Posted on 07/29/2017 4:24:33 AM PDT by sodpoodle
PRESIDENT TRUMP ANNOUNCES SALE OF CALIFORNIA TO MEXICO WASHINGTON DC (AP)
At 12:15 pm today President Trump disclosed that he has reached an agreement with Enrique Pena Nieto, President of Mexico, which provides for the sale of substantially all of the State of California to the country of Mexico. President Trump noted that this deal, which he claims “is his largest real estate deal ever” is a win-win for everyone involved. One of the benefits he says he will highlight during a prime time address from the oval office later this evening, will include using the proceeds received by the US from Mexico to 1) pay for the Wall (fulfilling yet another campaign promise), a wall which will now include the length of the eastern boarder of California, 2) fund all the infrastructure spending in the remaining 49 states and 3) pay to relocate the 67 Republicans that currently reside in California. He also noted that Federal money saved from the reduction of California citizens on US social programs will allow those social programs to be cash positive in less than 3 years.
Mexican President Nieto announced that he has already introduced a bill to the Mexican Congress asking to change his country’s name to MexiCal.
Other benefits President Trump intends to discuss during this evening’s prime time address include:
California will now be able to act as a sanctuary state within MexiCal noting that there is much more room for the refugees who will find the climate in the State of California more desirable than the climate in US cities such as NYC, Detroit, or Chicago.
The elimination of the existing border between Mexico and California will allow drugs to flow more freely between Mexico and the users in Hollywood. Drug tunnel diggers at the Tijuana boarder will now be able to use their skills to dig tunnels under Los Angeles to help ease congestion in that city and allow rioters to move about the city’s universities more freely.
The U.S. taxpayer will no longer be on the hook for any future disaster relief required once the next mega-quake hits California.
The space in the Capitol and other DC buildings vacated by representatives of California will be fumigated and turned into “time-out rooms” for the press as well as Liberty Centers where US citizens can meet with their congressmen to discuss the pursuit of economic freedom.
Nancy Pelosi released a statement stating that she looks forward to making the Mexican President’s life miserable and prefers the year round weather in Mexico City to that of DC. Her office has already announced a schedule of fund raising activities for what is believed to be an upcoming campaign to run for President of MexiCal.
Papers released along with Trump’s statement reveal that a newly incorporated real estate company, pmurT, Inc., which was intimately involved in the deal discussions, will receive a broker fee of $25 billion on the California sale. An anonymous pmurT, Inc representative has revealed that the profits on the deal are HUGE and will be used to purchase, develop and convert all abandoned US Federal facilities in California into special high end retreats and resorts which will assist California residents with managing their euphoria and transition into the nanny state they have so long desired to be.
The exact northern border of the new MexiCal is still under negotiation. Apparently the White House is concerned that certain members of congress may be unwilling to give up California’s wine country and are suggesting that the northern border align with the north end of the Golden Gate Bridge.
California residents will be issued special blue cards to cross the border into the US so that the total number of California liberals entering the US can be tracked and at any point in time not exceed predetermined levels. Residents that remain in California after the effective date of the sale will not be allowed to seek refugee status in the US in the future.
Mexican President Nieto stated he is thrilled with the deal and is looking forward to declaring Spanish the national language for his newly acquired territory and opening SSL (Spanish as a second language) schools throughout California. He also noted that funding for the transaction would come from the Mexican drug cartels, which have agreed to provide low interest loans to Mexico so long as they are allowed to move their cash out of Switzerland and the Cayman Islands back into Mexico tax free. He also said he considers the fact that a Disney park will now be located within his country an added bonus.
President Trump wrapped up his statement stating, “this deal is HUGE and will help Make America, albeit a little smaller, Great Again”.
Bite the bullet and take your loss.
There are MANY OTHER places as beautiful in real America.
Sell it??? We should give it to Mexico for free. After all, The way California became part of the U.S. was to steal it from Mexico.
“fund all the infrastructure spending in the remaining 49 states and”
Think the author meant remaining 56 states.
Sell? Give it back! We stole it.
Keep the North State and pay Mexico to take the rest.
Stop with the stupid BS it is never going to happen!
The left says we stole the whole US from somebody!
It was clearly marked as satire.
NOUN
the use of humor, irony, exaggeration, or ridicule to expose and criticize people’s stupidity or vices, particularly in the context of contemporary politics and other topical issues.
According to appearances, North Korea might just be working on it. /sarc>
How about we give your double-wide to Mexico.
I know, let’s post a thread about your wonderful state being sold to a third world hell hole and see how funny it is...
The article is not ‘funny’. It lists all the problems caused by lax immigration enforcement and many other destructive liberal policies.
I have never visited California, but from what I have read, it is a beautiful part of the land we call the USA. Let’s try to appreciate and keep it safe for future generations of US citizens.
Your heart is in the right place. God bless.
Never happen.
Far too many POOR Mexicans and other illegals in California for Mexico to want it.
It’s SATIRE;) Believe I’ll have to pull the thread....too many FReepers are noting the true problems, but not the irony of the ‘supposed’ solutions.
Take care.
And how did Mexico get California in the first place.
There are not many places in this world where the original inhabitants are still in place and own the real estate. Everywhere land was conquered from someone else, including here in America. Native tribe conquered territory from each other all of the time.
But, I see your point. We could give them everything south of the Tehone Pass excluding San Diego and be much better off than we are now. Hell, I would pay them to take Los Angeles. . . and San Francisco. . . And Sacramento.
I fully understand.
I was being facetious for the sake of being facetious
Its not satire, its stupid.
The size of the California economy is so much larger than Mexico's, you would sell Mexico to California.
Or, sell California to France, or Japan, or China.
Its not satire, its stupid.
The size of the California economy is so much larger than Mexico's, you would sell Mexico to California.
Or, sell California to France, or Japan, or China.
Thank you and God bless you too.
The Redwoods
Joseph B. Strauss
Here, sown by the Creator’s hand.
In serried ranks, the Redwoods stand:
No other clime is honored so,
No other lands their glory know.
The greatest of Earth’s living forms,
Tall conquerors that laugh at storms;
Their challenge still unanswered rings,
Through fifty centuries of kings.
The nations that with them were young,
Rich empires, with their forts far-flung,
Lie buried now-their splendor gone:
But these proud monarchs still live on.
So shall they live, when ends our days,
When our crude citadels decay;
For brief the years allotted man,
But infinite perennials’ span.
This is their temple, vaulted high,
And here, we pause with reverent eye,
With silent tongue and awestruck soul;
For here we sense life’s proper goal:
To be like these, straight, true and fine,
to make our world like theirs, a shrine;
Sink down, Oh, traveler, on your knees,
God stands before you in these trees.
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