“Diarrhea”. Not another word will be said.
Who hasn’t a “dead battery”? You can’t use this one very often, but it’s always worked for me.
Long ago when Imus was doing his original show in NYC, he had a contract dispute with the station. He found that while his show as number one in NYC, John Gambling on another station was earning more than he was while Gambling was third in popularity. He had a no strike clause. So, he went on a work slow down. First day he was an hour late and announced he was delayed as the Japanese took the bridge ahead. Second day he was an hour late he said he did not want to break the turtle parade on the LIE. He got his raise. The perfect excuses and ones that got him his raise!
Millennials in the Workplace
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Sz0o9clVQu8
“My gun jammed.”
Just show up with donuts.
There is no good excuse for being late.
Ever.
Be on time.
A cable snapped and I could not get my garage door open
(actually happened to me once)
I thought I was laid off today.
I was starting to set up my "Poet's Galley" in the spare bedroom, next to where I was preparing to spend the whole day tucking my kid into bed. Being 25, he was a little PO'ed about that. So was his chick.
Then my boss called and said, "WTF are you? Get your %@#* fanny in here!" My career in poetry and tucking kids into bed, ruined.
most recently, my niece took off with my car keys... i had to wait till she got out of her morning class... she didn’t check her messages till she got to her office (work)... then she had to drive back to the house to bring me the keys... i was about 75 minutes late... it was no biggie as far as my employers were concerned... i love working for my young, Southern gentlemen attorney employers (they are brothers)...
Learn how to puke on cue...
TRAFFIC is overused.
“trabsportation”
Really?
I start an hour before everyone else, so I never have to come up with an excuse.
Around the oilfields “I met a really hot babe at the bar last night” pretty much worked every time.
Don’t pay the ransom boss; I escaped.
When I would to come in to work late, I would tell my boss that I’d have to leave early that day ,, as I dont want to be late twice in one day...
Back when I was working construction jobs I usually showed 30 minutes before the official start time, many others did too. I can’t say ever remember anyone showing up late twice.
My dog ate my Toyota.