Posted on 02/02/2018 6:05:17 AM PST by sodpoodle
Dear Sir, ,P.I have a very complicated benefits question. Many years ago, I married a widow who had an 18 year old daughter. After the wedding, my father, a widower, came to visit a number of times, and he fell in love with my step daughter. My father eventually married her without my authorization.
As a result my step-daughter became my step mother and my father became my son in law.
My father's wife (also my step daughter) and my step-mother, gave birth to a son who is my grandchild because I am the husband of my step daughter's mother. This boy is also my brother, as the son of my father.
As you can see, my wife became a grandmother, because she is the mother of my father's wife. Therefore it appears that I am also my wife's grandchild. A short time after these events, my wife gave birth to a son, who became my father's brother-in-law, the step-son of my father's wife, and my uncle. My son is also my step mother's brother, and through my step-mother, my wife has become a grandmother and I have become my own grandfather.
In light of the above mentioned, I would like to know the following: Does my son, who is also my uncle, my father's son-in-law and my step mother's brother fulfill the requirements for receiving childcare benefits?
Sincerely yours,
Mohammad
==============
,P>THE ANSWER:
Of course you qualify, Mohammad! I have arranged to start mailing the checks to all of you just as soon as you arrive here in California.
Yours faithfully,
Jerry Brown
Governor - State of California
The teacher asked the class to use the word 'fascinate' in a sentence.
Molly put up her hand and said, 'My family went to my granddad's farm, and we all saw his pet sheep. It was fascinating.'
The teacher said, 'That was good, but I wanted you to use the word 'fascinate, not fascinating'.
Sally raised her hand. She said, 'My family went to see Rock City and I was 'fascinated.'
The teacher said, 'Well, that was good Sally, but I wanted you to use the word 'fascinate.'
Little Johnny raised his hand.
The teacher hesitated because she had been burned by Little Johnny before.
She finally decided there was no way he could damage the word 'fascinate,' so she called on him.
Johnny said, 'My aunt Gina has a sweater with ten buttons, but her tits are so big she can only fasten eight.'
The teacher sat down and cried.
If someone asks you what the difference is between most of the Obama/Hillary/Bernie supporters and most of the Trump supporters, instead of stammering and stuttering and trying to come up with a long answer, just tell them...
The Trump supporters sign their checks on the front, and the Obama supporters sign their checks on the back.
I NEVER REALIZED THAT IT WAS THIS SIMPLE!
I actually had a patient, not named Mohammed, whose family was as described in the joke. It was very confusing. Glad when he moved to HI.
It is getting dark and they are still far away from the convent.
SM: Have you noticed that a man has been following us for the past 38½ minutes? I wonder what he wants.
SL: It's logical. He wants to violate us.
SM: Oh, no! At this rate he will reach us in 15 minutes at the most! What can we do?
SL: The only logical thing to do of course is to walk faster. A LITTLE WHILE LATER . . .
SM: It's not working.
SL: Of course it's not working. The man did the only logical thing. He started to walk faster, too.
SM: So, what shall we do? At this rate he will reach us in 1 minute.
SL: The only logical thing we can do is split. You go that way and I'll go this way. He cannot follow us both.
SO THE MAN DECIDED TO FOLLOW SISTER LOGICAL.
SISTER MATHEMATICAL ARRIVES AT THE CONVENT AND IS WORRIED ABOUT WHAT HAS HAPPENED TO SISTER LOGICAL.
THEN SISTER LOGICAL ARRIVES.
SM: Sister Logical! Thank God you are here! Tell me what happened!
SL: The only logical thing happened. The man couldn't follow us both,so he followed me.
SM: Yes, yes! But what happened then?
SL: The only logical thing happened. I started to run as fast as I could and he started to run as fast as he could. SM: And? SL: The only logical thing happened. He reached me. SM: Oh, dear! What did you do? SL : I lifted my dress up. SM: Oh, Sister! What did the man do? SL: He pulled down his pants. SM: Oh, no! What happened then? SL: Isn't it logical, Sister? A nun with her dress up can run faster than a man with his pants down. AND FOR THOSE OF YOU WHO THOUGHT IT WOULD BE DIRTY . . . . . . SAY TWO HAIL MARY'S! And the Moral of the Story is: LOGIC BEATS MATH ANYTIME. And Math cannot survive without Logic.
You win today's internet!
That’s great!
In-laws and Out-laws’)
Yep - see the Willie Nelson video;)
Mia needs to get over this and stop writing letters to Dear Abby!!!
Farrow - FUNNY;0 It took me a few minutes! lol
I think that’s a country song, up to the welfare check part.
When a Trump supporter swipes their card at the checkout stand, it's with the expectation that a payment will have to be made the following month. When an Obama supporter swipes their card at the checkout stand, it's with the expectation that the government will reload the card the following month.
Conservatives want equality at the starting line. Liberals want equality at the finish line
Excellent!
The story is based on a humor piece written by Mark Twain. The song based on it, ‘I Am My Own Grandpa’, was written in the 1930s and was made popular by Lonzo & Oscar in the 1940s.
Thx - learn something new every day. So the ‘good ol’ days were pretty much like the ‘bad new ones’? Tee Hee
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