Posted on 09/28/2020 7:41:26 PM PDT by UMCRevMom@aol.com
DETROIT, MI—General Motors is making waves after a surprise unveiling of a line of exciting new California-compliant vehicles. After a week of building anticipation, officials at the company revealed its latest innovation for the West Coast: the 2021 Horse And Buggy.
The curiosity started last week when GM's Twitter account dropped a cryptic photo of a lone carrot with the phrase "It's coming." Finally, at a live event this week, officials at the company pulled the cover off a stylish, elegant carriage pulled by a powerful single horse.
"We had to re-think everything," said lead designer Abraham Moses Jehoshaphat from rural Pennsylvania. "With California outlawing gas-powered cars, we had to research new technology for propelling a four-wheeled vehicle forward. After countless hours of research and billions of dollars, this is what we came up with. It's an organic, intelligent engine capable of listening to your voice commands and even reproducing other engines. A true miracle of modern science. Levi Berkenbosch from down the road donated it, which is nice. Her name's Sal."
The 2021 Horse & Buggy will come in a one or two horsepower option. Instead of dirty fossil fuels that make Mother Earth cry, the Horse & Buggy will be powered by organic oats and carrots, which can be picked up at your local Whole Foods for $12,000 per pound. Instead of plush bucket seats, riders will be treated to a solid oak plank carved from a single tree that will crack your pelvis every time you hit a pothole.
"The only downside to this amazing machine is you have to stop every 23 feet to pick up poop," said Jehoshaphat. "Although, if you're riding it through a San Francisco tent city no one will probably notice. Also, this old girl's a little skittish around fire, which I hear could be a problem in California."
Chevy confirmed they plan to release many more exciting new California-compliant models in the future such as the "Chariot," the "Flintstone," and the "100 Giant Helium Balloons Tied To A Harness On Your Back." You're welcome, Mother Nature!
The Chevy Flicker.
California has rolling blackouts due to their inability to provide electricity to all its residents now because of environmental mandates.
What will they do when the only vehicles the law allows are electric which require significant electrical power to charge?
Growing up in Amish country, I’d buy one. Really.
USA Today is furiously googling the veracity of this claim.
There are no turn signals, no bumpers, no airbags and it's not handicap compliant.
(They plan on planting long vegetable gardens along the sides of all the streets there, so that all they have to do is sweep all droppings to the "side of the road" for fertilizer.)
good socialists don’t ask such questions
The lack of electricity will give a whole new meaning to the term “gridlock.”
Something New Yorkers probably don’t see as much of anymore.
I would really love one, too!
Now that right there is what we call “efficiency!” LOL!
LOL! You can count on America’s (hotel) newspaper to do just that!
USA Today fact check says “Mostly false.” /sarc
This will only last until PETA has a moral outrage. Then they will be replace by rickshaws pulled by $15/hr workers, no gig pullers allowed.
One of their best. Loved the tease with the carrot.
‘This is the first day of the rest of my life...’
Recently my wife and I visited Mackinac Island were motor vehicles are banned and horses provide the transportation. While sitting at an outdoor coffee shop one morning enjoying my espresso, a horse drawn cart pulled up to make a delivery. The horse proceeded to do his business not four feet from where I sat. That really didn’t make my day.
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