Posted on 07/16/2020 9:54:14 AM PDT by C19fan
There were two men who played golf together frequently. One was several strokes better than the other. The lesser player was very proud, and never wanted to take any strokes to even up the game. One Saturday morning, he shows up with a gorilla at the first tee. He says to his friend, “I’ve been trying to beat you for so long that I’m about ready to give up. But, I heard about this golfing gorilla, and I was wondering if it would be alright if he plays for me today. In fact if you’re game, I’d like to try to get back all the money I’ve lost to you this year. I figure comes to about a thousand bucks. Are you willing?”
The other guy thought about it for a minute, and then decided to play the gorilla. “After all, how good could a gorilla be at golf?” he thought.
Well, the first hole was a straightaway par 4 of 450 yards. The guy hits a beautiful tee shot, 275 yards down the middle, leaving himself a 6 iron to the green. The gorilla takes a few powerful practice swings and then laces the ball 450 yards, right at the pin, stopping about 6 inches away from the hole.
The guy turns to his friend and says “That’s incredible, I would have never believed it if I hadn’t seen it with my own eyes. But, you know what, I’ve seen enough. I’ve got no interest in being totally humiliated by this gorilla golfing machine. You send this frigging gorilla back to where he comes from. I need a drink; better make it a double, and I’ll write you a check.”
After handing over the check, and well into his second double the guy asks, “By the way, how’s that gorilla’s putting?” The other guy replies, “Same as his driving.” “That good, huh?” “No, I mean, he hits putts the same way - 450 yards, right down the middle!”
Wasn’t hard to get off?..................
Unfortunately, his wedges are not that good. He was not closest to the hole after hitting the 423 yard drive.
There are no short golf jokes, are there?
;>)
And.....he finished +1 for the day.
ok- I’m calling foul- is he injecting the golf balls with steroids?
nice shot- that’s about 400 yards further than me-
Trevino: during a lightening storm, for safety hold a one iron up in the air. Even G_d can’t hit a one iron.
Is that 423 yards calculated as a straight line, or is line down the ravine and back up the ravine to the point of the ball? If it is the latter then he is receiving the benefit of the ravine making it less impressive, as the distance across the ravine would be less then the entire ravine measured at ground level. 8>)
This past winter I watched a long drive championship where the winning woman hit 413 yds.......
Time for performance enhancing drug tests?
A 420 yard par four was a stout par four, back in the day.
Most golf club manufacturers don’t even make 3 irons anymore.
That’s 17 yards short of a quarter mile. Wow!
My father was 5’ 8” and 135 pounds. He won a long-drive contest at a charity tournament (beating several Dallas Cowboys) with a 353 yard drive. Circa 1995. At 700 feet above sea level. With a driver that doesn’t compare to today’s rocket launchers.
I’d call that about even.
A few holes prior, his drive traveled a paltry 407 yards.
Trevino’s book “The Snake In The Sandtrap” is a great read. It includes great stories about the most famous Texas golf (and general) hustler of all time, Titanic Thompson.
Trevino’s favorite hustle when he worked at the driving range as a kid was, he could hit a green from 150 yards.
Using a family-sized Coke bottle for a club.
Yeah, and this guy's drive was at the 10th hole, and his putt was at the 12th hole.
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