Posted on 07/26/2021 9:59:57 AM PDT by sodpoodle
Bert, at 85 years old, always wanted a pair of soft spike golf shoes like Freddie Couples, so seeing some on sale after his round, he bought them at the pro shop. He was so delighted with his purchase, he decided to wear them home to show the Mrs.
Walking proudly into the house, he sauntered into the kitchen and said to his wife, "Notice anything different about me?" Ethel, at age 83 looked him over and replied, "Nope."
Frustrated, Bert stormed off into the bathroom, quickly undressed, and walked back into the kitchen completely naked, except for the new golf shoes. Again he asked Ethel, a little louder this time, "Notice anything different NOW?"
Ethel looked up and said in her best deadpan, "Bert, what's different? It's hanging down today, it was hanging down yesterday, and it'll be hanging down again tomorrow." Furious, Bert yelled out, "AND DO YOU KNOW WHY IT'S HANGING DOWN - ETHELLLL?"
"Nope. Not a clue," she replied in a calm voice.
"IT'S HANGING DOWN BECAUSE IT'S LOOKING AT MY NEW GOLF SHOES!"
Without missing a beat, Ethel replied, "Maybe You shoulda bought a new hat.”
LOL! Stealing this....
83-year-old wife feeling amorous, calls down to her 85-year-old husband...
“You big stud, climb up these stairs and make mad passionate love to me”
He looks up at her and says: “I can do one or the other”...
You posted the same thing back in February.
-PJ
oh....golf...sorry
I’ll go and ask if we can go through,” said Max to Jerry. The two golfers had been concerned for some time at the snail-like progress of two women, originally some holes ahead and now just in front of them on the ninth fairway. Max returned after only a few paces towards the ladies.
“Jerry, this is very embarrassing, but would you mind going. That’s my wife up ahead and she’s playing with my mistress.”
Jerry returned having got no further forward than Max. “I say,” he said, “what a coincidence.”
LOL! I have golf-a-holic cousin I would love to send this to, but won’t because:
I don’t think he’s got enough of a good sense of humor to appreciate it
and .....
the situation might hit too ‘close to home’!
Who checks up on things like this? Get a hobby.
WOW!!!!!!
I didn’t remember that - I’ll have to remind my friend who e-mails the jokes I post.
I’ll ask the moderator to take it down.
-PJ
-PJ
Only joke? Wow, you found a previously posted joke but missed the thousand since then.
Quite the sleuth.
Good one! Thanks for that :)
-PJ
And in the spirit of the joke, I'll ask the moderator to get it back up!
Thanks for the accidental re-posting - as I missed it the first time. Unlike some here, I have a life outside Free Republic so I don't catch every single thread that gets posted here.
I'm going to post something later this week that I posted several years back. I'm hoping that the Free Republic sleuths are on their game because it's going to be a hard one!
Father, son, and grandson were on the first tee when they were joined by a knockout blond gal.
She asks to join the men and vows she won’t be in the way.
Turns out she was a great golfer and a great golf companion.
They get to the 18 green and she has about a 4 footer for par.
She declares that if she makes this putt she shoots in the 70’s for the first time in her life.
She also thanks them for the good cheer and says whoever can help me read the break on this putt, gets to have a night of wild love-making with me.
The grandson says just aim at the hole and hit it firm.
The son says, it really breaks right to left so play it about two balls outside the right edge.
The grandfather picks up her marker and says: “That putt is good”
THAT is what the old lady wanted.
Jack’s friends are very upset that he can’t go, but what can they do? Two days later, the three get to Scotland only to find Jack sitting at the bar with four drinks set up.
“Wow, Jack, how long you been here, and how did you talk your wife into letting you go?” one friend asked
“I’ve been here since last night. The other day, I was sitting in my living room chair and my wife came up behind me and put her hands over my eyes and asked, ‘Guess who?’
“I pulled her hands off, and there she was wearing a nightie. She took my hand and pulled me into our bedroom. The room had candles and rose petals all over.
“On the bed, she had handcuffs, and ropes! She told me to tie her up and cuff her to the bed, so I did. And then she said, ‘Do whatever you want.’
“So… here I am"
Keep coming up with the jokes...I don’t care how many you tell over...I like ‘em all...
Thanks Sod...I had a harrowing morning.
I'll bet you're a lot of fun at a party. Not!
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