[Vigilanteman]

#13. Find a cologne that smells like money.

[Mr. Jeeves]

OK, the first picture makes this a premium quality thread - the rest of the content is irrelevant. :)

[Secret Agent Man]

and when the govt swat team guns you donw because they misread the address, or kill you defending your tomato plants they thought were pot, or you tried to save your dog that was contained in your own yard,

if they don’t shoot you in the face,

your corpse will be beautiful enough to have an open casket.

Cheer up, citizen.

[Signalman]

Have lots of these:

[rfp1234]

Wait - a liberal publication like Business Insider is promoting heterosexuality?!

[NotYourAverageDhimmi]

#14 way to make yourself more attractive to the opposite sex...

Sen. Edward Kennedy: "Have you ever tried coming out of the bathroom nude, and acting like you didn't know someone was there?"

Ted Kennedy at the Clarence Thomas Hearings

[Buckeye McFrog]

The “nice teeth” is an undervalued one. Particularly as women age.

[null and void]

I find that the roller-coaster ride starts AFTER I’ve met them...

[central_va]

Be able to give a girl "good wallet".

[NY Cajun]

All you need is a good pick-up line.

One that has always worked for me was:

“Excuse me Miss, does this rag smell like chloroform?”

[Hardastarboard]

Women are only interested in one thing - that big bulge in your pants. That's right - the bulge in your hip pocket.

The sign language version of that is to drive around in a Porsche / Audi / Mercedes / Bentley.

[OldNewYork]

Health, wealth, beauty.

[Hot Tabasco]

Here's another few:

1. Lose 100 lbs.

2. Stop drooling when you first meet.

3. Don't brag about your room in your mother's basement even if you have a computer and are a master level internet game player.

4. Don't ask her to pick you up on your first date, just admit that you don't drive or have a car and will call a taxi.

5. Don't cry on her shoulder about the last relationship you had who happened to be living in Russia.......

6. Don't let her know that you are on anti-depressants.

7. Tell her you love animals but don't let on that you are allergic to cats and dogs and that your raise hampsters........

8. Don't tell her that you recently missed two weeks of work because you were in mourning over your goldfish dying.

9. And if you should be so lucky, when she asks you if you have any condoms, don't tell her you left the ketchup and mustard at home...........

[driftless2]

For men, if all else fails, hang a one hundred dollar bill around your neck. In short, make it very well known that you have considerable monetary resources. Even if you have to lie about it. I hope that doesn't make me sound cynical.

p.s. My wife does have considerably more dough than me.

[Uncle Miltie]

Don’t be a wuss.

[Revolting cat!]

“Do you sleep on your stomach? No. Can I?”

[Mad Dawgg]

For men it is easy.

Carry a big wad of hundred dollar bills around and drive a really expensive sports car.

[Jack Hammer]

Shower and a shave seems to work for me.

That, and walking around with a very fat wallet.