Posted on 04/16/2020 2:55:29 AM PDT by sodpoodle
1. I had a New Hampshire Congresswoman (Carol Shea-Porter) ask for an aisle seat so that her hair wouldn't get messed up by being near the window. (On an airplane!)
2. I got a call from a Kansas Congressman's (Moore) staffer (Howard Bauleke), who wanted to go to CapeTown. I started to explain the length of the flight and the passport information, and then he interrupted me with, ''I'm not trying to make you look stupid, but Cape Town is in Massachusetts. '' Without trying to make him look stupid, I calmly explained, ''Cape Cod is in Massachusetts , Cape Town is in South Africa. His response -- click..
3. A senior Vermont Congressman (Bernie Sanders) called, furious about a Florida package we did. I asked what was wrong with the vacation in Orlando. He said he was expecting an ocean-view room. I tried to explain that's not possible, since Orlando is in the middle of the state.
He replied, 'Don't lie to me!, I looked on the map, and Florida is a very THIN state!!''
4. I got a call from a lawmaker's wife (Landra Reid) who asked, ''Is it possible to see England from Canada?''
I said, ''No.'' She said, ''But they look so close on the map''
5. An aide for a cabinet member (Janet Napolitano) once called and asked if he could rent a car in Dallas. I pulled up the reservation and noticed he had only a 1-hour layover in Dallas.
When I asked him why he wanted to rent a car, he said, ''I heard Dallas was a big airport, and we will need a car to drive between gates to save time.'' (Aghhhh)
6. An Illinois Congresswoman (Jan Schakowsky) called last week. She needed to know how it was possible that her flight from Detroit left at 8:30 a.m, and got to Chicago at 8:33 a.m. I explained that Michigan was an hour ahead of Illinois , but she couldn't understand the concept of time zones. Finally, I told her the plane went fast, and she bought that.
7. A NewYork lawmaker, (Jerrold Nadler) called and asked, ''Do airlines put your physical description on your bag so they know whose luggage belongs to whom?''
I said, 'No, why do you ask?'
He replied, ''Well, when I checked in with the airline, they put a tag on my luggage that said (FAT), and I'm overweight. I think that's very rude!''
After putting him on hold for a minute, while I looked into it. (I was dying laughing). I came back and explained the city code for Fresno , Ca is (FAT - Fresno Air Terminal), and the airline was just putting a destination tag on his luggage..
8. A Senator John Kerry aide (Lindsay Ross) called to inquire about a trip package to Hawaii .After going over all the cost info, she asked, ''Would it be cheaper to fly to California and then take the train to Hawaii ?''
9. I just got off the phone with a freshman Congressman, Bobby Bright from Ala. who asked, ''How do I know which plane to get on?'' I asked him what exactly he meant, to which he replied, ''I was told my flight number is 823, but none of these planes have numbers on them.''
10. Senator Dianne Feinstein called and said, ''I need to fly to Pepsi-Cola , Florida . Do I have to get on one of those little computer planes?''
I asked if she meant fly to Pensacola and fly on a commuter plane.
She said, ''Yeah, whatever, smarty!''
11 . Mary Landrieu, La. Senator, called and had a question about the documents she needed in order to fly to China.
After a lengthy discussion about passports, I reminded her that she needed a visa.
"Oh, no I don't. I've been to China many times and never had to have one of those''
I double checked and sure enough, her stay required a visa.
When I told her this she said, ''Look, I've been to China four times and every time they have accepted my American Express!''
12. A New Jersey Congressman (John Adler) called to make reservations, ''I want to go from Chicago to Rhino, NewYork.''
I was at a loss for words. Finally, I said, ''Are you sure that's the name of the town?''
"Yes, what flights do you have?'' replied the man.
After some searching, I came back with, ''I'm sorry, sir, I've looked up every airport code in the country and can't find a Rhino anywhere."
''The man retorted, ''Oh, don't be silly! Everyone knows where it is. Check your map!''
So I scoured a map of the state of New York and finally offered, ''You don't mean Buffalo, do you?''
The reply? ''Whatever! I knew it was a big animal.''
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Now you know why the Government is in the shape it's in!
Wow! And they think they’re so much smarter/better than the average Joe.
Mornin’ Sod...Up to your usual I see. You always make me smile. Thanks Sac
God bless you Sac;)
Some of these quotes (especially Adler and Feinstein) had to be from people who were drunk. All things considered, that is very likely a natural state for a Democrat.
I’ve gotten to the point where I go to the airport even if I’m not flying anywhere. A guy needs a pat-down once in a while...
In addition to being liars, thieves and perverts, they are also stupid. So stupid that they will play in traffic if we tell them they’ll get paid to do it.
Thank you! I really needed a chuckle this morning.
Funny, but a total fabrication.
I’ve been to Cape Town...and I’ve been to Cape Cod.It’s hard to mistake one for the other.
Maybe not.After all,a member of the United States House of Representatives once expressed concern that Guam would tip over if we stationed too many troops there.
And also...I suggest that you search youtube for "stupid game show answers".You'll see what I mean.
Actually not believable.
Believable as to their utter stupidity, but not the part about Congress critters making their own phone calls or making their own travel arrangements.
And very funny! Thanks!
An oldie but a goodie. Thank you.
Indeed congress critters say stupid things all the time.
Sorry to say I can believe all of this.
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