Posted on 03/22/2018 5:26:00 AM PDT by SandRat
I am waiting in the "Poor Pathetic Schmuck" line for my boarding pass at the airport. There are at least 30 people in front of me. In the next line over, at the counter for the same airline, an attendant is doing nothing but waiting for the next "Elite" customer to show up.
The Elite passenger has no time to waste waiting in line. It's doubtful that they will even let his baggage rub up against mine, because there's no telling what loathsome disease it might be passing along.
The airline to my right has a similar caste system, but instead of calling their passengers "Elite," they are "Privileged" and "Ambassadors." The airline on my left uses "Commoner" and "Royals" to distinguish the people who are worth being fussed over from the ones who aren't.
What ever happened to plain old "first class"?
Cruise lines, car rental agencies, even neighborhood supermarkets are rewarding frequent customers with deals, but also with semi-royal titles for those who pledge loyalty.
Cruise ships are all named The Royal Something, The Regal Whatnot, The Noble Whosit, The Majestic Whatever. The message is that you will be treated like royalty — if you can cough up enough money. But I wonder if actual royalty, like the Queen of England, say, would really be impressed with what constitutes elite, royal, privileged service.
Something tells me that Her Royal Highness expects more than a little free champagne in a souvenir glass and a tiny suite upgrade when she cruises. Something tells me she doesn't stand in a long line to go through customs, and may not have to go through a metal detector, either.
And while the food on board is excellent, even as a "Royalty" customer, she'd be eating it with 500 other people, some of whom bought last-minute discount tickets and WHO OWN NO HORSES OR CORGIS! Oh, the humanity! Who wants to eat with them?
They may not even have second or third castles. Some of them even handle cash. Cash without her picture on it. The mind reels.
Face it, if you don't have your own gigantic yacht or private plane, you're not being treated like royalty. Yes, the Queen has flown commercial in the past, but I understand she bought every seat in first class for the entourage. I can't quite picture Her Highness sitting next to a guy who yaps at her the entire flight.
"So you're a queen," he says. "That's great. I'm a king. The Hot Dog King of Brooklyn! I started with one little street cart and now I own a chain. How about that! From nuttin' to all dis. How'd you make your money?"
Her flight attendant will probably not get knighted for calling her "honey" and "dearie" the entire flight.
Still, she's been around the block and can probably handle all that. What will put her over the top is when she starts getting nickeled and dimed for her extra luggage and having to wait for the "Courtesy Bus" to the airport parking lot.
You know it's not going to be a great day when it starts with "Off with their heads!"
I was jealous of the Elite, Prestige and Royals who jumped the line next to me for a while. But when they announced our departure would be delayed for three hours, it hit me that they had paid extra to be in the same boat I was in. They weren't going to arrive any earlier than I was. They'd still get a better seat, they'd still get the extra courtesy and attention they'd paid for, but they weren't going to get where we were going any faster.
They'll miss their connecting flights the same as I will. If I'm not careful, I'll start to think that I'm one of the Elite.
Contact Jim Mullen at mullen.jim@gmail.com.
Try flying for freaking 4 or 5 thousand miles a week for 4 0 weeks out of the year for 10 or 15 years and amassing 3 million miles (all domestic) and then tell me “Elite flyers” don’t earn the perks.
Pathetic jealous jerk.
The author had better not be anti-gun.
Are any of these airlines which offer titles of nobility state-supported in their home countries? If so, any government official who accepts such a title is subject to being fired; or impeached if in an elected position...
;-)
Tongue in cheek, but with an undercurrent of class envy.
Those that argue greed is the driving force of free markets are loathe to acknowledge that envy is the driving force of socialism. The envy is strong in this one.
I wanna be a KNIGHT of the FREE REPUBLIC.
Please, please, can I be a KNIGHT?
Knights of the Free Republic. That has a pretty cool ring to it.
What’s worse is the two tiered justice system.
How much more does Jeff Sessions need to prosecute Joe Biden for being a pedophile?
how much more does Jeff sessions need to prosecute Hillary Clinton, obama, and Comey for treason?
Face it folks, you want justice, you had darm well better be prepared to issue it yourself.
Exactly. For most “elite” flyers, it isn’t about what they are paying, but about how much they fly. I see this frequently, where people that don’t fly much act jealous of my early boarding and the way I am treated, without realizing just how much of my life is spent flying.
They will be in the front of the plane so they will arrive at the destination a few seconds before you. On the other hand, they would arrive a few seconds earlier at the crash site too.
A friend told me of a sales rep at his company. He was sitting in First Class when the CEO walked past toward his coach seat.
Hopefully the rep was using points.
the real elite are flying general aviation or also known as private.
They don’t even grace the same facilities that you use
What a socialist a-hole.
Maybe some people want to control what they can about having to fly, such as if you’re in first class it’s a bit less likely you’ll be next to a crying baby or a 400# person spilling into your seat. Or a whiny baby like this guy.
There’s a local car wash with a special line for monthly unlimited wash “members” - I suppose he also thinks he should get in that line without paying for it...
And they pay the price for the extra service - sometimes 10 times the price.
This is an engineered shortage.
The TSA and the airlines are in cahoots to make the ordinary check-in/security system as loathsome as possible, to coerce you to fork over more money to receive an acceptable level of service.
It's all about the abuse of monopoly power and crony capitalism. Being able to check-in in an efficient manner and go through security efficiently is not a perk, it's what ought to be normal service.
“the real elite are flying general aviation”
indeed.
The demonicRATs have "Knights of the Invisible Empire" ...
Actually, some people's boats have swimming pools, helicopters and champagne. Depends on how hard you've worked.
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