Long ago when Imus was doing his original show in NYC, he had a contract dispute with the station. He found that while his show as number one in NYC, John Gambling on another station was earning more than he was while Gambling was third in popularity. He had a no strike clause. So, he went on a work slow down. First day he was an hour late and announced he was delayed as the Japanese took the bridge ahead. Second day he was an hour late he said he did not want to break the turtle parade on the LIE. He got his raise. The perfect excuses and ones that got him his raise!
Walmart had an older retired man working in one of their stores. Everyone liked him, he was a good worker, but he was always late. One day the manager took him aside and told him how much he was liked and what a good worker was, but he wanted to know why he was always late. He asked what they said when he was late in his old job. The retired worker replied, “Would you like some coffee General?”