One Pastor I knew used to say that when Jesus was born, the Wise Men came all gussied up in their fancy finest, and the Shepherds came in their modest, raggedy "street clothes", and all of them were completely welcome.
Posted on 10/20/2019 6:56:07 PM PDT by mkleesma
Whether you’re visiting your parents’ stuffy old Baptist church or piling into the family minivan because the kids are begging to ride the roller coaster at the sleek new megachurch down the street, the age-old question persists: what should you wear?
Wonder no longer, good and faithful servant. We sent a team of Babylon Bee agents to over two thousand churches, big and small, new and old, all across the land to research customs, dress codes, fashion do’s and fashion don’ts. This exhaustively researched article is the result, and it’s absolutely packed with helpful fashion tips.
Bookmark this page and check it any time you’re unsure what it is you ought to be wearing to church!
Baptist—When you hit the local Baptist church, dust off your best polo shirt and slacks, like Jesus wore. Women should be sure to wear long enough skirts, lest they should cause a brother to stumble by flashing too much ankle.
Calvary Chapel—God is worthy of our Sunday best, so make sure you pick out your finest sandals, shorts, and Hawaiian print shirt when you show your face at one of your city’s fifty-eight Calvary Chapel churches. The hardcore believers will be touting a copy of Left Behind or The Late Great Planet Earth tucked beneath their arm.
Presbyterian & Reformed—The key word here is classy. Sport a three-piece suit, top hat, and a monocle. Pair with glass of scotch or craft beer and a Romeo y Julieta brand cigar to really blend in.
Non-Denominational Megachurch—Whatever you woke up in. If it’s good enough to party in late Saturday night and crash on your couch in, it’s good enough for God. If you overdress by wearing a shirt that doesn’t show some skin or a low-key, modest outfit, you’ll stick out like a sore thumb!
Pentecostal—Go with something loose and flowing—anything good for waving your arms around in or flopping around like Magikarp. Secret pockets and compartments you can use to stow a tambourine or dancing ribbon are useful.
Catholic—You’d best wear your spiffiest Sunday outfit or your Grandma will pinch you, and it will hurt like the dickens. If your Grandma isn’t there, don’t worry, someone else’s Grandma will assume her pinching duties.
Methodist—Mainline Methodists should wear a tie-dye T-shirt with a left-leaning political statement like LOVE IS LOVE or PRIDE. If you’re one of the few Methodists still left in orthodoxy, a WESLEY IS MY HOMEBOY shirt oughtta do it.
Lutheran—16th-century German monastic robes are ideal. If you are having trouble locating those, you can go with a Baptist-esque business casual outfit as a fallback. But really, you’re gonna want to try to find the robes if you don’t want to look like a loser.
Episcopalian—Wear anything you want; no one will be there to see you anyway.
Eastern Orthodox—Your outfit doesn’t matter so much as the fact that you’ve got a long, flowing beard. Women are not exempt from this requirement.
I know this is all a joke. But, I think all of us have observed, that there are no real dress codes or standards of dress in church anymore. People wear torn jeans, short tennis shorts, flip flops, t shirts as outerwear, etc.
Yes I would rather people be in church than not be there at all. But I’m just observing, that there is no such thing as Sunday best anymore. Casual dress has overtaken just about every place in society.
My observations have been in Catholic, Lutheran, and some other non denominational Christian chruches. Any who can tell.us about any denominations which still expect certain standards of dress, please let us know. Thanks.
Admitting - I only dress “Sunday’s best” when I am the assigned lector and giving the Scripture reading before the congregation at mass...
Otherwise I’m put together but casual regardless of the denomination of the church...perhaps dark jeans instead of light jeans, but yeah.
It’s California.
I grew up in a ‘traditional’ church......both Baptist and Reformed Presbyterian
Have attended the mega type church with ‘anything goes’ attire worn by many......couldn’t adjust
Now in my dotage, returned to traditional
In my church, dress is VERY casual. I for one will NOT consign anyone to the pit because of their attire.
I attend a fundamental independent Baptist church and we dress up in our Sunday best.
Ping!
“Any who can tell.us about any denominations which still expect certain standards of dress”
Presbyterian and Reformed are definitely not the same thing. I grew up around (but didn’t attend church with) Reformed/Calvinists (mainly of the Dutch variety). Very proper, two piece suits and modest dresses. no monocles and definitely no whiskey or cigars.
This time of year many Lutheran men are sporting lederhosen
Why the ‘straw man’.....no one even suggested that!
I personally like the fact that casual dress is acceptable pretty much everywhere.
Jeans, t-shirts, sweatshirts and tennies - nothing more comfortable!
Um, not my wife's Baptist church, which I occasionally attend. The minister preaches with his shirt untucked and wears a pair of Crocs, and my brother-in-law is a deacon. His idea of church attire is a T-shirt and a pair of flip-flops. No, bro, I don't think God wants to see your grungy toenails. I certainly don't.
Calvary Chapel—God is worthy of our Sunday best, so make sure you pick out your finest sandals, shorts, and Hawaiian print shirt when you show your face at one of your city’s fifty-eight Calvary Chapel churches.
See above post about Baptists. I gotta cop to the Hawaiian shirts and cargo shorts, but at least I wear my best sneakers and clean socks.
Non-Denominational Megachurch—Whatever you woke up in. If it’s good enough to party in late Saturday night and crash on your couch in, it’s good enough for God. If you overdress by wearing a shirt that doesn’t show some skin or a low-key, modest outfit, you’ll stick out like a sore thumb!
This sound more like my Methodist church back home. Every Christmas Eve, girls as young as twelve attend candlelight service, seemingly trying to out-slut each other by blow-drying their hair, applying a pound of makeup, squeezing into A-cup bras and low-cut tops for maximum cleavge, and wearing dresses or skirts so short, they flash buttcheeks every time they get up and down in the pew. Hey, girls, take that to the mall and show your ass(ets) off at Orange Julius. Since you're still a few years shy of buying your first legal beer, how about toning it down a little in church, m'kay?
Longtime Reformed here. Suits & whiskey is what was aspired to, if not actually done.
Now, by circumstance, in PCA & nondenom mega churches. Wife gets irritated when I dress up because few do.
Until the industrial revolution, “Sunday best” merely meant the least dirty & torn work clothes that commoners had—one of their typically 2 sets of clothes.
It was considered elitist, arrogant, unkind etc. to dress up on Sunday and put the commoners to shame.
Sunday best coat & tie
/s
There’s no way I would ever wear a t-shirt or shorts to church.
I shoot for business casual — plaid button-down shirt, khakis, comfortable shoes.
I’d like to put on a coat and tie, but this is sunny Southwest Florida, doncha know?
Sunday morning was suit and tie for all the men. Only young boys were exempt from the suit requirement, but I remember a white shirt and tie only for church and my "Sunday shoes" which were not allowed to be worn at any other time. Women wore a"church dress" the meaning of which is "somewhere between a business dress and a party dress."
Sunday evening service was slightly more relaxed. Men generally wore slacks and a button shirt.
Now, not so much dressing up. The last time I went to a funeral, I was the only man in a tie. It was in the summer and it was hot, but still...
I don't think the Lord cares too much, but I recall my mother's stern words. "It's about respect."
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