Posted on 12/14/2016 12:18:00 PM PST by RummyChick
Irishman Dies from Stubbornness, Whiskey
Chris Connors died, at age 67, after trying to box his bikini-clad hospice nurse just moments earlier. Ladies man, game slayer, and outlaw Connors told his last inappropriate joke on Friday, December 9, 2016, that which cannot be printed here. Anyone else fighting ALS and stage 4 pancreatic cancer would have gone quietly into the night, but Connors was stark naked drinking Veuve in a house full of friends and family as Al Green played from the speakers. The way he died is just like he lived: he wrote his own rules, he fought authority and he paved his own way. And if you said he couldn’t do it, he would make sure he could.
Most people thought he was crazy for swimming in the ocean in January; for being a skinny Irish Golden Gloves boxer from Quincy, Massachusetts; for dressing up as a priest and then proceeding to get into a fight at a Jewish deli. Many gawked at his start of a career on Wall Street without a financial background – but instead with an intelligent, impish smile, love for the spoken word, irreverent sense of humor, and stunning blue eyes that could make anyone fall in love with him.
As much as people knew hanging out with him would end in a night in jail or a killer screwdriver hangover, he was the type of man that people would drive 16 hours at the drop of a dime to come see. He lived 1000 years in the 67 calendar years we had with him because he attacked life; he grabbed it by the lapels, kissed it, and swung it back onto the dance floor. At the age of 26 he planned to circumnavigate the world – instead, he ended up spending 40 hours on a life raft off the coast of Panama. In 1974, he founded the Quincy Rugby Club. In his thirties, he sustained a knife wound after saving a woman from being mugged in New York City. He didn’t slow down: at age 64, he climbed to the base camp of Mount Everest. Throughout his life, he was an accomplished hunter and birth control device tester (with some failures, notably Caitlin Connors, 33; Chris Connors, 11; and Liam Connors, 8).
He was a rare combination of someone who had a love of life and a firm understanding of what was important – the simplicity of living a life with those you love. Although he threw some of the most memorable parties during the greater half of a century, he would trade it all for a night in front of the fire with his family in Maine. His acute awareness of the importance of a life lived with the ones you love over any material possession was only handicapped by his territorial attachment to the remote control of his Sonos music.
Chris enjoyed cross dressing, a well-made fire, and mashed potatoes with lots of butter. His regrets were few, but include eating a rotisserie hot dog from an unmemorable convenience store in the summer of 1986.
Of all the people he touched, both willing and unwilling, his most proud achievement in life was marrying his wife Emily Ayer Connors who supported him in all his glory during his heyday, and lovingly supported him physically during their last days together.
Absolut vodka and Simply Orange companies are devastated by the loss of Connors. A “Celebration of Life” will be held during Happy Hour (4 p.m.) at York Harbor Inn on Monday, December 19.
In lieu of flowers, please pay open bar tab or donate to Connors’ water safety fund at www.thechrisconnorsfund.com.
Once every few months or so the internet has an obituary go viral but this is UNDOUBTEDLY my favorite on yet. From the opening line to the closing, it’s a tour de force on how to do a someone died post. From dying of stubbornness and whiskey to his children being “failed birth control tests” to Absolut vodka being devastated at the loss, Chris Connors just did it right.
You know why that is? It’s because he’s Irish. The Irish are the only people who know how to live so they’re the only ones who know how to die. Don’t die all depressing and shit and make everyone sad, die having fun. Make sure the wake is a party (Irish wake), make sure the funeral is a party (Irish funeral), and make the obituary fun. I can’t definitively speak for the first two but I’m willing to bet Chris Connors and his family and friends will make sure every one of those boxes is checked.
In fact, I’m gonna be home this weekend anyway so I’m sincerely considering heading up to Maine and hitting that “Celebration of Life” Happy Hour. Guaranteed it’s gonna be the party of the year.
RIP Chris, you did it right, my friend.
Best Obituary?
Scotty MacDuffer passed away.
Widow MacDuffer visits the local paper to place an obituary.
Of course she first asks, “How much is this gonna cost me?”
The editor tells her you pay by the word.
Widow MacDuffer says “Ok, how about ‘Scotty MacDuffer died’.”
