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No kids allowed: How to tell parents not to bring their kids to a party
The Oklahoman ^ | September 25, 2023 | Lillie-Beth Brinkman, Callie Athey and Helen Ford Wallace

Posted on 09/29/2023 7:26:02 PM PDT by DoodleBob

QUESTION: Is there a way to make sure people do not bring their children to a party I am hosting? This party is really for adults only and there are some friends of mine that take their children with them everywhere. I want to make sure that everyone understands that the children should stay home this time.

CALLIE’S ANSWER: There is no reason you can't just let everyone know it is only adults. It is completely understandable. Put it on the invitation "adults only affair."

LILLIE-BETH’S ANSWER: It’s weird that your friends assume that children are welcome to a party addressed only to them. As much as many parents might love having their children around, they also enjoy times designated just for adults, and it’s important to have those times, too.

Children at adult parties get bored quickly. I think you can add “adults only” to your invitation to make it clear, but I’m sorry that you have to. To really understand the best approach, I’d probably ask more context for all your friends that take their children everywhere: Do they not have sitters? Do they not know the etiquette that if their children aren’t specifically included on the invitation somewhere or verbally by the host then the party isn’t for them? Is there something else going?

But without that context so that you could address their concern specifically, you already know they bring their children everywhere, so you either need to be clear on the invitation or talk to them privately that you’d love for them to attend but that they’ll need to live their little ones at home.

HELEN’S ANSWER: If the envelope says Mr. and Mrs. Wallace, then that is who is invited to the party. Children’s names are always added when they are welcome.

Find a way to politely communicate the kid-free event, either by phone, or on the invitation. You might send your invitations out in advance and say “Adults only” so that parents will know to find a babysitter.

GUEST’S ANSWER:Christina Nihira, community leader: In a time where we have little “adult” time, it’s important to have some social time away from our kids. The first thing to consider is the invitation and wording. Explicitly indicate that the party is for “Adults Only” or “No Children Please” so your communication is straightforward and clear. Also it might be helpful to host an activity that is geared towards adults like a casino night, wine tasting or cocktail party.

Get the invite out as early as possible so childcare can be scheduled well in advance. If you have specific friends that can’t stand being apart from their children, make a point to have a conversation. Babysitters are often hard to find and it might be helpful to provide the names of a couple of trusted people.

As the event approaches, send a friendly reminder of the details and again, reiterate that this is an adult-only evening. For the “rebels,” it may be necessary to again emphasize your intent in polite and thoughtful words. Hopefully this will negate people feeling upset or excluded.

Since 2009, Callie, Lillie-Beth and Helen have written this generational etiquette column. They also include guest responses from a wide range of ages each week. So many years later, Callie is 20-plus; Lillie-Beth is 40-plus and Helen is 60-plus. To ask an etiquette question, email helen.wallace@cox.net.


TOPICS: Society
KEYWORDS: brats; butmybahbees; children; crotchgoblins; etiquette; parties
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1 posted on 09/29/2023 7:26:02 PM PDT by DoodleBob
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To: DoodleBob

How about saying “No kids”?


2 posted on 09/29/2023 7:27:34 PM PDT by Fai Mao (Starve the beast and steal its food!)
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To: DoodleBob

Now days people just don’t get it that kids are not welcome all the time.


3 posted on 09/29/2023 7:29:15 PM PDT by markman46 (engage brain before using keyboard!!!)
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To: DoodleBob
"adults only " should suffice.....

when we were young marrieds with young children and all of our friends had the same, all the kids came because none of us could afford babysitters.....

its not difficult...

4 posted on 09/29/2023 7:32:28 PM PDT by cherry
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To: DoodleBob

I was one of those dads that brought their kid(s) everywhere, but if I was invited to a party at night, or it wasn’t some other kid’s birthday, even I was bright enough to know that WE weren’t welcome, only The Wife and I were.


5 posted on 09/29/2023 7:33:03 PM PDT by End Times Sentinel (In the conflict between the stone and the stream, the stream will always prevail.)
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To: Fai Mao
there are some friends of mine that take their children with them everywhere

It sounds like some of their friends can’t take a hint.

There are basically three options: let them do what they want, tell them no explicitly, and don’t invite them.

6 posted on 09/29/2023 7:38:16 PM PDT by DoodleBob (Gravity's waiting period is about 9.8 m/s²)
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To: DoodleBob

Every child gets a free kitten.


7 posted on 09/29/2023 7:42:09 PM PDT by Raycpa
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To: markman46
Yep.

I mean, we love ours but we would never just assume they were invited to a party unless it was indicated in the invitation.

If you address it to "The Bear Family" or you list the kids by name then we assume they are welcome. If you address it to Mr and Mrs Bear or Harmless plus one then we will be getting a sitter.

8 posted on 09/29/2023 7:43:06 PM PDT by Harmless Teddy Bear (Keep America Beautiful by keeping Canadian Trash Out. Deport Jennifer Granholm!)
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To: cherry

My son could pump a kegger like nobody’s business

No...he didn’t drink any. And at 43, it’s rare that he ever has a drink. He hates beer


9 posted on 09/29/2023 7:46:05 PM PDT by digger48
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To: Harmless Teddy Bear

Back in the day, my parents went to and gave party’s adults only. They needed to get away from us monsters once a week or so.


10 posted on 09/29/2023 7:52:24 PM PDT by markman46 (engage brain before using keyboard!!!)
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To: DoodleBob

Tell them Joe Biden is stopping buy to “shake hands”


11 posted on 09/29/2023 7:54:40 PM PDT by DCBryan1 (Das dicke Ende kommt noch!)
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To: Fai Mao

Adults Only is less negatively phrased than No Kids

People will also feel less singled out or targeted

And you know it doesnt take much to trigger people nowadays so if you can try to avoid it over small things, its better


12 posted on 09/29/2023 7:54:40 PM PDT by Secret Agent Man (Gone Galt; not averse to Going Bronson.)
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To: DoodleBob

Three women who hate kids. America 2023.


13 posted on 09/29/2023 8:13:48 PM PDT by DesertRhino (Dogs are called man's best friend. Moslems hate dogs. Add it up..)
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To: DesertRhino

They don’t hate kids they just want to party without them……. simple .


14 posted on 09/29/2023 8:23:32 PM PDT by Mears
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To: DesertRhino

“ Three women who hate kids. America 2023. “

I don’t like kids.
Even when I was a kid, I didn’t like kids.


15 posted on 09/29/2023 8:24:28 PM PDT by Reynoldo (BurnLootMurder)
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To: cherry

That’s right.


16 posted on 09/29/2023 8:24:53 PM PDT by No name given (Anonymous is who you’ll know me as)
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To: Mears

You are correct.


17 posted on 09/29/2023 8:25:43 PM PDT by No name given (Anonymous is who you’ll know me as)
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To: DoodleBob

Indeed.


18 posted on 09/29/2023 8:26:07 PM PDT by No name given (Anonymous is who you’ll know me as)
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To: DoodleBob

https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-12576385/Elon-Musk-sex-party-nine-Tesla-CEOs-father.html

Kids deserve to know about the birds and the bees, as well as the hot/crazy matrix simulation


19 posted on 09/29/2023 8:27:20 PM PDT by algore
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To: DCBryan1

That’ll keep the kids away, lol 😂.


20 posted on 09/29/2023 8:29:16 PM PDT by No name given (Anonymous is who you’ll know me as)
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