Posted on 01/01/2013 9:11:57 PM PST by San Rafael Blue
I wouldn’t want somebody making me leave my home. He doesn’t either.
My mom is 82 and said for years that she wanted to live in her house until she dies or decides to leave. Fine. And now her house is for sale and she has plans to move on. It was her decision to make.
Sounds like an excellent decision made by you and your siblings. Now you can visit him in peace. Who knows, without all the wise words coming from yall about why he should move, etc., he may finally decide he’s ready on his own, but if he doesn’t it’s ok. It’s a hard time in our lives when our parents get old.
At 82 let the man finish out his days as he wishes. Been in the same situation with an elderly parent so I just helped to the extent allowed and enjoyed the time I had with them.
That is his home. Why don’t you try to help him do the things he’s no longer capable of doing himself?
It’s a tough problem that a lot of us face.
How about you and your siblings going together to pay for the basic repairs that would make the house safe for him to live in. At age 82, he probably wants to stay where he is. Unless the neighborhood itself has became a dangerous place, of course.
Experiencing the same thing.
My dad loves his home, even as it decays around him, it holds memories.
I try to think of how I would feel in the same situation.
I would want to stay as long as it didn’t fall on top of me.
Let it be HIS decision and you and your siblings can rest easy.
As long as he’s functional and capable and reasonably comfortable, it’s best to leave it to him. He’ll leave when he’s ready, if ever.
Just keep your eye out for him failing to be able to care for himself, that’s probably the main issue.
my dad is 85 lives alone in his house on the east coast. I live in the heartland. He is still capable and I have no problem with this. What is frustrating is that he refuses to come visit us even when we offer him a door to door escort both ways.( he has no medical issues that would prevent him) Then he complains about being depressed and lonely over the holidays.
I hope my children are patient with me when I’m 85.
Be sure he has a clear way to the kitchen, bathroom, bedroom, etc. so he doesn't trip and God forbid break a hip.
Other than his "surroundings" it sounds like he is happy.
Please just look out for dangers like loose rugs and wires he could stumble over.
taking the pressure off him to move could be the very thing that gives him the ability to make the decision on his own. people naturally resist doing stuff when they really don’t want to yet. he could also die tomorrow totally happy in his home, too. and he’d be happy to have done so.
Been there. Your Dad is an adult. This is his decision - no one elses. The best thing you and your siblings could have done would have been to help with the repairs and maintainance.
Glad to hear that you are going to back off and help.
The ending was good, and absolutely correct. As long as Dad can still feed himself and handle bathroom business by himself, leave him be. I’m getting up there myself and am starting to think about this stuff.
There’s an old old house that once was a mansion
On a hill overlooking the own
Where time’s left a wreckage where once there was beauty
And soon the old house will tumble down
When the leaves start to fall in the autumn
And the rain starts to drip from the trees
There’s an old, old man who walks in the garden
And his head is bowed in memory.
They say he built the mansion for the love of a woman
And they planned to be married in the fall
But her love withered in the last days of summer
And the house stood empty after all.
But when the leaves start to fall in the autumn
And the rain starts to drip from the trees
There’s an old, old man who walks in the garden
And his head is bowed in memory.
(”The Old Old House” by George Jones & Hal Bynum)
“On a hill overlooking the Town”
(sorry for the typo)
lovely
I have seen this a thousand times: when well-meaning adult children remove an elderly parent from his or her beloved home against his will, depression follows, and death is on the horizon. Leave him alone. Let him stay in his house, go to Mass, see the people at his church. How does it harm you if he does so? He’s an adult; let him decide how he wishes to conduct his life. You don’t have the legal or moral right to interfere.
I must add that I’m beyond horrified you would even consider calling the health department as some sort of deception and manipulation to force your father to live the way you want him to live. What has he done to you that you would wish to remove him from the memory of his beloved wife and take from him the home and life he loves? What cruelty!
Why doesn’t this jackass help his Dad fix up the place his Dad earned?
Right you are.
Would seem the Kids could get together and fix it back up enough to keep him safe.
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