March 4, 2014: Dave Barry Learns Everything You Need to Know About Being a Husband From Reading 50 S

Time Mag ^ | March 4, 2014 | Dave Barry

[aquila48]

So I read Fifty Shades of Grey. This is the book written by female British author “E. L. James” that became a huge bestseller, devoured by pretty much every woman on Earth except my wife (or so she claims).

I think I might be the only man who read this book. I did it sneakily, hiding the cover, especially when I was on an airplane, which actually is a good place to read this book because you have access to a barf bag. I say this because of the writing style, which is . . . OK, here’s one tiny sample of the writing style:

“Did you give him our address?” “No, but stalking is one of his specialties,” I muse matter-of-factly. Kate’s brow knits further.

[mylife]

You pissed off the mod.

[22202NOVA]

Dave Barry has more than 40 years’ experience as a teenage boy. He has never grown up and he’s as funny as he ever was.

[Scutter]

Yep, as good as ever. Always a guaranteed laugh.

[aquila48]

Yep.

But my first post was at midnight and I wanted to shar it with the non-insomniacs.

[mylife]

I enjoyed both posts. ☺

[Gritty]

Dave Barry had best quit writing right here and retire to Florida. He can't get any better, and he'll just frustrate himself like a horny teenager trying to do so. Oh, wait. You say he already has retired to Florida...?

Oh, well, retired or not, it doesn't matter. At least somebody has figured women out!

[miserare]

Dave is so hilarious. I hope he never retires.