Trump walks into a bar and......,,,
Here are a few good quotes I like. Hope this helps!
definition of an economist: An expert who has predicted nine of the last five recessions.
When fish are in schools, they sometimes take debate.
General Mattis has a bear rug in his home, but it’s not dead. It’s just afraid to move.
The Tea Party was a testosterone injection into the Low-T party. - Kurt Schlicter
Of course my password is insecure. You would be too if you got replaced every six months.
A cow, an ant and an old fart are debating on who is the greatest of the three of them.
The cow said, “I give 20 quarts of milk every day and that’s why I am the greatest!”
The ant said, “I work day and night, summer and winter, I can carry 52 times my own weight and that’s why I am the greatest!”
Well? Come on... it’s YOUR TURN to say something.
One is the "regular" Santa. The other Santa Claus is for kids who want 12 items or less.
A young boy went to his father and asked him, “Dad, what is the difference between ‘potentially’ and ‘realistically’?”
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>> The father thought for a moment, then answered, “Y’know what? I’ll give you an
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>> assignment, and you’ll find out by yourself. Go ask your mother if she would sleep
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>> with Brad Pitt for a million dollars. Then ask your sister if she’d sleep with Brad Pitt for a million dollars. And finally, ask your brother if he’d sleep with Brad Pitt for a million dollars. Come back and tell me what you learn from that.”
>>
>>
>> So the boy went to his mother and asked, “Would you sleep with Brad Pitt for a million dollars?” The mother replied, “Of course, I would! We could really use that money to fix up the house and send you kids to a great university!”
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>> The boy then went to his sister and asked, “Would you sleep with Brad Pitt for a million dollars?” The girl replied, “Oh, good heavens! I LOVE Brad Pitt and I’d sleep with him in a heartbeat. Are you nuts?”
>>
>> The boy then went to his brother and asked, “Would you sleep with Brad Pitt
>> for a million dollars?” Immediately, the young man said “Of course. Do you know how much a million bucks would buy?”
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>> The boy pondered the answers for a few days and then went back to his dad. His father asked him, “Did you find out the difference between ‘potentially’ and realistically’”?
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>> The boy replied, “Yes. Potentially, you and I are sitting on three million dollars, but realistically, we’re living with two hookers and a future
>> congressman . . . “
He no longer had time to do it. He did try and get someone else to post for him. So here is a happy little silly painting!
My favorite silly cartoon
Let's not forget Mad Moe who is so Mad even the Maddest Mad house is not Mad enough for his Madness!
Oh my goodness! They finally caught up with this guy after 14 centuries! Did Trump get elected President or something?
Meanwhile somewhere else in the Mid-East...
"Insert funny comment here"
"The Invisible Bikini" by Seymour Hair
“The Yellow River”, by I. P. Freely, also author of “Yellow Stained Glass for Dummies”
400 Yards to the Outhouse, by Willy Makeit, illustrated by Bette Dont
Under The Grandstand, by Seymour Butz
The Tiger's Revenge, by Claude Bahls
And the Spots on Wall series:
"Brown Spots on the Wall" by Hu Flung Pu
"Green Spots on the Wall" by Pickett N. Flickett
"Yellow Spots on the Wall" by I.P. Freely
"White Spots on the Wall" by C. Mann
No time for silly. Its the end of the world here in Atlanta. One inch of snow. Please pray for us. :-)
what do you call a guy with no arms, no legs floating in the water? Bob
what do you call a guy with no arms, no legs and duct taped to the wall? Art
what do you call a guy with no arms, no legs at the front door? Matt
The Friday Sillyness?
It went away.
Its feelings were hurt, because everyone just laughed at it!
Bookmarking
A woman in a supermarket is following a grandfather and his badly-behaved grandson. He has his hands full with the child screaming for candy, cookies, all sorts of things.
The grandpa is saying in a controlled voice: “Easy,Pete, we won’t be long-easy, boy.” The boy has another outburst and she hears the grandpa calmly say: “It’s okay, Pete. Just a couple more minutes and we’ll be out of here. Hang in there, son.” At the checkout the little horror is throwing items out of the shopping cart. Grandpa says again in a controlled voice, “Pete, Pete, relax buddy, don’t get upset. We’ll be home in five minutes, stay cool, Pete.”
Very impressed, she goes outside to where the grandfather is loading his groceries and the boy into the car. She says: “It’s none of my business, but you were amazing in there. I don’t know how you did it. That whole time you kept your composure, and no matter how loud and disruptive he got, you just calmly kept saying things would be okay. Pete is very lucky to have you as his grandpa.”
“Thanks,” says the grandpa, “but I am Pete. This little bastard’s name is Kevin.”