Posted on 10/14/2020 3:45:56 PM PDT by tired&retired
WASHINGTON, D.C.—According to anonymous sources, local liberal man Penn Millikers proposed to his girlfriend but has refused to reveal his position on adultery until after the wedding is over.
The staunch Democrat said he wants the woman to marry him but won't reveal his position on adultery until the marriage is finalized.
"Listen, I love you, babe, but you don't deserve to know what I think about adultery until you say 'I do,'" he told her during a romantic dinner just after he proposed.
"No matter how many times his girlfriend asked, Millikers refused to give a straight answer," said the anonymous source. "He said something like: 'Lookie here, Jill! If I tell you right now whether or not I plan to remain faithful to you, that would become the story! This is just a distraction! I think it's better to just get married first with no prenup. Then I'll tell you what I plan to do.'"
Other things he refuses to reveal his position on include taking showers, putting socks in the hamper, going out drinking with the boys every night, and watching sports all day while he ignores his family.
"You'll find out my positions on these issues once we are married."
(Excerpt) Read more at babylonbee.com ...
You have to marry it to find out what’s in it.
If girl says yes, she deserves everything that is coming.
What I hate about the babylon bee articles is that so much is possible in today’s insane world that I waste my time reading the first few paragraphs before it sounds so stupid that I realize it has to be sarcasm.
Even 4 years ago, reading “8 year old can decide what gender he wants to be” could have been on the babylon bee...not anymore.
Or “government to pay for prisoner sex change operations”...though that policy has been around longer
or even “men now allowed to marry men’
If we go back to the 80s and look at things from that perspective, there would be unlimited true stories that would have been sarcasm then.
ZING!
“We have to pass the (health care) bill so that you can find out what is in it.”
Nancy Pelosi - March 2010
Nice backhand burn, 10 years later.
I think this is a great zing on Biden’s Packing the Supreme Court statement.
LMAO, noice!!!!!
Another good one from the Bee. But, come on... if the groom’s a Democrat, he’s obviously pro-adultery.
I hope Babylon Bee can keep ahead of the PC crowd in its satire, rather than becoming an ‘old news’ source. I think that is what caused the demise of ‘The Onion.’ Thank you for the post.
I really enjoyed the Fisher-Price kids playhouse in flames with the boxing saying “My first peaceful protest”.
It goes both ways brother.
:)
What a sleazebag.
bttt
You need to marry him first to find out if he’s a cad. — Speaker Pelosi.
DANG!
Disclaimer: Opinions posted on Free Republic are those of the individual posters and do not necessarily represent the opinion of Free Republic or its management. All materials posted herein are protected by copyright law and the exemption for fair use of copyrighted works.