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Disappearing Beto O'Rourke Campaign Signs Mystery Solved (Satire)
9/19/18 | RetiredTexasVet

Posted on 09/19/2018 6:55:40 PM PDT by RetiredTexasVet

The mystery of the disappearing Beto O'Rourke campaign signs has been solved by the Texas Rangers. Numerous citizens of Travis County, Texas have been complaining that their Beto (Dem candidate for senator) campaign signs have been disappearing. The citizens must pay the county Democratic organization $10 each for replacement signs (with proceeds going to the Beto campaign fund). Although requested, the Austin police and Travis County sheriff departments have refused to investigate.

The Republican county chair requested the Texas AG instruct the Texas Rangers to investigate because they were being blamed for the thefts.

Texas Ranger Straight was assigned and performed the investigation. Ranger Straight determined that the Dem County organization had hired homeless people to steal the Beto signs for $2.00 each. Straight determined that the Beto campaign had fallen on hard times for fund raising because of his open borders and disrespect for the national anthem.

Straight had also determined that blacks were encouraged to display Beto campaign signs on the belief that they would not have their welfare pulled or late night visits from CPS. Straight thought this especially cruel because that $10 could have gone for cigarettes, Texas Lottery Tickets, or possibly even food and clothing for the children. Hispanics were encouraged to have the Beto campaign signs to ward off ICE visits.

Although Ranger Straight found many possible charges, he could find no one willing to press charges.


TOPICS: Conspiracy; Local News; Society
KEYWORDS: sarcasm; satire; scorn

1 posted on 09/19/2018 6:55:40 PM PDT by RetiredTexasVet
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To: RetiredTexasVet

Sounds legit.


2 posted on 09/19/2018 6:57:13 PM PDT by FreedomPoster (Islam delenda est)
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To: FreedomPoster

A tale not worthy of the Texas Rangers.

Good OTR series though.


3 posted on 09/19/2018 6:58:35 PM PDT by wally_bert (Terrific! Terrific? Harve Nyquist never ordered any radials.)
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To: RetiredTexasVet

What is Satire today becomes Reality tomorrow with the democrats.


4 posted on 09/19/2018 7:00:23 PM PDT by GraceG ("Q is not a Cult, you can safely leave at any time, unlike Islam")
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To: RetiredTexasVet

Aaah, the old false flag trick.


5 posted on 09/19/2018 7:00:59 PM PDT by MtnClimber (For photos of Colorado scenery and wildlife, click on my screen name for my FR home page.)
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To: RetiredTexasVet

Nothing satirical about this scenario.


6 posted on 09/19/2018 7:02:10 PM PDT by TADSLOS (Are you Humbly Grateful or Grumbly Hateful?)
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To: RetiredTexasVet

Beto means “free stuff” in Irish?


7 posted on 09/19/2018 7:04:23 PM PDT by smokingfrog ( sleep with one eye open (<o> ---)
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To: RetiredTexasVet

Satire has to be labeled as such in the title.


8 posted on 09/19/2018 7:06:48 PM PDT by BenLurkin (The above is not a statement of fact. It is either satire or opinion. Or both.)
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To: BenLurkin

Is there any truth in this story? I put out conservative signs near Boulder, CO and never had one last 24 hours. Probably 29 or 30 in the last 20 years.


9 posted on 09/19/2018 7:10:52 PM PDT by MtnClimber (For photos of Colorado scenery and wildlife, click on my screen name for my FR home page.)
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To: BenLurkin

But is it?


10 posted on 09/19/2018 7:11:57 PM PDT by AndyJackson
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To: RetiredTexasVet

Irish Frank’s campaign going down the drain. Latest poll (first one that polled likely voters) showed Ted Cruz with a 9 point lead. This, after the non-stop love fest with the flagburning media, and Ted Cruz not even seriously campaigning.


11 posted on 09/19/2018 7:17:04 PM PDT by MuttTheHoople (GOP- 65 House and 12 Senate seat pickups in November)
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To: RetiredTexasVet

I’m in the North Dallas area and all I see are BETO signs. Granted I’m in a mostly Muslim/Indian area.


12 posted on 09/19/2018 7:25:08 PM PDT by StolarStorm
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To: StolarStorm

I’m from Houston, but was in the Dallas North Park area a couple of weeks ago and there were a lot of Beta signs and no Cruz signs that I noticed.


13 posted on 09/20/2018 8:25:14 AM PDT by smokingfrog ( sleep with one eye open (<o> ---)
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