Posted on 08/29/2014 5:04:20 AM PDT by Gamecock
FORT MILL — A Fort Mill man is charged with criminal domestic violence after his girlfriend said he hit her with a watermelon Wednesday evening.
The 41-year-old girlfriend said that her live-in boyfriend, Jimmy Poage, 48, had been drinking and believed she was cheating on him. She claims that Poage threw a watermelon at her, a York County Sheriff Office report states. It hit her recently repaired hip.
Police arrived and found Poage walking away from their J.W. Wilson Road residence. Poage, still intoxicated, told police his girlfriend lied about being hit with the watermelon. Poage said his girlfriend slapped him and smeared watermelon on her clothes.
Poage was charged with criminal domestic violence, with a $5,000 bond.
Sounds fishy. I bet the boyfriend paid for her operation and she wanted him out now that she used him.
Sounds fishy.
...true pulp fiction, in my estimation...seedy as can be...
sounds like a real juicy story......
someone should have called obama at 3am to notify him. he would’ve have loved to be in on some sensual watermelon action with reggie. “Smear” and “watermelon” - no two bigger turn ons for a queer like our president.
Background checks for watermelon, now!
Sounds like the modus operandi of the EPA/Sierra Club/Friends of the Earth/Earth Defense Fund etc.
Absolutely. How could you NOT come to that conclusion from the article? ;-)
Small and round? Or big and oblong?
Seedless to say, she is going to rind up in jail.
This Flower of the Olde South was viciously attacked with an Assault Watermelon! These weapons are available to anyone with a Piggly Wiggly Card/EBT!
Dangerous Right Wing Fanatics clinging to their Bibles and Automatic Assault Watermelons make repeal of the Second Amendment MANDATORY!
Did I mention that Watermelon-Centered Agriculture adds to Global Warming? "Other side," you ask? My cousin Jimmy Poage (a certified Nuclear Physicist) was always a good boy and was probably on his way to Bible Study when this hussy undoubtedly provoked him.
Watermelons have been used to injure and intimidate for years. In his autobiography, Mark Twain relates a tale where he used a half eaten watermelon to bomb successfully the head of his younger brother, Henry, as his sibling skipped down the street under the second story window where young Mark was setting type for the local newspaper.
Twain noted all was well til he came home that evening and little Henry clobbered him in the head with a rock so hard that Twain had to wear two hats for a while.
Dis entire tread be raciss.
Lol
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