Sadly, editor informs her there is a seven word minimum.
After a moment of intense concentration, Widow MacDuffer says, “Scotty MacDuffer died. Golf clubs for sale!”
For those that missed my Chick Fil A thread this morning..this story is worth reading, too. Another human interest story of a person who does not let adversity stand in his way..at the age of 17
http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/f-news/3504566/posts?q=1&;page=1
“Chris enjoyed cross dressing,”
*****
WTF, no thanks. Why I even bothered to read this fag obit..
looks like ya did....
Thats the start of para 5 out of 7.
Dont forget Ewan McTeagle’s poetry - true Scottish classics.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4W9p_NFm6qk
I thought that kinda “slipped” that one mistakes. Will Katie Jenner life to 100 years?
The man had kids ranging from 33 to 8 when he died at 67.
What a coincidence. In Minnesota Ole dies and the wife, Lena doesn't’ want to spend too much on an obit.
The paper guy gave Lena 5 free words.
Lena said put: Ole died, boat for sale.
Them Lutterin’ Norsk-veegians.
People of few, but powerful words!
I’m sure Sven spent a few quiet hours ice-fishing on Pelican Lake...
Funny, to me it sounds like the life I always intended to live - if life itself hadn’t gotten in the way.
Fun drop down at the sites link, “GIRLS”
You never really live the life you plan....you do what you can do.
Yeah, I’d like to go out with people saying “Dang girl, you done it all” rather than me sitting in a rocker saying “Well heck, I coulda done that” .... sorta like that last scene in Dr. Strangelove with Slim Pickens riding that H Bomb ... YeeHa!!!
Sometimes you have to pay a little extra to get the care you want.
My friend Lou Casimir was a retired English Professor from Bucknell University and had quite a sense of humor. He visited me in the morning and as usual had his excellent sense of humor. He went home, wrote his own obituary and died that same day.
Here is his obituary as printed in the newspaper and read by Click & Clack on Car Talk.
LEWISBURG - Louis J. Casimir Jr. bought the farm Thursday, Feb. 5, 2004, having lived more than twice as long as he had expected and probably three or four times as long as he deserved.
Although he was born into an impecunious family, in a backward and benighted part of the country at the beginning of the Great Depression, he never in his life suffered any real hardships.
Many of his childhood friends who weren’t killed or maimed in various wars became petty criminals, prostitutes, and/or Republicans.
He survived three years overseas in an infantry regiment in excellent health, then university for four years on the GI bill, and never thereafter had to do an honest day’s work.
He was loved by good women, had loyal friends, and all his children were healthy, handsome and bright.
For more than six decades, he smoked, drank and ate lots of animal fat, but never had a serious illness or injury.
His last wish was that everyone could be as lucky as he had been, even through his demise was probably iatrogenic.
He was preceded in death by his wife of 43 years, Judy.
He is survived by his brother Jack of Houston, Texas; and his children, Randall Kent of Brunswick, Ga., Louis John III (Trey) of Lewisburg, Thomas Bettis of Lewisburg and Edith Austin Wheat of Austin, Texas.
Lou was a daredevil: his last words were “Watch this!”
A memorial service and barbecue will be held on Labor Day at Lou’s place.
Donations may be made in Lou’s memory to the Union County Public Library, 205 Reitz Blvd., Lewisburg, PA 17837.
Funeral arrangements were by Shaw Funeral Home, Milton.
Editor’s note: This obituary was provided by the family.
[ As Read on Car Talk]
“Chris enjoyed cross dressing,”
*****
Hey, nothing wrong with having some fun... I dressed up in a wig and fancy dress for a Cub Scout Halloween Party as a member of the Budweiser Women’s Pool Team (for those who remember the commercial)... with a natural ZZ Top beard down to my navel and a cue stick.
I enjoyed the obit.Guy was obviously a good man, a nut and quite a guy.I would have liked to have met him
“The man had kids ranging from 33 to 8 when he died at 67.”
His wife might have been glad to see him go.
You really don’t get humor, do you.
Love it.
L
The head of the club raised a toast, turned to the corpse and said: Here’s to Gerald! By the way Gerry, you look like shit today!
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