Posted on 01/10/2019 10:24:38 PM PST by gattaca
U.S.—With the government shutdown in effect, life has felt incomplete for many Americans. “Everything is just too easy—it’s boring,” said restaurant owner Gloria Morgan, “and I realized it’s because we’re missing an essential challenge in life: soulless bureaucrats posing arbitrary rules on us.”
One of the primary functions of the government is to ignorantly muck around in the business of others, but the shutdown has hampered that. Thus citizens have been forced to try to fill that void themselves. “Today I just suddenly decided large sodas weren’t allowed,” said Morgan. “It was an annoying, pointless obstacle the whole day—it was like the government was still around.”
“I arbitrarily decided I couldn’t use plastic bags in school lunches,” said Arlene Williams, mother of three. “It was really irritating to deal with. It really made me feel like there was still some bureaucrat out there not caring about me.”
Not everyone found it easy to take the government’s place, though. “I tried imposing random rules on myself, but it wasn’t the same,” said business owner Patrick Stanley. “The problem is I understand my business too well, so a lot of the rules actually made sense. I really need someone with no understanding of my company or economics making these rules, or it just doesn't feel right.
“Forced to interfere in their own lives”
Classic!
Awesome!
As usual, the Bee is great, lol
Most excellent.
It means people will have to protect themselves from themselves. They’ll have to tell themselves “don’t drink that sugary drink” or “don’t eat that hamburger”. “Don’t use that straw because it’s bad for the environment”.
For real - During the Obama Administration, during a shutdown, the feds went over to Mount Vernon to block up the parking lot. They were told that Mount Vernon is a private entity owned by the Mount Vernon Ladies Association and is not owned by the Federal government. So, they had to unblock the parking lot.
p to satire!
Any Leftist KNOWS, with the conviction of a Born Again Scientologist, that Personal Responsibility is as obsolete and unnecessary as a hitching rail in front of a downtown store.
No prole can make any decisions, no matter how inconsequential, without a written law to guide him.
Now that’s funny!
I love the Bee! Reminds me of the old National Lampoon of the 70s, back in my college days.
I can’t unnerstan’ what time to wake up; my life is ruined.
<><> A permanent Leftist scar on the body politic: Personal Responsibility is obsolete and unnecessary.
<><> No prole can make a decision, no matter how inconsequential, without a law written by a benevolent Congress to guide him.
LOL
That’s great.
They’ll be back.
In the mean, time let us cherish there precious moments.
OSHA showed up where I work on Monday for a programmed inspection (in other words not an imminent danger complaint or something like that). The government is not shut down enough.
LOL! They’ve really captured the essence of government.
This is funny..I’m glad conservatives have a sense of humor. If DU did this...liberals would be outraged.
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