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NEWS FROM THE YEAR 2059
email from a friend | 4/2/2023 | unknown

Posted on 04/02/2023 6:03:25 AM PDT by sodpoodle

Ozone created by electric cars now killing millions in the seventh largest country in the world, Mexifornia, formerly known as California.

White minorities still trying to have English recognized as the third language.

Couple petitions court to reinstate heterosexual marriage.

Iran still closed off; physicists estimate it will take at least 10 more years before radioactivity decreases to safe levels.

France pleads for global help after being taken over by Jamaica. No other country comes forward to help the beleaguered nation!

Last Castro finally dies at age 112; Cuban cigars can now be imported legally, but President Chelsea Clinton has banned all smoking.

George Z. Bush says he will run for president in 2060.

Postal Service raises price of first-class stamp to $17.89 and reduces mail delivery to Wednesdays only.

Average weight of Americans drops to 250 lbs.

85-year and $75.8 billion study: Diet and exercise is the key to weight loss.

Global cooling blamed for citrus crop failure for third consecutive year in Mexifornia and Floruba.

Abortion clinics now available in every high school in the United States .

Senate still blocking drilling in ANWR, even though gas is selling for 4532 Pesos per liter and gas stations are only open Tuesdays and Fridays.

Massachusetts executes last remaining conservative.

Supreme Court rules any punishment of criminals violates their civil rights.

A Couple Finally Achieved Sexual Harmony. They had simultaneous headaches.

Average height of NBA players is now nine feet seven inches with only 5 illegitimate children.

New federal law requires that all nail clippers, screwdrivers, fly swatters and rolled-up newspapers must be registered by January 2060.

IRS sets lowest tax rate at 75 percent.


TOPICS: Chit/Chat; History; Society
KEYWORDS: likely
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To: sodpoodle
I hope in 2059, President Barron Trump will visit The Free State of North Korea to celebrate their new Constitution, modeled after our Constitution from 1776.

After he will visit The Republic of Tibet, Saudi Arabia (to meet with the first women Saudi State leader) and Iran, to celebrate a 20 year friendship, started in 2026 when his dad gave support (but not money) to Iran's freedom fighters.

After, he flies into New York to meet with the Republican governors of Maine, New Hampshire, Connecticut, Rhode Island, Vermont and Pennsylvania (No Massachusetts has a Socialist governor) before returning to Florida (In 2029, Ron DeSantis moved the capital to where Disneyland was.) to meet with The Senate Majority Leader (75Rs) and House Majority Leader (350 R).

At least I can write fiction🤓

21 posted on 04/02/2023 8:53:49 AM PDT by Deplorable American1776 (Guns don't kill people, LIBERALS DO!! Support the Second Amendment...)
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To: cgbg

Truthfully Cuban Cigars are overrated. I was in Montreal for a Whalers-Candaians game, so I was in a cigar shop and they were selling Cuban cigars. I bought one, however, it was fine, not worth the price...


22 posted on 04/02/2023 8:58:59 AM PDT by Deplorable American1776 (Guns don't kill people, LIBERALS DO!! Support the Second Amendment...)
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To: cgbg

Truthfully Cuban Cigars are overrated. I was in Montreal for a Whalers-Candaians game, so I was in a cigar shop and they were selling Cuban cigars. I bought one, however, it was fine, not worth the price...


23 posted on 04/02/2023 9:23:25 AM PDT by Deplorable American1776 (Guns don't kill people, LIBERALS DO!! Support the Second Amendment...)
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To: Deplorable American1776

Cuban cigars are not newbie friendly.

They can be inconsistent—some of the farmers use oxen in their fields—even now. That means there is variation year to year, box to box, and even within a box.

In addition many of them need years of age to reach their peak.

I collect them—and when they are “right” they are off the charts amazing.

That said—I have had my fair share of duds.

These days the prices have exploded (doubled, tripled even more just in the last two years) so it is hard for me to recommend that others smoke them at current prices.


24 posted on 04/02/2023 10:02:11 AM PDT by cgbg (Claiming that laws and regs that limit “hate speech” stop freedom of speech is “hate speech”.)
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