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Add to the list - thank you.
1 posted on 02/11/2019 2:53:38 AM PST by sodpoodle
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To: sodpoodle
I like those, sodpoodle. Thanks for the chuckles.

You're not fat, you're just easier to see.

I think it's pretty cool how Chinese people made a language entirely out of tattoos.

Denny's has a slogan, "If it's your birthday, the meal is on us." If you're in Denny's and it's your birthday, your life sucks!

😃


2 posted on 02/11/2019 3:05:37 AM PST by bagster ("Even bad men love their mamas".)
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Any pro-family aphorisms?


3 posted on 02/11/2019 3:09:24 AM PST by Olog-hai ("No Republican, no matter how liberal, is going to woo a Democratic vote." -- Ronald Reagan, 1960)
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To: sodpoodle

Isn’t the Mexican phone company Taco Bell?


4 posted on 02/11/2019 3:41:46 AM PST by sparklite2 (Don't mind me. I'm just a contrarian.)
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To: sodpoodle
"..The only married person was Otis.."

Don't forget the "arguing couple". d;^)

6 posted on 02/11/2019 4:18:45 AM PST by CopperTop (Outside the wire it's just us chickens. Dig?)
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To: sodpoodle

Imagine if Alexander Graham Bell was named Alexander Graham Siren


7 posted on 02/11/2019 5:11:13 AM PST by NonValueAdded (#DeplorableMe #BitterClinger #HillNO! #cishet #MyPresident #MAGA #Winning #covfefe #BuildIt)
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To: sodpoodle
I loved Ambrose Bierce's definition of 'aphorism' from The Devil's Dicitonary:

APHORISM

-n.

Predigested wisdom.

The flabby wine-skin of his brain
Yields to some pathologic strain,
And voids from its unstored abysm
The driblet of an aphorism.

- "The Mad Philosopher," 1697

8 posted on 02/11/2019 5:38:23 AM PST by Joe Brower ("Might we not live in a nobler dream than this?" -- John Ruskin)
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To: sodpoodle
I read that 4,153,237 people got married last year. Not to cause any trouble, but shouldn't that be an even number?

If that’s from 1987 it’s my fault. I married a Canadienne.
10 posted on 02/11/2019 6:17:09 AM PST by Dr. Sivana (There is no salvation in politics.)
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To: sodpoodle
Not exactly an aphorism but...

Hat tip to Hairy the Dog.

11 posted on 02/11/2019 6:19:31 AM PST by upchuck (When a society is open, then it [the Left] can’t win. ~ Daniel Greenfield)
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To: sodpoodle
shouldn't that be an even number?

The author is obviously politically incorrect and guilty of old think. Certainly if a feminist gaia lover married a tree, there would be only one person in the marriage. And what about the traditional Mormons or Islamic "refugees" with more than one spouse. That would throw the numbers off as well.

12 posted on 02/11/2019 6:39:12 AM PST by PAR35
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To: sodpoodle

The odd number represents that woman who married the “pirate ghost”.


13 posted on 02/11/2019 6:44:47 AM PST by 50sDad (A Liberal prevents me from telling you anything here)
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To: sodpoodle

Why do they call it the Department of the Interior when they are in charge of everything outdoors?


14 posted on 02/11/2019 6:51:57 AM PST by dfwgator (Endut! Hoch Hech!)
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To: sodpoodle
I learned something from my wife.

I lived alone for twenty years before I met her and found out
that I had been loading the dishwasher wrong all that time.

16 posted on 02/11/2019 7:20:46 AM PST by red-dawg (Climate change caused the end of the Ice Age. Did man play a part in it?)
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To: sodpoodle
I read that 4,153,237 people got married last year.

Point taken regarding the uneven number but the correct grammar would be 4,153,237 people got married last year.

19 posted on 02/11/2019 12:24:57 PM PST by MosesKnows
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To: sodpoodle
I read that 4,153,237 people got married last year.

Point taken regarding the uneven number but the correct grammar would be 4,153,237 people got married last year.

21 posted on 02/11/2019 12:28:59 PM PST by MosesKnows
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To: sodpoodle

Odd how you put your garments into a suitcase but your suits into a garment bag.


22 posted on 02/11/2019 1:08:49 PM PST by DNME (The only solution to a BAD guy with a gun is a GOOD guy with a gun.)
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To: sodpoodle
The reason Mayberry was so peaceful and quiet was because nobody was married. Andy, Aunt Bea, Barney, Floyd, Howard, Goober, Gomer, Sam, Ernest T . Bass, Helen, Thelma Lou, Clara and, of course, Opie were all single.

Charlene Darling was married to Dud Wash.

23 posted on 02/11/2019 1:13:12 PM PST by Harmless Teddy Bear (If you are going to be baked by a witch you might as well go out with a mouth full of gingerbread!)
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