country had it's own mythos, but with the Norman conquest of England, "their own" mythology was lost, with the exception of Beowulf.

Because of that, it's said that Tolkein decided to come up with a new mythology for England, and that's where middle earth came from.

Mark

[sheltonmac]

You know, I purchased the widescreen version of the movie, and the image on my TV is still only 25 inches wide, the same as the full screen version. Was I ripped off?

[Spyder]

Great satire. You had me going for the first few. Great stuff once I caught on.

[SandfleaCSC]

You are such a geek.....can I borrow your copy of "The Simarillion"? :)

[Ciexyz]

I thoroughly enjoyed both movies and am looking forward to the third installment. Same time, next year....

[Sabertooth]

You are such a geek.....can I borrow your copy of "The Simarillion"? :)

Sorry, it's a first edition. I reserved it months before it came out.

[csvset]

[Robert A Cook PE]

Subtle humore seems sum thymes two much two bear......

Eye, that's the rub! Two subtle for sum hear too muse.

[Ciexyz]

Will someone please explain why every single Elf except Arwen is a blond? Why then is Liv Tyler dark-haired?

[Ciexyz]

The onscreen character of Gollum is fabulous. I want a Gollum doll. I want a Gollum doll that says "Precious". (smile)

[Jael]

Thanks Mark!

[Sabertooth]

Do you have a "ring ping" list?

I do.

[RaceBannon]

Did you write this?

It is fiction, written 50 years ago, did you know that when you made the hokey claims about ripping off Harry Potter??

And, this WAS required reading in the 70's in my high school for some classes, it is great fictional literature for the modern age!

And as far as movies go, these two so far have clearly been worth the $8 a ticket in my opinion, and 16 per extended version of Fellowship Of The Ring VHS.

[sweetliberty]

Thanks Toothy!

[sweetliberty]

Elrond is not blonde.

[Chemnitz]

I love Tokien and this review was hilariously funny. Very cranky and some great insights. I love it when people spot movie errors. The opinions are fun to read too.

[Centurion2000]

Pretty damn funny .... no way this could be serious though, unless written by the same writers that make up stuff for the eco-freaks, handgun control inc. and UN NGO's pushing the Kyoto treaty and global warming :)

[motzman]

Will someone please explain why every single Elf except Arwen is a blond? Why then is Liv Tyler dark-haired?

What about Elrond?

Basically, wood elves are usually blond while the Rivendell elves were darker haired.

Now, excuse me while I go back to the Nerdery....

Seriously though, if you're curious enough to ask, you should read the books.

[BradyLS]

You know, I purchased the widescreen version of the movie, and the image on my TV is still only 25 inches wide, the same as the full screen version. Was I ripped off?

Do you have the black bars that chop off the upper sky and extreme foreground? If so, dood, yooz waz robbed! ;-) :-D