Posted on 09/29/2023 7:26:02 PM PDT by DoodleBob
QUESTION: Is there a way to make sure people do not bring their children to a party I am hosting? This party is really for adults only and there are some friends of mine that take their children with them everywhere. I want to make sure that everyone understands that the children should stay home this time.
CALLIE’S ANSWER: There is no reason you can't just let everyone know it is only adults. It is completely understandable. Put it on the invitation "adults only affair."
LILLIE-BETH’S ANSWER: It’s weird that your friends assume that children are welcome to a party addressed only to them. As much as many parents might love having their children around, they also enjoy times designated just for adults, and it’s important to have those times, too.
Children at adult parties get bored quickly. I think you can add “adults only” to your invitation to make it clear, but I’m sorry that you have to. To really understand the best approach, I’d probably ask more context for all your friends that take their children everywhere: Do they not have sitters? Do they not know the etiquette that if their children aren’t specifically included on the invitation somewhere or verbally by the host then the party isn’t for them? Is there something else going?
But without that context so that you could address their concern specifically, you already know they bring their children everywhere, so you either need to be clear on the invitation or talk to them privately that you’d love for them to attend but that they’ll need to live their little ones at home.
HELEN’S ANSWER: If the envelope says Mr. and Mrs. Wallace, then that is who is invited to the party. Children’s names are always added when they are welcome.
Find a way to politely communicate the kid-free event, either by phone, or on the invitation. You might send your invitations out in advance and say “Adults only” so that parents will know to find a babysitter.
GUEST’S ANSWER:Christina Nihira, community leader: In a time where we have little “adult” time, it’s important to have some social time away from our kids. The first thing to consider is the invitation and wording. Explicitly indicate that the party is for “Adults Only” or “No Children Please” so your communication is straightforward and clear. Also it might be helpful to host an activity that is geared towards adults like a casino night, wine tasting or cocktail party.
Get the invite out as early as possible so childcare can be scheduled well in advance. If you have specific friends that can’t stand being apart from their children, make a point to have a conversation. Babysitters are often hard to find and it might be helpful to provide the names of a couple of trusted people.
As the event approaches, send a friendly reminder of the details and again, reiterate that this is an adult-only evening. For the “rebels,” it may be necessary to again emphasize your intent in polite and thoughtful words. Hopefully this will negate people feeling upset or excluded.
Since 2009, Callie, Lillie-Beth and Helen have written this generational etiquette column. They also include guest responses from a wide range of ages each week. So many years later, Callie is 20-plus; Lillie-Beth is 40-plus and Helen is 60-plus. To ask an etiquette question, email helen.wallace@cox.net.
don’t bring their kids to a party...
One of my sister’s girlfriends hosted a party for adults only.
A guest showed up with her little kids in tow, let them run wild, and proceeded to get plastered. She expected everyone else to watch her darlings. The hostess did not have children or a kid friendly house, so there was nothing to entertain them. The mother plunked them at a table with copier paper and the pen cup from the hostess’ computer desk and told them to draw.
Her children decided to go into the hostess’ bedroom and draw with marker all over the brand new bedroom furniture, comforter, and walls with markers they found in the pen cup. That destruction mission accomplished, they went into a guest bedroom, started throwing decorative pillows around, and busted an heirloom vase. The resounding crash caused several adults to perk up and find out what happened.
Their father had to leave work to retrieve his kids and sloshed wife. The damage was several thousand dollars.
They were never invited over again.
You may love your children, but not everyone else does. If I brought my babies anywhere, I hovered over them the entire time and made sure they had things to amuse themselves. If I couldn’t find a sitter, I graciously declined.
Some people were raised in a barn and the animals had better manners.
I was looking up creepy Biden pictures for the caption “in party babysitting will be provided by Sniffo the Clown”.
“Dont bring your f***ing brats”
I go to an Indian resturant where the owner forbids kids in his resturant. He HATES kids and refuses to cook for them. Ive seen him tell a seated family to take their kids to McDonalds, theyll be happier there and understand the food selections.
I freaking love that resturant.
His place is so nice and the food is outstanding.
He told me some fat slob family came in wanting a high cheer. The brat slipped out and fell and they wanted to sue. So he has a huge sign out front...NO KIDS UNDER 12.
Parents raising kids declines from boomers down and we were bad enough
It’s precipitous after gen x
I mean very few discipline for shit
Helicopter moms and let them run the house
Even let kids hit them
You are welcome to bring your under-age children along to this affair! We will have a special, separate, sound-proofed room, just for them, where your Little Ones won't be bothered by the adults' foul-mouthed language, drunken rants, lewd double-entendres, clumsy pick-up lines, wardrobe malfunctions, etc.
Child-care services provided by Nurse Ratched, under whose iron-fisted rule your Little Ones can laugh and play - as long as they don't unnerve Nurse Ratched, who is known to have a hair-trigger temper and will not brook any back-sass.
Regards,
Same with dogs in restaurants.
I don't even like people. Probably why I never get invited to parties.
People believe they are talking about everyone else’s kids.
Sadly, regardless of how the invites and discussion are made, there are ‘parents’ who have no boundaries with their kids and will be insulted their children are not invited.
Put on the invite Adults only.
“How about saying ‘No kids’?”
Because parents worship their little angels now. I started to notice this in the early ‘80s when my co-workers were starting families.
If a two-year-old interrupted an adult conversation, everything came to a standstill, and the adults were forced to listen to Dearie expound.
Wherever Mom and Dad went, Dearie was getting and center.
When we were kids, Good help is it we interrupted an adult conversation.!
“I don’t like kids.”
I don’t like or dislike kids. I do think they’re super interesting (the things they say and how they think) but I never wanted one. My sister’s grandchildren are fun. My invisible children and grandchildren are perfect, of course. 😌
The dogs I’ve seen in restaurants are better behaved than the kids.
Whatever you do...don’t mention that there will be a drag show at your party. Invitees will most certainly be upset that they can’t bring their kids.
sniffing party
There is no reason you can’t just let everyone know it is only adults.
Oh how fast that changes once the booze and weed is in.
Oh yes, it was not a lie. I really did have a missing pistol that I found a month later.
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