Posted on 07/18/2019 3:49:13 AM PDT by sodpoodle
Due to the popularity of the "Survivor" shows, Texas is planning to do one entitled: "Survivor - Texas-Style!"
The lucky contestants will all start in Dallas, drive to Waco, Austin, San Antonio, then over to Houston and down to Brownsville. They will then proceed up to Del Rio, El Paso, Odessa, Midland, Lubbock, and Amarillo. From there they will go on to Abilene and Fort Worth, and finally, back to Dallas. Each contestant will be driving a pink Prius with 15 bumper stickers which will read:
1. "I'm A Democrat"
2. "Amnesty For Illegals"
3. "I Love RAP"
4. "Boycott Beef"
5. "I Voted For Obama"
6. "George Strait Sucks"
7. "Elect Hillary In 2020"
8. "Vote Eric Holder Texas Governor"
9. "Rosie O'Donnell Is A great role model"
10. "I Love Obamacare and Chuck Schumer"
11. "Kaepernick Is My Hero"
12. "I Side With Jane Fonda"
13. "It's all Bush's Fault”
14. "Islam Is A Peace-Loving Religion"
- and the last sticker is;
15. "I'm Here To Confiscate Your Guns"
The first contestant to make it back to Dallas alive wins.
Two bumper stickers sure to set any Texan off:
Texan? A Mexican that stopped short of Oklahoma!
And
High school football sucks!
A big Horns Down sticker.
If you ain’t Texan,you ain’t sh!t! I’ll never forget that one.
I’m sure driving around with such bumper stickers will be fine.
Texas and the USA have many great things about them that we may be on the verge of losing forever as a nation.
When we can kiss Texas goodbye, we can kiss the USA goodbye.
If your analysis is spot on, that day may be coming soon.
Yeah, but aaalllllll those places in between are like a whole ‘nother country. :)
lolol
19. "Horns quit playing the Aggies cuz they're scared."
20. "Bama's had 5 AP championships in 10 years. Horns have 3 since...ever."
21. “Texas BBQ sucks.”
“I don’t know why people here have such a hard-on for Texas.”
Neither do I.
They talk too damn much about how they dont take no gruff from “dem darn libruahs”, then you look at news stories and realize they aren’t exactly doing much more than compensating because the situation there isnt exactly inspiring. They need to get over the cowboy mystique, the bragging about having been a republic like 200 years ago, and their accents, and start paying attention to right now.
BOL.......
The next election will be very interesting as I think there will be a lot more Republicans than 2016. It takes about two years for a Californian or New Yorker to become Texan and many of the new Texans will be switched over.
We’ll see what happens.
Maybe so in Austin, San Antonio or Houston. But in Waxahachie, Ennis or Dalhart, be ready to duck.
They will actually be pretty safe for the first five or six cities, but if they have to stop and get gas or use the restroom between those five or six, they may encounter some trouble.
That last leg is going to really hurt them. It would kill them if there was a “stop drilling” or “outlaw fracking” sticker through that last leg! LOL!
ping
your help is needed;) It was supposed to be a ‘humor’ thread!!
LOL!
“I’m sure driving around with such bumper stickers will be fine. “
The contestants will probably be offered even more liberal slogan stickers.
Texas had better surround Austin and off the liberals before they take care of other problems.
I’m a Texan and it hurts me to say it but your assessment is spot on.
If you want to live in conservative Texas, you are going to have to do it in outlying small towns and communities and steer clear of the major metro areas.
Good ones!
I knew everyone enjoyed HS football.
I realised it was just short of a religious cult when I saw a small Texas town close up tighter than Dick’s hat band so everyone could drive 50-60 miles to watch their boys play another team.
I mean the only people in town were the three of us parked at the truck stop.
Wish I could remember the town names but it was years ago and off the beaten path.
Texas, like a whole nother world.
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