Posted on 07/07/2021 11:29:26 PM PDT by McGruff
PITTSBURGH, PA—The FBI released disturbing new details today regarding alleged January 6th rioter Robert Morss, who had a fully-constructed LEGO Capitol building in his home. Agents say Morss was also building several LEGO Harry Potter sets, leading authorities to believe he was planning a similar attack on Hogwarts Castle.
“The suspect had several completed LEGO Harry Potter building sets and was about 80% of the way through building the advanced-level LEGO Harry Potter Castle,” said FBI bureau chief Warren Alvarez. “We feel we caught him just in the nick of time before things turned violent once more.”
Alvarez said a review of Morss’ online social media accounts show him to be a staunch supporter of Lord Voldemort, believing that Albus Dumbledore was fraudulently elected as the leader of Hogwarts. Documents found on his computer show that Morss was planning a violent protest at the school on July 31, Harry Potter’s birthday.
“This is a huge win for law enforcement,” said Alvarez. “The FBI is proud of our work taking dangerous, LEGO-building criminals off the streets. Also, now I don’t have to buy my kid a birthday present, which is awesome.”
In related news, press secretary Jen Psaki said President Biden is renewing his calls for common-sense LEGO control, calling for universal background checks for all LEGO purchases as well as closing the toy show loophole. Psaki said. “We must work vigilantly to keep these dangerous LEGO weapons of war off our streets,” Psaki said.
It is certain that the FBI use their Magic Wands in most every framework of their ivanvestigations.
What next? Someone going to eat my Eggos? Oh the horror of it all. Is nothing sacred any more? Please pass the syrup, Aunt Jemima preferred or Uncle Tom’s Log Cabin Syrup.
https://youtu.be/pRWsuyQ6Y0Q William Shatner - Common People - Lego Animation. One of the best things on YouTube.
Nice!
As usual, the Babylon Bee gave me a smile!!
“Other evidence seems to suggest that Morss was planning to employ a destructive device that he called a “death star”. We shudder to think what calamity might have ensued had authorities not interceded when they did.”
/My contribution to the narrative...
The Shat was on Conan O'Brian's show once and said "If Canada went to war with America I'd be morally obligated to kill all of you." He seemed to mean it. LOL. A NORTH American treasure then.
"Everything Is Awesome..."
Shat is an original. No one like him.
I like the lego video cause it’s a mashup of a mashup. First Shat’s (unexpected) take on a punk song and then the lego animation on top of that.
The man is an incredible inspiration going on 90 years old. Sliding off speeding car hoods at 50 being “T.J. Hooker” while mashing on Heather Locklear (whom I’ve seen naked). Not really, just swiping a line from John Lovitz’s ‘Terminal Liar’ character. She did have my love child. He’s called Hunter and has many problems.
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